Chapter 2: I’ll Love You Forever

I heard the woman yell that it was time to go shopping; so I got up and stepped out of my room. Lindsey was standing there, waiting almost.

“Her name is Cathy by the way. Or you can call her Mrs. Livingston.”

“Thanks,” I said and headed down the stairs.

“Are you two ready to go?” Cathy asked.

“Both of us?” I was confused.

“Yes, both of you. Lindsey is coming along to act as a second opinion. I’ve been told that my judgment isn’t that good.”

“Oh, okay,” I said and put my shoes on. I resituated my black and bright red hair so that it was hanging in my eyes. I liked it that way.

Cathy led us out to the car. It was a nice, brand new Saab. Damn these people were rich.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When we got to the mall we went straight to the big department store that was located at one end of it. The school uniforms consisted of black pants and a white shirt with either a red vest or tie. I opted to get both the tie and the vest. That way I could switch it up if I wanted to.

Then I picked out a couple of pairs of black slacks and when I saw the first pair in the mirror after trying on my uniform I took them off immediately. I pulled on a second pair. They were a little tighter. I stepped out of the dressing room. Lindsey brushed my hair out of my face.

“If your hair was a tiny bit darker it would match your uniform,” she smiled.

“Very funny,” I said and turned to Mrs. Livingston. I brushed my hair back into my eyes, “Can we go somewhere else for pants? These ones are to loose.”

“Okay, let’s buy the shirts and go get you some pants that fit you right.”

“Sweet,” I said. I didn’t mean to sound too excited even thought I loved to shop. I didn’t want them to know that. They might think that I was gay. I was defiantly not gay.

We headed toward a store with more of ‘skater/emo’ vibe, if I must use labels. This was the kind of store that I was used to shopping in.

I looked around until I found some decent black jeans and pulled them off the rack. I held the smallest size up to my hips. They would probably fit. I went into a dressing room and tried them on. They were a little loose in the legs, but they would do. I walked out of the dressing room so Lindsey and Cathy could see them. They both agreed that they looked good so we walked up to the cashier after grabbing a few more pairs.

“Tracey!” Lindsey said when she saw the guy behind the counter.

“Lindsey!” he said and hugged her over the counter, “Where were you today? I didn’t see you at school.”

“Yeah, I know. I stayed home because we got a foster kid today.”

“Oh that’s who this kid is right?”

“Yeah. His name is Jacob. He’s kind of quiet.”

“I see,” Tracey put out his hand. “I’m Tracey,” he said.

“I know that,” I sneered, “I’m not deaf.”

“Okay, sorry, my mistake. So did everything work out for you?” he asked when I set the pants on the counter in front of him.

“They were a little loose in the legs,” I said.

“Oh, well we have tighter pants if that’s what you’re looking for.”

“That’s what I’m looking for.”

“Okay then, follow me,” he stepped out from behind the counter and led me to the back of the store. He pulled out a pair of black, corduroy pants. The pushed them toward me, “These are some of the most comfortable pants ever made. I have like three pair of them only they’re in different colors.”

“Is that all the tight pants you have here?” I asked.

He shook his head and smiled, “No. We have more. That is if wearing chick pants doesn’t bother you.”

I looked down at the pants I was wearing, “Well I’m wearing chick pants now so I guess it doesn’t bother me all that much.”

“Super,” he said and led me to another section of the vast store. He grabbed a pair of black jeans, “Size one right?”

“Yeah,” I was kind of creeped out, “How’d you know?”

“I wear size threes and you’re a little skinnier than me so I figured a size smaller than mine would be sufficient. Besides, I’m really good at guessing people’s sizes anyways.”

“Weird,” I said and took the pants from him. He pulled out another pair of black size ones and handed them to me.

“These are nice too,” he smiled as I took the jeans from him.

“Thanks,” I offered a fake smile, “You can go now.”

