Untitled

June 22, 2005

July 2, 2005

Part 1

Kora

Field Of Innocence

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything

Prologue

I watched as Jenissa Carlo walked outside. You would never expect that this girl would get in so much crap that it deceased her such a young age. Sixteen was when Jenissa died. Yeah I know right “sweet sixteen” are you kidding me or what? If Jenissa’s life was a sweet one at sixteen it really did rain cats and dogs ha, ha.

I watched as Jenissa walked outside of school on that very last day of eighth grade. We had just graduated and can I tell you it was a damn retarded graduation and it was our second one and we have never expected one so terrible. It rained that morning and I was pretty lousy about it and said oh well it’s going to rain so I have to get my nice shirt back on with the long sleeves and the nice tight jeans I was going to wear right back on. I regretted this however. It rained sure but at first it was as hot as hell and I mean that hot. It was a scorching hot day that kids on either side of me in our chairs were complaining about.

“Damn it,” said one kid Jesse Louse. Jesse Louse was a tall black kid who Jenissa fancied. She envied me for sitting next to him. Wow really he isn’t even that good looking. “It’s a scorcher damn a god damn scorcher Kora.” I looked at him a little annoyed at why he always seemed to be talking to me and then I looked over at another group. I’m in the L section of the alphabet due to my wonderful name Kora Livingston. I was stuck sitting right next to Jesse Louse and Wanda Lightin. I didn’t like Wanda and she didn’t like me so we were on fair ground. But one thing I hated the most was where my last name was placed. I was basically right in the middle of the alphabet and believe you me that was no hallelujah.

“Guess we’re stuck with it,” I said wishing then that it would rain but then regretting my ten minutes later granted wish.

Graduation went smoothly enough I don’t feel like talking about it because half of it was hell.

Now it’s after the graduation and I’m just standing here watching Jenissa walk away with her black dress clasping to her slim tanned body as the sun loomed above her in what I sort of felt was a determined way to make sure Jenissa suffered. Oh the sun got his wish of course. Or should I say the sun got it’s wish. You may ask why I’m blabbing about the sun well it’s because what more is there to blab about after a BS graduation. I guess I’m kind of trying to look on the bright side of things but not doing so well. I’m sure you’ve probably had the feeling yourself but we’re not talking about outsiders we’re talking about myself and Jenissa.

My Mom came out rolling a stroller containing my one-year-old sister Katie in it’s contents.

“Come on Kore,” said Mom. “Let’s get us an ice cream.”

“Can Jenissa come?” I asked. Mom shook her head.

“Mother daughter time,” she said.

“Mother daughters time,” I corrected.

“Whatever,” said Mom laughing with her head held back looking up at the sun. Gee why is my mind leading back to the sun? Well Kora maybe it’s because you’re uh sweating your butt off ‘cause of that big yellow circle in the sky and you can’t take your mind off it. Well this was it but I wasn’t really interested in these factors. I looked around and saw Mom turning right and I turned right with her. I said hello and goodbye to several people as we moved through the large mobs of people clustered around in the midst of all the excitement. Some people congratulated me and I the same.

“Hey Kora.” We were about to reach our car-a Beetle convertible-when Tim Stanton decided to trot up to me.

“Hey Tim,” I said. Tim Stanton was an alright kid. I liked him in a way I myself will never understand. Why he was talking to me now I will never ever know.

“Where are you off to?” he asked.

“Oh we’re going to get ice cream,” I said happily not even realizing the fidgety way of his hands. Mom noticed and smiled.

“You can come and get some creams with us if you want,” she offered.

“Sure,” said Tim. His face brightened and then I realized that he did like me. I was a little nervous but hey. A guy in the summer is like a sanctuary in Hell ain’t it? Ah well let’s forget that happy crappy. I walked over to our car again and helped Katie into her car seat.

“My Mom’s going to drive me,” said Tim. “I’ll see you there!”

“See you,” I called smiling.

“Aw,” said Mom as she started the engine to the little red beetle. “What’s his name Kore?”

“Tim,” I said.

“Oh,” said Mom. “Have you started calling him Timmy yet?”

