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Chapter Eight: Little Brother
Naimisa, don’t abandon me. Don’t be deaf to this silent prayer, I have not the strength to speak. I beseech thee, use your mercy. I’ve never been so afraid, and I know I shouldn’t be, when I have your protection.
“Lay him down here.”
Naimisa, I don’t want to die.
“It might be too late.”
I feel so cold, my eyes are blinded by tears. This weight on my chest is making it hard to breathe.
“I swear to Hector, brother, if you die I’ll kill you myself!”
What a cruel world, Naimisa, you put me in. Have I done what I’ve come to do? Is this what you wanted out of me? I’d rather not have been born, just to die now. I’ve not yet lived, not yet helped a soul. I can’t be finished. Just stepped out of the cathedral, and by one weak wind I’m blown over.
“I’m afraid I’ve done all I can, he rests in the gods’ hands now.”
Have mercy.
“They say it’ll rain today. At this rate, the river will flood for sure.”
“I asked about the kid, not the weather.”
Big Brother, are you so concerned about me? Couldn’t be, I felt myself die. Everything went black, I was weightless. Still so numb.
“Sometimes hope is a wicked thing.”
“Don’t preach to me, sister.”
Why isn’t my body listening to me? Head so heavy, need to turn to see.
“Are you okay?”
“Of course I–“
“Not you, you buffoon!”
Is that you sister? Push my hair away so I can see you. Your eyes are so big, were you worried about me too? See all the problems I cause. Eyes don’t close, I’ve not seen enough. Don’t return to the darkness, “No!”
“Shh, it’s okay little one. Drink this.” The warm liquid pored over my lips, did I get any? I’ve not the control to tell.
“Sister, pray for me. Pray to Naimisa for me.” Sleep is coming on. “Say you’ll pray for me!”
“I have been, little one. I have been.”
“No!” I try to push them off, try to seat up, but the pain is too great.
“It’s just me, little one.” That hot hand on my chest, pushing me down, lifting my hips. I am being unwrapped.
“S-sister, I’m so sorry, I didn’t... I can explain.” A chill crosses my abdomen.
“You’re secret is safe here, brother. I’m here to heal you, not to reveal you.” The glow from your hands illuminates the dark. My stomach is sewn like a repaired doll. I can smell herbs for the first time, and it makes my head dizzy. “You’re lucky your partners are so stupid. I figured at least the magician could read your energy. Not that that matters any more.”
“Doesn’t matter?” Your hands stop winding the bandages around my middle.
“When you are stronger, I am sure Big Brother will inform you.”
“Can I see him now?” My arms are lifted to put a cotton nightgown over me. You are so gentle. I am not fragile. “Please, I’m strong enough!” Already I am sinking back into the pillows. Why do you smile like that? Believe me. You push aside the curtain in the doorway, looking back with a frown, and disappear. Big Brother’s deep voice carries through the walls. I can hear his footsteps.
“Are you cold?” He pulls up my blankets to my chin like I was a child. “You had me worried sick.”
“Did sister make you drink potions too?” Finally, a smile. Big Brother’s bushy eyebrows are so expressive. Relief made his face soften.
“Luckily not.” He leans in, his hand next to my side, and shifted all his weight onto the bed. My useless body dips with the mattress. “Just between you and me, I don’t really think she knows what she’s doing.” Why is my heart beating so fast? Was sister true? Did she tell him?
“Tell me about Nostopher. Where is he? Was he healed too?” Such a heavy sigh. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“We were lucky you were even healed at all. Galiene, the main healer, wasn’t here. All this town had to offer were her assistants she left behind.”
“Left behind?”
“They say her powers were requested to help a town in the south. There were claims of a magical plague killing villagers.” The weight is gone and my body is again manipulated out of my control. “None of the healers here could heal the spell cast on Nostopher. They just barely managed to save you.”
“And Nostopher...?”
