ACT I, SCENE I

(SETTING: Mayor’s manor)
(LIGHTS UP: Father and daughter seated for breakfast, sipping tea)

SAMANTHA
Hello Father, how was your day?

MAYOR
Fine, fine, thank you.

SAMANTHA
I’ve been meaning to ask you...

MAYOR
Mm?

SAMANTHA
Well...Oh, never mind.

MAYOR
Samantha. That is not polite. Finish what you were about to say.

SAMANTHA
Oh..Well...I was about to ask if I could please take part in this year’s talent show at my school.

MAYOR
(Frowns)
Samantha...

SAMANTHA
Oh Father, I understand how you feel about the media possibly showing up and getting in our business again, and me disgracing the family, but I’ve been practicing!

MAYOR
(Sternly)
Practicing.

SAMANTHA
(Hurriedly)
Oh, only for myself, of course. This was only a suggestion. However, if you don’t consent--

MAYOR
Which of course I do not.

SAMANTHA
Oh. Yes. I completely understand. And agree.

There is an awkward silence in which the characters sip their tea

MAYOR
(Brightly)
Oh, yes. We have barely discussed terms of your birthday arrangement!

SAMANTHA
Didn’t we talk about this over supper this last night...?

MAYOR
Oh pish, that was merely a diversion to turn your mother’s attention from the topic of my hair.

Pats bald spot

SAMANTHA
Oh.

MAYOR
So. What did you have in mind?

SAMANTHA
I thinking that maybe we could go to Six Flags this year. As a family.

MAYOR
(Frowns)
Well. I quite thought our collection down in the library was quite sufficient.

SAMANTHA
(Laughs nervously)
Oh no, Father. Six Flags is a place. It’s an amusement park.

MAYOR
An amusement park? What in God’s name would you want to go to an amusement park for? Aren’t you plenty amused as it is?

SAMANTHA
Oh, of course, Father. But just for my birthday. See, I’ve never been there...

MAYOR
I see. Well, what sort of place is this Six Flags. With what do they.. amuse you with?

SAMANTHA
Oh Father! It’s so fun! They have all sorts of things; roller coasters, water slides, a safari ride --

MAYOR
This place sounds genuinely barbaric. A safari ride... We’re not going to Africa!

SAMANTHA
It’s quite a respectable place, Father. And it’s not in Africa. It’s only a few miles from here.

MAYOR
Well that settles it then.

SAMANTHA
(Excitedly)
We can go!?

MAYOR
I was quite sure that you would understand that as a no. This place is nowhere that a future lady should be going to.

SAMANTHA
But Father--

MAYOR
Do not interrupt or argue. Furthermore, I cannot imagine the media’s reaction after one of your - what are they - rolling coast rides. You are prone to severe car sickness, you know.

SAMANTHA
(Quietly)
Oh. Yeah.

MAYOR
‘Yes’. ‘Oh yes’. No respectable young lady says ‘oh yeah’. Anyway, I was thinking more along the lines of a banquet party, where I could invite a few friends of mine. Maybe you could meet a formidable bachelor.

MAYOR winks and excuses himself

Exit MAYOR

Tears spring into SAMANTHA’s eyes as she watches her father exit

---

Author's Note: I thought this up two summers ago, and actually put it into a more legible form last summer. Do tell me you enjoyed it! :pleads:

The actual part with BOB comes into play in two more scenes.