Talent Show

Part I:

Fix my skirt

Primp my hair

Remove my necklace

Adjust my skirt again

I'm laughing it off

But I'm nervous as hell

Taking my seat in the audience

I try to focus on the other performances

It sucks being close to the end

It sucks doing this at all, I think

My fingers curved, moving constantly

Playing the memorized music on my air piano

Finally, our names are called, Anthony and I

I thought the time would never come

Suddenly I wish it hadn't

Walking past the stage to get to the piano

Remembering to pull my skirt down when I sit

Holy crap, the judges are so close to me

If I fell backward I'd land right in their lap

I can almost feel them breathing down my neck

My hands are so shaky and sweaty it's hard to move my mike

I look over at Anthony and he nods from the stage with a smile

I focus on the keys in front of me and attempt to swallow

It's so hard to breathe and I feel like I'm gonna throw up

Placing my hands on the piano, I try to remember what notes I start on

Then music reaches my ears, next a sour note or two

I'm messing up already and it's only the interduction!

My heart's beating so fast I think I actually skip a measure

Suddenly I hear Anthony sing, I'm up next!

I can't do this! I can't! A sharp intake of breath that doesn't reach my lungs

But my fingers don't stop and my mouth opens, the phrase on my tongue

Oh God, why don't I hear my own voice? What's wrong?
The song continues, I'm powerless now to stop this disaster

My mouth dry, voice unsteady, whole body shaking violently, or so it seems

Lights are flashing, I can't see, can't hear, so cold

The keys in front of me become a blur and I hear more mistakes

"Close your eyes, calm yourself, focus on the music." My mind, a thought

I know it's what a musician would do but I can't make it happen

I'm so scared I actually almost scream when my foot slips off the pedal

3rd section, oh, I really needed music for this one! I'm so scared.

What have I done? I'm screwing up the words on the verses I wrote myself!

Terrible ending, I think I changed keys

I'd long ago lost track of Anthony, this is bad

A strange sound comes from behind, applause

Looking down I see my hands are shaking violently but raised off of the keys

Carefully I stand and with head down walk shamefully to my seat

My feet shuffle numbly, knees weak, I almost fall 4x

Sitting down I know what's coming, lay my head in my hands

Focus, focus, make it stop. As long as no one even mentions...

"Great job!" Nikki beams from beside me, pats me on the knee proudly

I think I really am going to throw up, "I've got to go," a whisper.

Did I actually speak? I'm up on my feet and through the door

Now I'm running, no escape, soon I'm in the bathroom…