“When you were out... We made a decision.” Big Brothers paces the room, his long stripe of a shadow following. “Nostopher left with Crossoco to find the healer. He said he was just a dead weight other wise. I couldn’t talk him out of out, and well, it’s hard to get far in an argument with someone that can’t talk back..”
“And Leiden?”
“Sampling what this town has to offer.” His pacing stops. All I hear is breathing, and feel the weight of his eyes on me.
“Don’t analyze me like that, Brother.” I can hear his clothes sliding across his thighs and be bends down. Turning my head , and I’m staring straight into his eyes. The back of his hand touches my forehead, and my stomach clenches tight, my toes curl.
“Are you okay?” There is a dimple between his eyebrows now, and his mouth is pulled tightly straight. I nod my head, afraid of a crackle in my voice if I dared to speak. “You are truly a blessed child then.” His laughter causes a warmth to wash over my face. “When your guts almost spilt out on the floor, sister almost lost her lunch.”
“Always causing trouble, I guess.” I suddenly become painfully aware of the pulse in my stomach. “I’m tired now.” Somehow I manage to look away from you. Do you frown?
“Sleep well, kid.” The candle is blown out and I find it easy to fall into a deep sleep.
I was calf deep in a stream, a white robe dangling from my waist and twisting in the water. The pebbles I stood upon were pale gold fish, writhing in place in attempts to swim. Little bubbles escaping their gaping mouths. I feared I could almost hear their cries. A strong current tilted me, and the shore seemed a hundred paces further away than it did a second before.
A wall of tall birch trees lined the shore, and above wispy clouds swirled across the sky as if they were flying through time. Beams of sparkling light cut through the trunks. In such a scene of tranquility, I could not explain the anxiety building in my chest.
The wind carried the laughter of children, but I saw no one. Finally daring to tread across the fish, I made my way to the shore, my vision only focused on my feet. They looked as if blue marble.
“Munera.” My name. I have not heard my name since I’ve joined the brotherhood. “Munera, why do you hide?”
I stood on the stoned shore, real stones that I couldn’t feel under my feet. I couldn’t see myself anymore, my dream lead me adrift. My vision racing through the trees, everything a blur. It stopped at a grave. Red geraniums were planted in front of a marble statue of a kneeling woman. The voice spoke from behind the petrified veil.
“Why do you disown yourself from the name I gave you, Munera?” Red petals fell and flew in the wind. They were carried back to me at the shore. “I lost your brother. I’ve lost you. I’m all alone. Is this how you honor your mother?”
“Stop!” I heard my voice cry. A gale ripped through the trees and the flowers were left bald. “Stop.” So weak this time.
“Your life is a lie. You should have stayed with me.”
“No! I couldn’t.” The wind was carrying me away. Through the trees. I was at the grave, could see the statue crying. “I would have remained weak like you.”
“You left me to die.”
“I left to save myself.”
“Selfish child, what would the order say if they heard you now?” A chilling laughter stormed in the air. A shadow of a creature running through the forest. “Would their arms be so open to you then? What about that brother of yours. Would you be able to look him in the face?”
I could feel it, whatever it was, getting closer. My vision was spinning, the creature was jumping. Children were screaming, I was screaming.
“Mother!”
“No, its me, Leiden. Sheesh, what are they giving you? Because whatever it is, I want some.”
“It is daytime...” More of a question than a statement. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Long enough to worry us,” Big Brother answered from the door way. “Alert sister he’s finally up, boy.” Leiden left, grumbling and shuffling his feet. “They told me you would be asleep long, but I didn’t think it would put us a whole day behind.”
“Why am I the last to know everything?” I sat up, to test the waters. Only a slight pain. My fingers disappeared under the gown. Still bandages, but dry. No blood, that is a good sign.
“Oh good, the spell has lifted.” Sister clapped her hands which let off little sparks from her finger tips. Leiden looked over her shoulder almost impatiently.
