time collapses
under the weight of your eyes
diving into mine,
it’s our pool of love

and those words
were prompted by me alone
no one else has mapped your soul
with the care I have

life is the sun
of the lunar eclipse you create
you block all that’s loaded on my plate
you are water, all I need

your changes
are the one I’ve evoked
time stood still as you spoke
of all the variations of us

my senses fail
they betray me and sway me
to believe that air isn’t what it seems:
that it holds you

this is a disclaimer about the raw emotion that was behind this poem that I couldn’t put into any other words:
those were my nights. those were my tears that I cried when another hiatus was well under way, that was my faith that I held onto despite all the odds, my hope getting up just to get dashed down and somehow believing that there was good to come of it before it even came around or was even in sight. those were my ideal vacation destinations, my memories pasted inside my eyelids, my words written every single night about the same soul, my words stored up to weave into stories, our talking that lasted through the night and into the early mornings, not yours. that was my childish desperation to be everything they needed even when I was crushed underfoot, my leaping measures to become the better person they wanted, my focal point for everything I experience. they simply just can’t be the center of two universes, eventually our paths will collide if we keep revolving around the same thing. that is my aching for the goodbyes they never said, not yours. those are my rants about all of these things that I never really planned for them to read, my memories resting in a trail behind me in every place I’ve visited since I knew of their existence. my knowledge of their soul that I’ve just been waiting for them to say and then as simple as that, they did, those are my words meant for me and me alone, I’m the owner of those thoughts that encompassed their soul and map out their heart and mind, these things I’ve known longer than they have or you have and that forever I’ve been willing to give anything to hear them admit and then I do because I’ve earned them with all these months of waiting. it is their respect that I’ve earned for myself, it is our mutual plateaus that we place each other on, I’ve earned this, that’s what so many don’t understand.