Faded Memories

Faded Memories

Master Copy Part I (1-4 o4)

Azuri Elska Namaari

It’s been three years since that day. What day you ask? The day that time itself stopped. Not possible? Oh, it’s very possible, but you know when the past is most important… you can’t remember it. But then, when you want to forget it, it’s almost impossible. The feeling of images imbedded in your mind, the fact that you can’t forget them. The fact that history itself can never be changed by anyone, no matter how powerful or weak… Or can it?

“There are always consequences for what you know and in turn, for what you learn. Remember, what you are doing is dangerous without proper care and planning, so be careful.”

Sometimes, I forget what really happened. I know there’s a reason for me being here, on this island, but most of the time I don’t want to think about it. Remembering them…Thinking about them. Could they really be alive after what happened? Sometimes you can’t help but think about the past, about what could have happened if you had listened to the people that you called friends, no matter how close they were to you.

“Light, along with darkness will forever be eternal on Earth, but that doesn’t mean they’re equal in strength.”

They say you never forget the ones you love and care about, but what about your enemies? What about the people you never knew? How do you really know if you cared about them or not? Memories are the link to the forgotten past, however, the remembered past is what you fear the most in the end.

“Believe in second chances. If you give them one, they might give you one in return, which might end up saving your life.”

My memories of them… Are they real people or did I make them up? Is it possible to lose your own memories? At night I lie on the beach and stare up at the stars. I can see the big dipper above the trees. I look for other constellations, but I can’t seem to find them not even the little dipper. After a while I start seeing their faces within the stars. It’s funny… I still remember their faces.

“Mirai yori mo ima ga kanjin: ‘More important than the future is the present.’ What you choose to do now is what will change your future and possibly, the future of the world.”

They seem to be calling my name over and over. At first I thought they where calling for help, asking me to save them. But then, I thought, they might be trying to save me. Most of the time I can’t get their voices out of my head. They start as the faintest whispers, but quickly grow into yelling. Sometimes the yelling gets so loud that I pass out and think I’m back home, living the same old day-to-day life that I used to. Sometimes…it feels like I’m dreaming, but I soon start thinking…is this all some horrible nightmare that I can’t wake up from? Am I dead? Am I home? …Why? Why can’t I forget? What can’t I remember? I end up wondering if it has really been three whole years… And what’s with this guy’s voice in my head that won’t stop talking?!

“You’re not too lost to be saved from your own darkness. Your mind is your greatest weapon, so use it Seta.”

“Setasha…? Come on lazy wake up! We’re going to be late again!”

I slowly opened my eyes and yawned. This bed…these sheets…it all feels so…real…

The blond girl in front of me blinked and looked at me very confused, “Hey, you okay? You don’t look too good.”

“I’m fine Star…Hey uh…what day is it? …And what did you call me?”

She paused for a second and just stared at me, “Umm, I called you by your name: Setasha. Did you really forget what day it was? It’s Wednesday and if you don’t get up we’re going to be late for school again. We’ve already got Principle Vect mad enough as it is and I can’t get another detention this week.”

”I could’ve sworn you called me… No forget it. Give me a minute to get ready and we’ll leave.” I got up, changed into my school uniform and began to make my bed neatly.

Star just stared at me like I’d gone insane, “Setasha…what are you doing?”

I blinked, “Making my bed…is that okay?”

Star walked up and placed the back of her right hand on my forehead, “Well you don’t have a temperature…”

I couldn’t help but laugh. It felt so good to laugh again, “Star I’m fine. Forget it and let’s go.” I grabbed my bag and walked out the door. Star grabbed her bag and followed.

We got to the school and amazingly we weren’t late, in fact, we were a good two hours early. That’s when I remembered him: Shade. That blonde-haired-blue-eyed-jerk treated me like I was nothing, but I still liked him. Why? I’ll probably never now, he’s probably not even alive anymore, but I can’t get him out of my head, stupid football jock.

He walked up to us grinning as always and blocking emotions out of his eyes, “Hey Setasha, so I was just wondering. Would you like to go to a movie with me, as my date?”

I frowned not believing a word of it. Knowing the future comes in handy when the person you’ve got a crush on wants to embarrass you in front of the entire football team. Sadly, I said, “I’d rather die than go out with you, Shade.”

