as i breathe in i remember the hard times
the times it seemed i'd never make it through
i can remember them now as nothing more than a brief instant
a moment full of emotion
those were the times i felt hopeless and lost
and smiled just to exercise my muscles

as i hold my breath in i remember the softer times
when i laughed until i cried
or cried until i laughed
i can remember football games and donut boxes
and sometimes miracles and accidents
those were the times i felt infinite and free
where my smiles were free and weightless

as i prepare to exhale i remember the times i felt weighted
when my mind was heavier than my physical body could ever be
it's as though my thoughts were heavy
yet my body so weak and i so immobile
those were the time i felt undefeated and already beat
where my smiles were mine and mine alone

as i breathe out i remember the silent times
when i sat as myself and as i am with no words
where i looked at the sky whilst lying down amongst friends
i can remember being weightless and quiet and counting my heartbeats
and sometimes endings and beginnings
those were the times i felt content and secure
where my smiles weren't needed because no one would see them

wednesday, june fifteenth, two thousand five