“Oh shush it ma,” I said. Mom laughed and we drove to the ice cream place. Great romance don’t you think? Ice cream parlors. Yeah I think it is especially when the guy lets you lick his ice cream. Yeah well our day went so well I completely forgot about Jenissa.

The next day I remembered my best friend. She called me around 1 in the afternoon.

“Hey Kora,” said Jenissa after I said hello five seconds before.

“Hey there Jen,” I said.

“What’s up there?”

“Nothing really besides the ceilings and the air fans and the lights and the…”

“Oh shut up,” said Jenissa.

“Okay,” I said.

“Doing anything today Kore?”

“Nah,” I said. “Tim’s out for the week. He’s goin’ campin’.”

“Camping?” said Jenissa. “Tim? Tim Stanton? Please Kore don’t tell me you’re dating him.”

“I am,” I said defiantly. You may be asking why the hell Kora are you telling such a retarded story about two little girls who talk about geeks like Tim Stanton and Jesse Louse? Well I’ll tell you. We’re about to go into boiling water because thanks to my big mouth saying how we should go to the bookstore and start summer reading I get my very best friend killed.

“You’re a geek too then,” said Jenissa.

“Are you with dorky Jesse yet?” I asked

“Well you could say that,” said Jenissa.

“Ew,” I said. I began making gagging noises.

“Oh you’re just jealous,” said Jenissa defensively.

“Blah,” I said laughing.

“Hey what do you want to do the rest of the afternoon?”

“Umm,” I said trying to find a reasonable place in my mind where we would not run into old classmates. I wanted to be through of them till next year in high school. “How about a bookstore?”

“You seriously need to ditch Tim Stanton,” said Jenissa. I’m guessing at that moment she was rolling her eyes. “He’s infested you with unknown diseases.”

“Ha, ha,” I said. “But we seriously need to get started on them. The sooner we start the sooner we finish.” And the sooner she dies, is what I think now as I lie in bed each night thinking what could have happened if we had went to six flags the next day or even have gone to a place like Jillian’s or something. It would have been so much better.

“Oh fine,” said Jenissa. “Point proven. I’ll have my Mom pick you up okay?”

“Yeah sure,” I said.

As I was heading out the door Katie’s sitter Veronica arrived.

“Hey Korey,” she said.

“Hey Ronnie,” I said striding out the door.

“Don’t call me Ronnie,” Veronica called after me.

“Don’t call me Korey,” I retorted. I got into the Carlo’s car and we drove to the bookstore.

We looked around and there were no real interesting books that we could really spot out right away.

“Let’s look in the horror section,” I suggested.

“I hate that stuff,” said Jenissa. “It scares me.”

“Your face does too,” I commented.

“That’s nice,” said Jenissa but she agreed to look in the horror section. I’ll tell you I haven’t read horror since.

We found a book called Sprite. We being stupid girls as we were thought that it was going to be about a soda can or something. But what could possibly have to deal with soda cans in a horror section. I never found out what the book was about. Jenissa never found the time in her heart to tell me. I know the name of one character and it was the only character I ever discovered in this book Sprite, by Josephine Moorse. I had always put it in my mind to call Josephine Moorse and tell her what trouble her book caused but I never really managed to get the courage out of me.

“This looks weird,” I said looking at the fairy on the cover. “Is the fairy’s name Sprite or something?”

“Who knows,” said Jenissa. “It might be some weird thing that they call the fairies. I don’t know but it sounds cool. I’m getting it.”

“Okay,” I said. Thankfully for my life I did not get Sprite. No I got Troy and It and just to be on the happier side I got The Lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. I knew it would be a dull book but I would read it anyway.

We took them home and I read It for the rest of the afternoon. That was a book that would take me most of the summer to read. It was exactly 1,138 pages and the sight of such a thick book was really what was scaring me.

I never really noticed that anything was wrong with Jenissa only because nothing really happened until tenth grade at sweet sixteen. I think it was because her character in the book was sixteen I don’t know I’m just guessing and you must understand that’s a pretty logical guess considering what happy crappy info I have. So now I think we’re going to zoom through time to two years later after Jenissa’s already read the book plenty of times to count………