Little White Mints

Chapter 1: Scars

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It was a ploy, a devious ploy. I knew that, I wasn’t blind to Rocky’s seduction. I could feel the scars through my sweatshirt that hid them - proof.

I narrowed my eyes at the disgusting scene. Mara was giggling and blushing as Rocky offered her a mint. I could almost taste those tiny mints in my mouth. They were delicious then, but now they only filled my mouth with a repulsive flavor.

Then Rocky would give her his next offer - a date. There were so many conflicting feelings within me. I was afraid for Mara; I didn’t want her to have to feel the pain that I was going through. But a part of me wanted Mara to accept. Let her get a taste of the medicine I’ve been taking.

Mara wasn’t a mean girl, no, not at all. She was popular, yet not extremely popular, had good grades, was mostly kind, and was definitely pretty. Long curly brown hair cascaded down her back, and sky blue eyes watched the world. But she was skinny and short, like me, which could only make my feelings conflict more. To Rocky, Mara was going to be Kiri all over again.

They call me Kiri. My friends say it was because in preschool I couldn’t say my full name, Kirsten, and I could only say “Kiri”. The name just stuck.

I am small, a mere five foot two at the age of sixteen. Everyone always thinks I’m thirteen or fourteen. Being thin never helps either, then some people think I’m anorexic. But I’m not. Most say I am pretty, though. I must be since Rocky courted me into his life. He always told me that he liked my long golden-blonde hair and jade-green eyes that look like a cat’s. He called me “Kitty”. Ugh, I can only shiver whenever I hear it being spoken.

I still wonder why Rocky chose me. I’m not popular, I’m definitely not smart, and I don’t participate in a lot of things. Yet he still chose me, the midget. Rocky is so big, tall, and muscular. He’s got dark skin with a mess of black hair on his head. He’s the quarterback on the football team, and he’s even got great grades too. (Then again, he needs them to stay on the football team.) His real name is Ronald, but everyone calls him Rocky. And then his eyes, those hollow brown eyes. Oh God, they haunt my dreams…

I blinked. Mara and Rocky were walking away, Mara hanging off of Rocky’s arm. Step one of seduction, complete.

I cringed, slammed my locker door, and walked the other way.

---

What?

I stared at the blackboard and the set of math problems we were supposed to complete. None of it made sense to me, not a single problem. Luckily they were just practice problems and wouldn’t be graded, so I wrote down a few random answers and waited for the teacher to go over them.

I looked around the room at my classmates. My best friend, Sarah, was next to me, scribbling away. I glanced at her work. Nope, it still didn’t make sense.

Next to her was the football coach’s son, Leo, only the second-best on the team next to Rocky. I think he was mumbling about a certain football play, and he was writing a few of them down instead of doing the math problems.

Everyone else I either didn’t know or knew vaguely. My eyes danced around the room, watching people work, talk, or read. My eyes set on another pair. They were grayish-blue. One eye winked at me.

What was his name? Dirty blonde hair, tall… Oh yeah, Matt.

He tried a smile on me, straight white teeth trying to shimmer their way into my heart.

My eyes only returned a glare. No one was going to work their way into my heart anytime soon.

He looked shocked and scared at the same time. I didn’t care. I turned back around to the teacher ready to go over the problems.

“Hey,” Sarah nudged me, “what was that all about?”

“What?” I asked, trying to concentrate on the first problem.

“You and Matt Wolfe just totally made eye contact!”

I rolled my eyes. Sarah could be such a ditz sometimes. “Let’s all freak out!” I said, my voice thick with sarcasm.

Sarah’s grin stayed plastered on her face. “C’mon, Kir, I heard he’s really nice. Ever since that horrible break up with Ro-”

I glared at her, my fists clenching and my stomach giving a sickening jolt.

“I mean, you know, you need someone to heal you.”

“Please, I’m not going out with anyone for a long time,” I retorted, “I need some time alone.”

“Just go out with him once! You might surprise yourself.” Sarah looked ready to dig into a new hook-up mission.

“No. Now please, Sarah, if I don’t pay attention I’m going to fail the next test.” I turned my gaze back to the blackboard.

Sarah sighed. “Whatever you say, Kiri.”

---

By the time the bell rang to dismiss the students I still didn’t get it.

Screw it, I thought to myself, throwing my books and binders into my backpack and slumping it over my shoulder. I shut my locker and began walking to the buses.

Matt sent me another glance as I walked past him. I shot him another death glare along with the finger and continued walking. I didn’t even turn around to see his reaction.

I stomped onto the bus, sat in the very back seat, and fumed at the overly-happy people, including Mara, that walked onto the bus. Rachel Parker sitting next to me didn’t help my mood either. She was the most overly-happy of them all. Sucks for me, since she seemed to think I was her friend.

I wanted to death glare them all. Here they were, going along with their happy-happy joy-joy lives while I was here, sitting inside of this misery and these scars that will never go away. I wanted to slash their ignorance the way he slashed me-

“Hi, Kiri!”

I winced and hesitantly said, “Hi, Rachel.”

