This is not a story about your traditional heroine. You know the kind I’m talking about - brave, beautiful, free-spirited, independent, not “lady-like.” Oh, believe me, the heroines of this story are brave and beautiful. They are free-spirited and independent. But not in the way you think.

When I say free-spirited, you probably imagine someone who breaks the rules, who runs free in the wild, who is not bound by simple laws of nature. But there are also hidden free spirits. Spirits who yearn to break free, who are running around just under the surface of what you can see and what you can feel.

I bet you do not realize, also, that the heroines I will be telling you of are independent. They seem so dependent on money, status, and such. But besides money and status, what have they to be dependent upon? For money and status are not truly dependable. In a moment it can all be taken away. The most important thing to be dependent on would be friends and family, would it not? These heroines, these ladies, are dependent on neither friends nor family. They are ladies; they are expected to keep up appearances for their friends and family both. A lady may cry in front of people, but only on the occasion of a death, and then only a few tears here and there. If they feel the need to cry for anything else, they must do it in the bathroom, and then only for a few moments, before once again coming out looking beautiful and perfectly happy.

The question we must ask ourselves, then, is why the ladies put up with it. We, the ladies, also wonder that sometimes. Why do we? I suppose it’s because we know no other way. We were brought up to live this way. We were brought up, taught that this was how ladies should act.

We were also scared. What if we suddenly did act differently? What if we decided to be bold and talk about what was really on our minds, such as the well-being of our people, of the commoners who cannot afford their daily bread? We knew what would happen. The other ladies would shun us. We would have nobody. We would be outcasts, not belonging anywhere. The people would whisper about us at balls and gathering. We wouldn’t be welcomed.

And that’s all that we wanted, really: to belong. And so we hid our real feelings, not knowing that every other lady was doing the same, not knowing that we all steal tears in the bathroom, not knowing that we are all afraid to cry ourselves to sleep, knowing that someone could come in at any time with an emergency, and then where would we be? And so we all hid.

I am going to tell you of a number of such Court Ladies. I am going to tell you of how everything changed. I, Twilight Rose, am going to tell you of the war that never was, that changed everything.

So listen closely, and listen well…

Ten ladies sat in a circle, sewing daintily and carefully, talking quietly.

“I heard,” began the redhead with dark golden eyes, named London Mae, “that you are being courted, Remembrance.”

The one with long light blue hair and pale green eyes blushed prettily. “Oh, yes. ‘Tis Sir Damien Seth.”

The other ladies sighed dreamily.

“Oh, but he is handsome,” one with light pink hair said, her jade green eyes which were her namesake twinkling.

“Yes,” agreed the white-haired one with the pale face and purple eyes agreed. This young lady was Twilight Rose. Me. “You are ever so lucky, Remembrance.”

The ten continued chatting about the couple for a few minutes, before London Mae excused herself to go to the bathroom. Once there, she cried softly into her hand for a few minutes before washing her face and leaving the bathroom, smiling brightly.

The other ladies did not find out about her secret love with her best friend from when she was young, Sir Damien Seth. And as Remembrance Ice cried half an hour later in the very same bathroom, no one knew of the one she truly loved, the one whom her father would not let her court, the one whom she talked to secretly at night: Jude Renn, the Queen’s favorite stable boy.

And no one would ever know, unless something was done. Fast. Because time was running out, and soon Remembrance would marry Sir Damien, London Mae would marry the foreign man that would arrive at the palace the next day, Jade would secretly love the foreign man but then marry the Prince’s cousin, Silence would be introduced to the Prince by Jade and the Prince’s cousin, and then marry the Prince, all the while having fallen in love with the Prince’s cousin, I would fall in love with the Prince but marry a foreign Prince, and one of the other ladies would marry another man but be in love with the foreign Prince, and the cycle would go on and on, until one day, someone wouldn’t be able to take it anymore, and would hang herself, or hire an assassin to kill her, so she wouldn’t have to commit suicide. Maybe, along the line, a lady might have been able to marry the one she truly loved, but it was very rare. A lady hid who she truly loved, for ladies were not to show emotions as deep as that.

Yes, the cycle is large, the cycle is complicated, and the cycle seems improbable. But it would happen.

I did not fully know the cycle that would happen, at the time, if we didn’t act fast. I suppose I knew it would happen somewhere inside me, but I chose not to acknowledge it. I was going to be a lady. I had to be a lady.

I didn’t realize that being a lady was so much more than I thought. I didn’t realize that we had all gotten the idea of how one was to be a lady completely wrong.

Oh, I would realize it soon, but would it be too late for me? For all of us?