“So, do we get to see it?”
“See what?” My voice so tiny, my hands pushing back the blankets.
“Your war scar.” But sister pushed him and brother out of the room. She waved her hands as if to say ‘men’.
“How was your sleep?” She was so calm and uninhibited as she started to strip me. I almost confessed that I could do it myself, but instead I told her about my dream. “Sorry, little one, but that was partially my fault. I had to put you to sleep, or else my magic wouldn’t harvest enough energy from you to heal you properly. Hallucinations are a side affect, I’m afraid.” She squeezed my naked shoulder. “Lets unwrap you, shall we?”
Your face lit up like a child just given a gift. I can almost feel the healing power you generate absorb into my skin. Slowly, your tattooed fingers grace across my middle, circling, collecting the gauze in a bundle. We’re both studying the skin revealed, and soon the tip of a pink raising scar appears. Was that your deep intake of breath or mine? Soon the whole scar is revealed, a jagged connection of memories of teeth biting into me. My fingers trace the new puffy skin. I looked on, but I couldn’t believe I was looking at myself. The pain was there, but so distant.
“I will give you some herbs, add them to hot water and drink it at meals. It will help, but you have passed the worse already. Now your friends will get off my back.” You hand me back my monk robes, mended and washed. I’m left to my own privacy, and change slowly, but quickly enough to be finished by the time Brother and Leiden reenter. Brother told me we had things to discuss. Over dinner, I pleaded. My stomach felt empty, and Leiden smiled, maybe from remembering his missing friend.
“So we continue to Plum Grove?” I asked around a mouthful, too hungry for manners. Leiden makes pig noises and I blush.
“I’ve been thinking, tallying things up over the past few days.” Brother pauses his eating, as if to put all his focus into what he is about to say next. “I decided we should hire a boat and ride the river through the plains. There are too many patrols on the streets, and even though we don’t have Nostopher with us, I want to play it safe.”
“How will we pay for that?” I ask in a quiet voice, and one of the sisters overhear and laugh. My face heats up again.
“Do you think we would not help you? Our money is your money!” More hearty laughter. Brother smiles at me and goes back to eating. “We will put the information down in our next letter to Galiene, so she will be able to tell your companions.”
“Wait!” her sweet voice called. “I’ve made these, these necklaces for you.” Her hand unclenched to uncover little stones with holes strung through leather stripes. “I’ve spelled them to protect you from demons.” A cold stone was placed into my palm, and I gave her a blessing and kissed her auburn hair. “Be safe, all of you.” The sisters waved as we left their courtyard and onto the cobblestone road leading from the secluded convent to the village.
I was spared from carrying the bundles of beef jerky and drink the sisters gave us, something Leiden brought up constantly. Until he got a scolding from brother. The trek to the waterfront was tiring, but I sat with Leiden as Big Brother tried to make arrangements for a boat.
“Man, you’re so lucky.” He informed me.
“Why is that?”
“That scar! All the girls will fain when they see it.” He patted my back, causing me to winch. “You, my friend, have it made.”
“I assure you, I won’t be causing girls, or anyone, to fain anytime soon!” I turn to study the water to hide my burning cheeks from him. I wish I could hide my feelings more easily. I can feel his laughter more than hear it.
“I have to respect you Little Brother, I don’t know if I can do it. Or not do it, rather.” A pebble splashes into the river, and I turn back around. Now it is you that hides your face from me.
“Strong faith and a strong will is all I need.”
“Don’t you ever get lonely?” Why have our voices dropped so? We hide in whispers now.
“I suppose. But I am always filled by the power of the gods. I have their love in me.”
“Is that enough?” Another pebble cast into the waters.
“I am spared from the snare of temptation. There is not much to long for and fill my dreams during the night at the cathedral.” When have our faces gotten so close? I pull away, and it signifies the conversation is over. Silence until Big Brother returns. A ragged man follows him.