I stepped into a dressing room and took my pants off. I tried on the first pair of pants that he had handed to me. They were comfy but they were a little too tight in the ass. I had kind of a girl butt so chick pants fit me better. I tried on the first pair of the girl pants that he had given me, but they were too tight in the crotch and too high in the waist. Then I tried on the last pair. They were perfect. I was excited; I loved getting new clothes. Especially ones that made me look hot. I walked out of the dressing room only to find Lindsey having an animated conversation with the girl-man, Tracey. Mrs. Livingston was looking at t-shirts. Lindsey finally looked over at me, but this was only after she realized that Tracey's gazed was directed at me.

“Aww! They’re so cute!” Lindsey was genuinely excited. I, on the other hand, was very confused.

Cathy turned and looked as well, “Those are the ones. They’re very nice.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Lindsey said, “They’re totally hot. I wish I could find a pair of black jeans that looked that good on me.”

“I’m sure you could. I’m guessing you look good in everything you wear,” I said back.

“Whatever,” she said.

“You could Linds,” Tracey butted in, “But they do look good on what’s-his-name. If he doesn’t mind me saying so.”

“He does mind you saying so, you queer,” I said and went back into the dressing room. I put my normal pants back on and walked out. Lindsey was glaring at me.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she was reminding me of my ex. Every time I got out of jail she would look at me like that. I had always hated it.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Tracey spoke first, “You know what? You’re an asshole. I thought that you were probably a nice kid who was just being stubborn because he was scared. I thought that you were just putting up a wall because you’re shy. I guess not; you’re just a mean, cruel person who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.”

“Thank you Mr. Therapist man. I think the same thing about you. Tracey equals dick,” I walked to the side of the store and grabbed a few more pairs of the nice black jeans and stepped toward the check-out counter. I set them down and waited for Mrs. Livingston to come and pay for them.

“I wish you kids would just get along,” she said as she placed her platinum card on the counter.

“Whatever,” Lindsey and I said in unison.

“Let’s go kids,” Cathy said and grabbed the bag of pants.

We walked out of the mall and directly to the car. I felt like a jerk. I should have just kept my mouth shut, no matter how much I had disliked that Tracey guy. I had been taken in by this family and I was already ruining it for myself. What a me thing to do.

“I’m sorry for acting like that,” I said with my head down.

“You should be!” Lindsey screamed. “Tracey is one of my best friends and you treated him like crap. Why were you being such a jerk?”

“I said I was sorry, and I meant it. I don’t have to explain myself to you,” I started to peel the black polish off my nails.

“And what’s with the queer thing? You don’t even know him! You had no right to assume that or call him that.”

“Believe me Linds, if anything, I know my rights. I know them very well in fact, and I do believe that freedom of speech is one of them. That means I can say whatever I want to,” I put my feet on the seat and busied myself with the red bandana around my wrist.

The rest of the car ride home was silent. When we pulled into the driveway there was another car there. It was an Audi TT. It was the same kind of car that I had last stolen, the one that got me sent to this place.

”Is this your husband’s car?” I asked. I wasn’t sure how I would react to having a father again. Mine had left a few years earlier.

“Yes it is. His name is Bill. He brought dinner home. I hope you like pizza.”

“I love pizza! I haven’t had it in such a long time. I hope it’s good,” I licked my lips and followed closely behind Cathy as she headed inside.

“I’m going to eat later,” Lindsey said as she stepped towards the stairs.

“Why honey?” the blonde woman asked.

“Because of what I said about Tracey. She doesn’t want to be around me,” I said.

“Righto Jake,” Lindsey said and pointed at me. She went upstairs after that.

“Well, I guess it’ll just be you, me and Bill,” Cathy said.

“Sounds good to me,” I said. Cathy showed me into the dining room.

“Where were you honey?” a dark haired man with glasses said. He looked really smart.

“We were out shopping. Jake needed his uniforms for school tomorrow,” she brought he hand to her forehead, “Oh shoot! We forgot to get him a suit for church!”

