Breath of a Chance

Damn.
I messed up again.
I wasn’t supposed to fall in love,
Especially not with him.
Oh heart, why did you give in?
Why’d you have to ignore My mind?
You know damn well that it is wrong,
And yet there are no boundaries to which you yield.
I just can’t believe It took me so much time to realise that,
In the blink of an eye,
It was him all along.
Yet I cannot speak a word of this to him.
I don’t even stand a breath of a chance.
Bloody heart! You treacherous fiend!
Why did you have to make me love him?
My conscience chastises you, silly heart of mine.
It makes me feel so dirty and iniquitous!
I am too old, too lethargic and cynical, Too embittered by life, rejected by the rest of the world.
Why should he even think of me as a friend?
I know full well what I’ve gotten myself into, and There is no way out.
When every little thing reminds me of him, when Every reminder reminds me of how pathetic I am,
I think I won’t survive this mad infatuation.
Yet I miss him, I miss him so much, like I’ve never Missed another person before.
My heart, it reels and lurches, my stomach’s in knots At the mere thought of him.
There is nothing decadent, nothing impure, about him.
He retains that childish folly, yet he has a mature way about him.
I remember going through that in-between stage.
His beauty may not be subliminal, but I would rather have him than All the Adonises in the world.
Well, I’ve been shot down by Eros, struck down by his arrow,
And there’s nothing I can do about it,
Even though I don’t stand a breath of a chance with him.