They're Only Ashes, My Dear

Snip Five: Me too, You Know.

Timeline: A year and a half into their relationship thing.

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I tapped my pen against my shoe as I waited for him to come outside. It had rained only a few hours before and the gray clouds hadn't lifted yet, so water was seeping through my jeans and I had no doubt that my ass was going to have mud on it when I stood up. I would have tried to care about it, but my mind was too occupied. I couldn't do anything but worry and wait and get my ass wet while I looked like an idiot.

I knew I was being one, too, but I figured that I had a decent enough reason to. It wasn't common that someone I had been dating for a year and a half told me they loved me after I had offered to make them a sandwich and then left me with a quick kiss on the cheek. His eyes had been a little wide and I wondered if he hadn't meant to say it. Probably not. I could only hope that he had really meant it.

My pattern went on for a while (angst, tap pen nervously, look up and over to see if their front door had opened, and repeat) before I couldn't stand it anymore. What 'it' was, I wasn't so sure about. I didn't even know if Javier was aware of the fact that I was waiting for him, since I had completely chickened out on knocking on the door.

Part of me was hoping that he didn't know and wouldn't come outside to the awkward stuttering excuse for a person I was going to become if he did, even if the topic never came up. I wanted it to, though, because really, it wasn't a conversation that we needed to avoid. It was going to be hell and I'd stick my foot in my mouth more than once, but-

…he had very poor timing. Just when I was going to plan out what to say to him, he realized I was there. Tensing, I listening to the door creak open and shut the same, before a set of steady footsteps got closer to me. I set my pen down somewhere on the grass, blindly looking for a place that wasn't going to make it sink in mud, and started to stand up. A glance over my shoulder showed me that he was shaking his head (and shirtless), so I lowered myself back down without shaking too much. It was probably for the better, because having my wet ass exposed wasn't going to make it any more comfortable.

His feet appeared next to my right knee a few seconds later before he sighed, nudging my leg with a foot so I knew to move it. I unbent it and curled it up to my chest, creating a nice place for me to rest my chin. I did, continuing to stare out at the street as he continued to move.

"Hey." He said quietly, fingers curling over my shoulder to balance himself while he sat down next to me. It slid off as soon as he settled, but he soon placed it on the grass inches away from my hip. I let a small smile twist my lips and then turned my head to face him fully.

"Hey." He repeated, like he was waiting for me to say something back. My heart started to pound when my brain finally made the connection. I had only over told two people in my life that I loved them, and I didn't think my mom and Liz really counted. My mom was just my mom, after all, and most of the time when I said it to Liz is was followed by a question mark and I had done something wrong. This was…

He nipped at my exposed ear for a moment, nudging his nose against the skin above it softly, and god, I was trying to think and he was doing absolutely nothing to help that. Maybe that was his point, but I didn't even want to think that he was nervous about my response. That would've meant that I had given him some idea that I didn't return the feeling, and I wanted to pound his head against something for being so stupid, or do the same to mine, or something that would've shown how dumb both of us were at times.

"I…" I started before I realized I had, faltering because my brain just wasn't catching up. It was turning out great already. His nudging stopped too, almost abruptly, as if he wasn't expecting me to talk. I went on, "…um, me too, you know. A lot."

So I took the lame route. But he wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed his face against my shoulder, basically sagging against me in what I assumed was relief, so I figured I had done okay. Well enough, anyway.

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A/N: I don't have much to say...sorry it took so long? I know this wasn't exactly what I planned on writing, but it's okay. I've been working on this freakishly long one-shot so I haven't been doing much else (if anyone is interested about it, there are snippet scattered around my LJ. Pointless to most, but saying it just in case for others), and I just didn't feel like it. If you find any typos, as usual, please point them out. Besides that, I plan on editing and continuing 'Shattered Light Bulbs' soon (like a week.) Yea...that is all.

Thanks to: animedorkette, paledaisy78, Naomi Shemer, Digital Dream, Lanku, VampireOfDeath113, K. T. Wood, Clare Greenleaf, murky, Jeoal, Nikerym 'Ksherea, Natasha, Longfur, rainbowskye, Stracciare, chinotto, mechante fille, GossamerHeart, Cabillito de Diablo, UnfortunateFortunate, Kitsune Luver, emerald raven, and xX bleu x fey Xx.

Reviews would be loved.