“Oh my gawd, I have the greatest gossip! Wanna hear?”

“Not really.”

“Well, I’ll tell you anyway!” She giggled and leaned over to whisper in my ear. I could smell the faint scent of coconut perfume. It stank. She was wearing an Abercrombie and Fitch shirt and mini skirt, along with shoes that must be deathly painful to walk in. It must’ve looked weird, someone like her sitting next to a girl with a gray sweatshirt, raggedy jeans, and dirty white sneakers. She then told me what I already knew, first glancing at the curly-haired girl, and it killed. “Mara Jenkins and Rocky Fitzgerald are going out! Isn’t that a riot?”

I didn’t wanted to slash her ignorance, I wanted to slash her. Instead I let my anger bubble inside of me and I calmly replied, “Yes, I did hear that from someone earlier today.”

Rachel looked surprised, yet also disappointed that she wasn’t getting an “O-M-G! REALLY!” reaction. “Really? But this is the latest gossip…fresh from seventh period…”

“Sorry,” I said, shrugging, “I overheard a couple people talking. Couldn’t say who they were, though.”

She pouted, turned around in her seat, and decided to tell someone else.

I stared out the window as the bus began to move. It was starting to rain and I could see the tiny droplets stick to the window, disrupting a spider that was just starting to spin its web in a corner. I sighed, knowing I had been that spider. I had started to make a great life for myself. I was going to play sports, my grades were getting better, and everything was peaceful and quiet with family life. Then he had to come and ruin it all. My web, my perfect web, supposed to catch all of the bugs - my troubles, was ruined by the rain - Rocky. And so troubles slipped through.

I could feel a crying spell begin. Tears were forming behind my eyes, and I tried everything stop them from falling. But there was so much churning inside of me. My anger, their ignorance, Mara’s mistake, failing that math test, my scars…

The first stop came, luckily it was my stop. I tried to hide my face beneath my hair as I walked down the aisle, tons of eyes on me. When I got to the front Mara stopped me.

She held out a little white box that I knew all too well.

She opened it.

“Want a mint?”

I knocked the box out of her hands, spilling the little round mints everywhere, and ran off the bus.

---

I always tried to take advantage of when I was home alone. I only had about an hour of this. Once Mom, Dad, and my two brothers, Patrick and Brendan, got home, everything was a mess.

I dropped my backpack on the floor outside of my room and immediately ran to find Julius, our Australian Terrier, my hero. He saved me from Rocky, our little Julius saved me!

It was Brendan who named Julius, after Julius Caesar, because we knew that he should be treated like a king. Or something like that. But I have grown to absolutely love Julius, especially after Rocky. He’s the only one who knows my full story. I told him everything. Because he will never slip the secrets to anyone. And he’s my crying shoulder too.

I cuddled with Julius on the carpet. And I cried, so hard. And he licked me and licked me and licked me and my tears away, and I just held onto him and cried.

My eyes were red and stinging by the time my crying spell passed, and Julius was asking for a walk. I put on my brand new raincoat and grabbed his leash, heading outside.

It was absolutely pouring rain as we walked on the sidewalk, trying to avoid puddles and mud. Julius was such a regal dog, he didn’t care for getting dirty.

“Hurry up, Jules,” I said to him, “It’s getting cold out here.”

It was only a few second later when he went over in the grass and did his business. I sighed in relief and shivered a bit, the rain starting to soak through the jacket. Cheap, I thought to myself, figuring it was probably bought at the Salvation Army or something. Mom, always trying to save a buck or two.

I heard an annoying voice from behind me. “Do you always have to watch your dog take a shit?”

I turned around to meet my neighbor, Alex, who I had known my whole life. I chuckled a bit, seeing he was on his bike in a t-shirt and jeans, soaked to the bone. “And do you always have to ride your bike in the rain without any sort of a raincoat, probably catching a cold? Your mother must have a fit.”

“Yeah, she does, but not like I give a fuck.” He grinned. “Besides, I don’t get sick.”

“Right, just like that time one year when you caught that bad case of pneumonia,” I shot back, stooping down to scoop up Julius’s crap with a bag.

“Oh, come on, that was, what? Two years ago?”

“Yes, I believe so. Never get sick, eh?” I tied the top of the bag into a knot.

“Well, after the pneumonia I built up a strong immune system, so now I never get sick.”

I rolled my eyes. “Please, Alex, S-T-F-U. Or I’ll set Julius on you.”

“Oh really?” He whistled to the dog. “Julius! C’mere boy!”

Julius trotted over to Alex and let him pat his head. “Ha, some bodyguard you have, Kiri. He’d probably go over and start licking a terrorist.”

I smirked. “You’d be surprised,” I said.

“Sure, sure, whatever, Kiri.” He gripped the handlebars of the bike. “Say, whatever happened to that guy that used to hang out around here? You know, your boyfriend, the quarterback kid?”