“Say hello to Gus, boys.” Leiden nods his head, and I smile and say hello. Gus seems not to care as I introduced Leiden and myself. “Yes yes, now lets get to the boat. No saying where Lucan is now.”
The journey was smooth sailing, as they say, hindered only by Leiden’s bouts of seasickness. I sat with him near the edge, enjoying the spray of water hitting my face. My hand rested on his back as he hunched over the rail. Occasionally, I would pull his long hair back over his shoulder to keep it from getting soiled. I was relieved. This saved myself from anymore conversations that could be incriminating.
Clouds cloaked the sky, making it hard to tell if it was really getting late or about to storm. We were close to the docking city just at the edge of the plains, and sat below deck in case of any possible rain. A meal was made of the jerky and the drink was toasted to the kindness of Gus. Gus was a man of few words, but he was true to those he said. The time getting to the plains was cut in half thanks to him. I don’t know what pace I would have set if we walked, but it would have only set us back more.
The city was named Golden Peak, mostly in irony of the flat ground stretching into seemingly eternity. Prince Lucan would have to pass though this city onto the main road that followed along the White River, which Brother kept a watchful eye on the whole way. We were spared from any inns, and made our way to the town’s temple.
The darkness made a clearing of the streets, and few stood in the town square. A large clang of bells signaled it was only a few hours past dinner time. As we climbed up the steps to the temple, the first drops of rain fell. Slowly the smaller doors carved out of the huge wooden entrance opened, and we were welcomed with warm hearts. I let Big Brother do most of the explaining, and soon we were filled with more food than we can bare and nice beds to sleep in.
The head monk spoke with us, saying that the prince had not passed, because he had planned on entering the Gold Peak Cathedral to see some native relics. We were to wait until his arrival. I requested a letter be sent to Galiene, and the monk only nodded saying ‘of course, of course.’
The rain grew harder, drumming a fast pace against the roof and walls. I dared not go to sleep, not yet. I slipped my shoes back on and wondered the halls for the alter room. I passed the monk’s garden, protected by a porch lined with columns, a fluttering torch attached to each support. A few other monks passed by, too deep in conversation to worry over me. At the end of this opened hallway were steps leading to a door glowing with the colored light of stained glass. I opened the door.
A few monks and villagers sang in prayer. Smoke of incense of a burial procession filled the door. My legs were suddenly giving way before me, and I sat down before I could fall. To think I was so close to being the body covered in white clothe. The body to be cried over. A woman in black passed, nodding at me, and I weakly spoke a blessing out of routine. Was she a sister, mother, wife? Did the sky cry for her tonight?
“And why do you join us tonight, fellow brother?” A thin, elderly monk pulled me from my thoughts. He had a white peach fuzz face, spotted with age.
“I, uh, I request to make an offering to Naimisa, if possible, Brother.” I tilt my head in your presence, my senior.
“Anything is possible. Come along.” I follow bleakly, the mood of the prayers around me taking their toll on my spirit. You, old one, are unaffected. I see your smile in the torch light. What has life taught you? Or is your heart forgotten? Into a room with a marble alter, carved into the likeliness of a leafless tree. Dried flowers, herbs, meats hung as offerings from the branches. Even prayers written on paper leafs, begging the goddess for mercy on loved ones. “From the vase are the flowers grown in the gardens by the monks. Brother, take one of these for your prayer.” Nods and blessings, and we part ways.
I take one of the white flowers and tie its wet stem to a branch still bare. Softly, I kneel onto one knee, my hands finding their place over my heart.
“Naimisa, I can not put into words my gratitude. You have blessed me, breathed your life into my lungs. I will not give this life away wickedly or selfishly. By your will, I will not waste what you have given me.” Pulse against my palm so soothing now. “I will not forget your mercy, I will let it guide me. I will use the strength to reach my goal at the end of this journey. Continue to have faith in me, oh loving goddess, Naimisa.”