“You can get one later this week honey. Or I could take him one night after work. It’s not a big deal.”

“Okay,” Cathy looked relieved, “Thank you sweetheart.”

Bill looked at me, “So you’re Jacob—”

“It’s Jake. Please call me Jake,” I said quickly.

“Jake it is,” he chuckled, “So I hear you like Audis.”

I smiled, “Yeah. I see you have one. It’s gorgeous.”

“Maybe I’ll take you out in it one day. I’ll let you drive it if you want.”

“Oh no,” I said, “I’m not allowed to drive until I’m at least eighteen.”

“Of course. I forgot about that,” he said, “Oh sit down. Have some pizza,” Bill flipped open the pizza box. There was a beautiful pepperoni pizza inside. I sat down quickly and grabbed a large piece.

“This looks so good!” I said and took a big bite.

“It is. They have some of the best pizza I’ve ever tasted at this place.”

“Mmmhmm!” I took another large bite.

“So I know you stole a car, but I also understand that you’ve been arrested several other times for different things. What kinds of crimes have you committed?”

I swallowed the food that was in my mouth, “Well, there’ve been a few other cars that I’ve stolen, shoplifting, breaking and entering, drinking, indecent exposure, drugs, smoking, I’ve hit cops, sworn at cops, vandalism. You know, all that normal teenager stuff.”

“Wow, you’re a busy boy. And you’re sixteen, right?”

“Fifteen,” I corrected, “And yes, very busy. I didn’t go to jail for all of them though.”

“I figured no. you’d be in juvenile hall then, wouldn’t you?”

“Well I should probably be in jive now, but thankfully I’ve had some nice judges. Besides that, my brother would never let the authorities send me there. He was there for a while and said that he would never with it on anybody.”

“Is it that bad?” Bill asked.

“Apparently. He said he almost got raped there. I know he got beat up pretty bad once.”

“That does sound bad. I’m glad you didn’t get sent there. You seem like a nice kid.”

“Not really,” I chuckled.

“Why not?” the dark haired man asked.

“I don’t know. I just have a bad attitude. I’m not a very agreeable person. I’m also kind of selfish. I like getting my way.”

“Oh,” he appeared to be surprised. He looked up at me after taking a big bite of pizza, “so what was the indecent exposure thing about?”

“I was just streaking. It wasn’t anything too horrible. I just didn’t know that the cops were right around the corner. I guess I was just lucky enough to have them be right there.”

He laughed, “Sounds like it.”

I finished another piece of pizza, “So I take it you’re not going to ask me about my family or why my mom gave me up?”

“I guess I didn’t think it was an appropriate thing to ask. I mean you can talk about it if you want to, but if you don’t that’s perfectly fine with me.”

“Okay,” I guessed that sounded like a politically correct answer. I was becoming curious about him. “What do you do for a living?” I asked.

“I own my own graphic design company. We do things for Coke and McDonalds and other big corporations. I also do a bit of free lance on the side. You know, stuff just for me.”

“Really?” that was insanely cool.

“Yep.”

“Can I come to work with you sometime? I love graphic design!”

“Sure, why not?” he smiled, “From the looks of your school records you like really like art as a whole.”

“I do. It’s one of the only things that really spark my interest. That and math. It’s sort of a weird combination.”

“Not really,” Bill said, “We do a lot of math in graphic design. At least in the computer part of it.”

“I know,” I said.

“So did you do graffiti back in your old city? You said you got arrested for vandalism.”

“I did a little bit. I would have done more if I had been able to buy spray paint. Why?”

“Just wondering. I was just thinking about our old shed in the back yard. There’s a lot of space and I can bring home big boards from work. I’ll get you some spray paint too, if you’re interested that is.”

“Seriously?” I was excited.

“Yeah,” if you want I can turn it into a studio for you. You’ll have to help of course, but when it’s finished it will be a space all for you.”

“That sounds amazing. I’d love that!”

