on nepotism, necromania, and the hovering lobster

disjointed,
you give me strings that i may move.
satisfy my cravings,
put me in the mood.
watch me dance disjointedly.
the name that you anointed me
has died too soon.

forgive me, mother,
dissect father.
(count the bullets in his brain.)
i love you, love you once upon a time.
you hold me softly, wasn't i just fine...?
(insane.)

i am unique, i am the chosen one.
please don't speak, i'm not in need of one
word from you, thought you believed in me.
never there, you only needed me.
stick the stinger further down my throat,
and i guess that's all we wrote.

enamored.
confused, don't cut the strings away.
i like the feel of you,
the memories we play.
can't you see how awkwardly
i count the steps you force on me?
(they end too soon.)

forgive me, brother,
unfit mother.
(faulty wires save the pain.)
i knew you, i knew me once upon a time...
i need held softly, make-believe is fine.

(fine one day --
the next day,
let's go insane.)

you're not unique, you're not the chosen one.
listen, please, you're not the only one
speaking codes, no one believes in me.
love them more, nobody needing me.
place the poison deeper in my brain --
is this the way you make me sane?

(count the raisons in my cereal,
all the steps i took to school,
all the times i needed you --
looking through, i'm losing you,
am i the only one you fooled?)

foolish, foolish me -- i live insanity...

i am unique, i am the chosen one.
please don't speak, i'm not in need of one
word from you, thought you believed in me.
never there, you only needed me.
stick the stinger further down my throat,
and i guess that's all we wrote.

last drop of blood, that's all that's written,
i'm forgiven, loved, forgiven,
mercy cries for me, does mercy cry for you?

please remember me, for i have died too soon.