And my mood was just starting to turn around! The sickening lurch in my stomach swirled me back down into remembering him, and I only muttered, “We broke up.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Alex replied, putting one foot on a pedal, getting ready to speed off, “He probably would’ve been a good bodyguard.” He looked up at the lightening in the distance. “Well, I better get going. I suppose to don’t want my mom to have too much of a fit. See ya, Kiri.” And with that he pedaled away.

He left me with my thoughts, still swirling around with my stomach, and they said, “If only you knew what kind of bodyguard Julius really is, and how he had to protect me from that quarterback kid.”

---

Mom had pulled into the driveway with twelve-year-old Patrick and nine-year-old Brendan by the time I got back. I groaned. Here comes the hell.

I walked in dripping wet and it didn’t help that Julius shook himself, spraying me with a fresh coat of rainwater. My mom gasped.

“Kirsten Margaret Walsh! What are you doing out there in the pouring rain without an umbrella! Oh my goodness, you are sopping wet! Change your clothes before you catch cold!”

I sighed, refrained from rolling my eyes, and replied, “Julius needed to be taken out. I didn’t want him going in the house.”

“But you didn’t even take an umbrella? Have some common sense, Kirsten!” My mother and father where the only people who called me by my full name.

I hid my devilish smile under my raincoat. “Well, I figured since this was a brand new raincoat that it would do the trick. Unfortunately it isn’t so ‘brand new,’ since it most likely came from the Salvation Army-”

“You stop that right now, young lady!” Mom looked both furious and hurt at the same time. “Now you march yourself right into the shower! And don’t track puddles in the house!” She turned around and led Patrick and Brendan into their rooms to begin their homework. As I finished taking off my wet clothes she called back, “And afterwards you start on your homework! You know the rules!”

I grumbled a few curse words to myself and stomped into my bathroom, turning on the shower and letting the steam rise. I tried soaking my worries away with hot water, but as always, it never worked. I could always see the scars on my body. And with the scars came the memories and regrets flooding back in one big whoosh. It almost had me hunching over in pain, the sickening feeling was growing so great in my stomach.

No one in my family knew what Rocky had done to me. All they knew is that he and I had a big fight, and I broke up with him. They nodded it off just like that, no questions asked. I let my wounds form into scars silently. I let Julius lick them. He liked the taste of blood. I don’t know why, but it helped me a lot.

I told no friends about it either. I assume Rocky told also no one. He always gave me this mischievous look ever since that day, as though he was going to come back. And I was so scared that he would. Even though it’s been over a month with no communication from him, I’m still scared as hell.

By the time I was finished with my shower I noticed that tears were streaming down my cheeks. I hadn’t seen them before because I was drowning myself in the water. I wiped them away and wrapped myself in a towel hiding my scars as I walked out of the bathroom, a cloud of steam following me.

Brendan walked up to me. “Kiri? Can you help me on this math homework?”
Before I could stop myself I yelled, “Do you really think I can help you right now?! I just got out of the shower, for Pete’s sake! And if it’s math I probably won’t be able to solve the damn thing anyway, even if it is fourth grade stuff! Besides, I have my own problems to worry about, no pun intended!” I slammed the door behind me, immediately regretting it, for I could hear Brendan’s heavy footsteps as he ran off to tell Mom. And Mom loved him.

“Smooth, Kiri, absolutely smooth,” I said to myself, putting my head in my hands. I choked back more tears as the scars on my hands touched my face.

Mom came stomping over to my room just as I had finished quickly putting on some clothes.

“Honestly, Kirsten! How dare you yell at your brother like that! You are going to help him with his homework, whether you like it or not!”

“But you told me that I had to do my homework,” I replied.

“I don’t care what I said! Do it!”

I could hear the garage door opening.

Mom sighed. “And now I have another one to worry about…” She ran into the kitchen.

I shook my head to myself, wondering when Mom and Dad were ever going to get divorced. They no longer loved each other, that I could tell. They fought all the time, mostly about bills and how we were not rich. Dad worked at a small office downtown for a very large company, but he wasn’t paid much. Mom worked as a housekeeper in other richer people’s houses, which didn’t help much either. We still kept on, we were still able to have this house and buy food and clothes. But to tell you the truth, the worst arguing was over politics. Having a Democrat and a Republican as parents, especially mine, it’s not pretty, especially around election time.

As the shouting began I walked into Brendan and Patrick’s room and mumbled, “Sorry I yelled at you, Brendan. What do you need help with?”

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After helping my brother and scribbling my own guesses at my homework, I decided to go to bed early. I did my evening routine and snuggled into bed, turning on some relaxing music. I tried to empty my mind of haunting thoughts, but of course, it never worked.

Just as I felt myself dozing off to sleep, my cell phone rang.

I opened my eyes and frowned at the little lights blinking off and on with the annoying ring-tone that I could never figure out how to change. I felt stupid, forgetting to turn it off, but I carelessly flipped it open.

“Hello?” I croaked.

“I will always be with you, Kitty, I will never leave you alone…”

I was frozen, absolutely petrified.

“Want a mint?”

I threw the phone across the room, shattering it into a million different pieces, his voice still echoing in my head.

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First chapter, what do you think? Suggestions? Criticism? Go ahead, review!