(A/N: This story is kind of a song fic, but not really because it’s long like a story. It’s based on the song by A Perfect Circle, and the chapters don’t have titles because I figured they don’t need them with the song quote at the beginning. Anyways, enjoy and please review.)

The Noose

So glad to see you have overcome them

Holden watched her from over his cereal, contemplating her new found personality; her demons long since gone...or so it would appear.

She bustled around the kitchen like a normal mother would, worried over lunches and what time the bus would come. It’s like nothing ever happened, or so she hoped. Trying to make amends for all the years of neglect; years of non-parenting were supposed go away with a few peanut butter sandwiches and boxes of grape juice that sported colourful characters dancing on the carton.

“Come on Holden, you’re going to be late,” she called to him in a cheery voice while shoving his brother and sister through the door.

He didn’t reply, but got up silently, abandoning his cereal as his slugged his knapsack onto his back, and made his way to the awaiting door and happy mother.

“Have a good day,” she said with a sympathetic smile, as if she understood what he was going through, as if she was trying to tell him that it wasn’t his fault.

He had to turn away before the memories got the better of him, leaving in silence as he followed his sibling towards the bus stop.

Patrick was twirling around on the bus stop sign with ignorant childish glee while Gloria just stood there and watched Holden as he approached her.

“Why do you hate mommy?” she asked curiously.

Holden was shocked by her blunt question, but didn’t show it. He took a moment to contemplate a response.

“I don’t hate her, I just...” but his reply was cut short by the arrival of the large yellow school bus.

Gloria was distracted immediately and skipped her way up the bus steps to greet her classmates, Patrick following with the same excitement. Holden got on behind them, scoping out a seat as he approached the top step.

No one seemed to notice his arrival; the bus was crowded with obnoxious children and teenagers of all ages, all too busy to see him step aboard. He grabbed an empty seat fairly close to the front and starred out the window as his house passed by.

He thought about Gloria’s question. Did he hate his mother? One half of his mind told him that he didn’t, she was his mother, and no matter what she did he could never hate her. But the other half didn’t know...maybe he did hate her.

Memories flooded into his mind, memories of all that had happened, all she had done...or hadn’t done.

Joseph’s image penetrated his mind, he couldn’t quite see his face but he knew who it was, he would always know. He closed his eyes against the thoughts, but the image still remained in his mind.

Joseph called to him without words, like in his dreams, urging him for help...

Holden shook the images out of his mind, Joseph was dead, and it was too late to help him now.