I caught him off guard and he let his famous emotion block falter. He looked into my eyes, trying to find the reason for me turning him down. At the same time, I stared into his eyes, not being able to look away. His eyes… It’s funny really, I think the only reason I liked him was because of his eyes. They were so blue and so unique… You can tell a lot about someone from his or her eyes. He looked so confused, helpless and…lost? Lost was definitely not a word I would have ever used to describe him. He looked worried… Like he knew something bad was going to happen… I shook my head and sighed, “Fine…you win.”

Just like that he blocked everything from his eyes and that grin reappeared on his face, “I’ll pick you up at nine. Oh, the rest of the team is coming too.” Then he walked away…

Star stared at me looking extremely confused, “Why do you look so sad? You’ve liked him forever! I thought you’d be jumping off the walls by now! Well… Courtyard at least.”

I just stared at the ground and sighed, “Sorry Star, I guess I don’t feel that good today. I have to go draw, I’ll see you in class later.” I walked over to the tallest and most secluded tree in the courtyard and sat beneath it. I pulled out my sketchbook and started drawing him. Damn his eyes… I couldn’t help but draw him; he’s just so perfect.

Within an hour, I had finished drawing everything, but his eyes. In my drawing he was laying on a beach with his hands behind his head. The first two buttons of his shirt where undone and he had no shoes on. I wanted it to look like he was staring right at me, but I had no idea how to draw his eyes…

I sat there for probably another thirty minutes just staring at the paper and then it hit me. I drew his eyes to reflect his personality, just like he had looked at me that morning, sad, confused and all alone, just like me. Suddenly, the bell rang and snapped me out of my drawing world. I looked at the large clock on the front of the building and sighed. I opened my bag and put the sketchbook back in it and went to class.

After school I sat in the courtyard, under the same tree I was at that morning and waited for Star. Star walked up as I was frantically searching my bag, “What’s wrong?”

I panicked, “My sketchbook! I can’t find it!”

Star just blinked, “It’s just a sketchbook Setasha, calm down. I’ll buy you a new one if you want.”

”No Star, you don’t understand! Shade can’t fin-“

“What about me?” Shade was suddenly standing behind me holding my sketchbook in his left hand.

I blushed. I knew his voice so well that I didn’t even have to turn around to know he had it. Even though I knew I’d regret it, I slowly turned around and couldn’t speak couldn’t speak. All I could do was stare into his deep blue eyes. For once he wasn’t grinning, but there was a small smile on his lips, “Looking for this Setasha?” He held up my sketchbook.

I just stared at him, I could barely breathe, “I…Uh…”

He laughed and held it out to me, “Those are really good. Ever think about being an artist?”

I blinked and took the book with a shaking hand. Did he just compliment me? But that never happened…at least I don’t think it did…

He just smiled at me… Then all of a sudden he tipped my chin up and pulled me closer. Our lips were less than an inch apart when all of a sudden everything turned white…

Did I mention how much I hate this island? It may have everything you need to survive; water, food, shelter, but it slowly kills you with your own memories. Almost like it’s rewriting the past and changing your future. Impossible right? Ha. See I’d say that too, but then why would I be having these…whatever you want to call them, but you certainly can’t call them dreams or nightmares. They’re completely different things altogether, just like the past and the future. Maybe they’re a combination of the two. Maybe it’s just like purgatory…I guess I’ll never know unless I get off this damned island.

“My whole world is spinning. I can’t tell right side up from upside down anymore.”

I walked over to the beach and just stood at the edge of the trees as a shooting star shot across the sky. I’d been to the beach at least a million times in the past three years, but for some odd reason it seemed different. The water sparkled under the rays of the sun as I slowly walked towards it. The sand was so perfect, so untouched, so…a footprint?

“Wish upon the falling star beneath the black sky above and wish for the one thing you want the most in the world. Then hold onto the wish for dear life.”

I knelt next to the footprint. It wasn’t really a ‘foot’ print; more like…a ‘shoe’ print. The design looked familiar and then all of a sudden I felt something on my shoulder. I jumped moving away from whatever it was and turned around quickly. My heart was racing as I stared at the sand. I saw two feet in Goth combat boots and black jeans. I looked up and blinked. It couldn’t be…

“Light or dark… I still can’t help thinking of her…”

The person, or should I say guy, ran a hand through his blond hair, moving it out of his face as he grinned and crossed his arms. All I could do was stare into those deep blue eyes… “Hey Seta…”

“Your eyes are the windows to your heart and to everyone else’s.”