where the end begins

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i never thought that we’d end this tragically

because we never even began anything steadfast;

we never had our firsts, you see,

and i’m certain we’ll never have our lasts.

now i’m starting to believe the aches and pains

that a wise man wrote of just a few memories ago:

“how can i say ‘goodbye’ to the one i love,

when i haven’t even said ‘hello?’ ”

-

i had my doubts whether you felt the same;

and i don’t remember you ever calling my name…

so i reckon on and off that it wasn’t me all along.

how will i ever know where i really belong?

-

sure, we always had each other’s thoughts

entangled with thoughts of each other,

but why does it seem to have gotten through

that every little dream we dreamt is a dream…

a facet of life that doesn’t really come true?

-

somehow, i’m starting to feel that reality

is already sinking in too deep into me;

it’s cutting through too painfully to ignore.

somehow, i’m feeling the distance more and more.

however we try to come closer to each other

we’ll always drift and be torn apart.

it’s funny how fate can really command

the most stubborn beats of the heart.

-

something felt like we were meant to be:

that i was for you and you were for me.

i know we both felt that certain connection

but we lost in the mind game and lost affection.

silence has tortured and made a fool of us both

just when i thought we’d share it for good.

we’ve totally forgotten ourselves and our oath

now…

with only regrets to guide us, we’d go back if we could.

how could’ve we taken each other for granted?

how could’ve we given up what we really wanted?

we were so close to being really close,

and could have gotten there if only we chose

to sacrifice by being real to each other for a while

and, by giving and lingering for, a cognizant smile.

-

you can’t lose what you never had, so they say

(and for whatever you never had, there’s still a price to pay;

it’s unfair but that’s life, and no matter what we do

we’ll be wishing that next time, we’ll pull ourselves through.)

i’m not afraid of losing you after this;

not as much as i’m afraid that it’s you who i’ll miss.

i’m afraid of losing myself to you again…

the way i almost lost myself to you back then.

-

maybe you’re also seeing the same threats that threat me.

god only knows why the two of us can’t be.

where the end begins, the beginning ends…

i wished we didn’t end to late to be friends.