I suppose everything first began one night when I had trouble sleeping (I seemed to be have been having a mild case of insomnia lately), and went to the stables to look at the horses. I secretly yearned to ride one like a man, instead of sidesaddle, but I was a lady, and so I could not. I loved horses more than anything, the feeling I got when riding one fast, even if sidesaddle. Ladies are not supposed to ride horses fast, but my previous horse had gotten out of control once and had broken into a gallop. I had, of course, screamed for all I was worth, but inside I was overjoyed with the feel of it. I was so free.

Which is why I always went to the stable when I couldn’t sleep, to see the horse who had lost control and made me feel free. I did not own it anymore, for I could not have kept it after it lost control like that. What would people think of me? So I bought a new horse, one that never lost control, and Tempesta, my pure black beloved horse, was put under the head Stable Boy’s care, Jude Renn.

I was a bit surprised to see Jude near Tempesta's stall at that time of night, but it wasn’t as if he wasn’t allowed to be there. I was, however, completely surprised when I saw Remembrance Ice standing beside him, talking.

“I love this horse,” Remembrance was saying. “What’s her name?”

“Tempesta,” Jude replied. “She used to be Miss Twilight’s horse, until she went crazy on her and started galloping.”

“I would love to gallop on a horse, riding it like a man,” Remembrance said longingly.

Jude grinned, his dark blue eyes twinkling. “I know, Rem. You are not like the other ladies. You want to ride a horse like a man, wear clothes like a man, talk like a man, act like man...why do you not just become a man?”

Remembrance laughed and playfully punched Jude in the arm. “Shut up.”

Jude stuck his tongue out at her and tossed his many-shades-of-brown hair girlishly. Remembrance laughed.

I was shocked. Beyond shocked. They talked with each other as if they were still children. We were 19 now - no longer children. If anyone found out about Remembrance and Jude, there would be a scandal. And Jude was a stable boy, no less. The head Stable Boy, but still. He was a commoner.

I was worried for Remembrance. I did not want her to be caught.

“Remembrance, what are you doing?” I asked her, coming around the bend. “You could be caught. There would be a scandal.”

Remembrance gasped. “Oh, God, Twilight! Please, please don’t tell I’ve been talking with Jude. I - “

I put a hand up to stop her. “I won’t tell, Remembrance. Don’t worry. I am just worried about you. What if someone found out? You would be shunned.”

Remembrance let out a long, low sigh. “I know, Twilight. It’s just - I can’t stand not being able to talk with anyone. You know, really talk, like when we were young, before we had to be lady-like and only talk about the superficial. I’ve been friends with Jude my whole life. You can’t expect me to just stop talking to him.”

I shook my head wearily. “We all stopped talking with our old friends when we turned forteen, Remembrance. It is what a lady does.”

“Do you remember when we were younger, Twilight? How we all used to play in the mud and ride horses as fast as we wanted and actually talked? Do you remember that? How can you not want that? How can you just let it all go?” Remembrance asked, eyes filling with tears.

“A lady must learn to forget,” I told her.

“What if I can’t?” Remembrance shouted. “What if I don’t want to? I hate being a lady, Twilight, I hate it!”

“We all hate being a lady, Remembrance,” I said sadly. “But what can we do, besides forget and go on with our lives?”

“What if we could do something more?” Remembrance whispered harshly, mindful of the sleeping castle after her outburst. “If we all decided to stop being superficial, stop being such Ladies? What if we changed the definition of Ladies?”

“You are living in a dream world, Remembrance.”

“I believe it is possible,” Jude said. “If all the ladies joined together, who then would there be to shun them?”

“If I believed there was any hope for every lady to join together, I would cast away any knowledge of “ladies” I previously had,” I said. “But no other lady would help.”

“And every other lady is thinking the same thing,” Remembrance said.

“Exactly,” I told her. “None are foolish enough to hope for everyone to join together. There will always be someone to shun us.”

“If you had someone to join everyone together, someone who is incredibly well-liked - “

I cut Jude off. “It will never happen, Jude. I am sorry.”

“Please, Til, just don’t tell anyone about me and Jude,” Remembrance pleaded, using my childhood nickname.

I nodded my head. “I will keep your secret to my grave. But, Remembrance, are you not being courted by Sir Damien?”

For I had just realized she was, in fact, being courted by him.

She nodded. “I know that. I like him, I really do, but I do not love him. And do not worry, Til, Jude and I are only friends.”

I nodded and left, ignoring the sadness in her pale green eyes, knowing I would not get any sleep that night.