“Okay then. We’ll get started on it this weekend if you want. We have to clean it out before we start to remodel it. There’s a bunch of junk in there right now.”

“Speaking of junk, I have to go unpack. May I be excused?”

“Certainly,” he smiled and I got up.

I trudged up the stairs and went into my beige room. I set my bright pink guitar up in the corner of my room. It looked silly next to the off-white walls. It reminded me of how silly I must look in this house and how silly I would look in a catholic school. I didn’t even like Catholics. Maybe I could get kicked out. Then I’d have to go to public school.

I started to pull my clothes out of my tattered duffel bag and saw a picture float down to the floor. It was a picture of me, my mom, and my brother. We had gotten it taken last Christmas. We looked so happy. I started to cry. How would I survive without them?

“Is that your family?” I heard a voice ask. I turned around and saw Lindsey standing in my doorway.

I wiped my eyes and nodded, “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry about being such a bitch today. You didn’t deserve it. Tracey says sorry too. I was on the phone with him earlier.”

“I did deserve it. I was being a huge jerk. It’s not your fault,” I turned back around and stared at the photo. Lindsey sat down next to me.

“You miss them, don’t you,” she said.

I started to cry even harder, “If I wouldn’t have been such a fuck up I would still be at home. I ruined it for myself.”

She wrapped her arms around me, “Shh, that’s not true. You’re not a fuck up. You made some bad decisions, but they still love you. You know you ended up here for a reason. Maybe you can fix things.”

I pulled away, “What are you talking about? You hate me. You don’t want me here, none of you do.”

“Whatever Jacob. I heard you talking to my dad. He hasn’t said that much to me at one time since I was ten. And that art studio? He would have never done that for me. And we both know that my mom adores you, even with your flaws. She offered to let you change your room. It took me years for her to let me change mine. And I don’t hate you.”

I sniffed and wiped my eyes, “You don’t?”

“No,” she smiled, “Do you think I would be trying to make you feel better if I did?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you just have a sick sense of humor and you’re doing this as a way to lead up to something horrible.”

She hugged me and kissed my temple, “No, I’m not that big of a bitch. You’re my little brother now. I have to look out for you and stuff. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. And I’m so glad I got a cute one with nice hair,” she giggled some.

“You think I’m cute?” I could feel myself blushing.

“For a boy, yes. You kind of look like a girl anyways. And you have to appreciate a boy who’s not afraid to get a Monroe and snakebite at the same time. You have to be pretty good looking to pull that off.”

I covered my face, “You think I look like a girl?”

“Yeah, a little. You have girly features. You’re lips and nose. It’s not a bad thing though. You have a very nice face,” she smiled and ruffled my hair. She stood up, “I’m going to go down and eat though. I’m super hungry,” she rubbed her stomach.

“Okay,” I said, “I have to finish unpacking anyways. I still have a lot to do. Where’s the bathroom?”

She pointed, “Yours it through that door. You don’t have to share a bathroom in this house.” She smiled, “Can I see that picture of your family?”

“Sure,” I handed it to her.

“Your mom is young. And you look a lot like your brother? That’s who the other guy is, right?”

“Yeah. That’d be my big brother. I’m going to miss him so much. And my mom is young. She had my brother when she was fifteen and she had me when she was nineteen.”

Lindsey nodded and flipped the picture over, “Jake, I love you so much and I’m sorry I had to send you away. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know you’ll live a better life wherever you ended up. Don’t forget about me and Andy. We’ll miss you. Love, Mom.”

I was crying again. I hadn’t even noticed that she wrote something on the back of the picture.

Lindsey handed the picture back, “I think I have a small frame in my bedroom if you want to put it on your nightstand or something. I’ll bring it to you in the morning. I think you need some time alone right now.”

I nodded and she left. I decided to save my unpacking for the next day. I changed into my pajama pants and crawled into my new bed. I ended up crying myself to sleep.