And then she comes

She comes with beauty

She comes with grace

She comes wild

With glory

With temptation

With the stolen breath of a thousand strangled angels

She comes

She comes

And she comes with love

Dancing as the firefly does in the midsummer evening

Nails clicking chilled gray marble

She comes

She smiles

Ivory shining malevolence

A flash of saffron eyes

Holding the sun that hangs fat and ample

Calling me home

And still she comes

And still she comes for me

Don’t ask me why.

Don’t ask me why a goddess of life and death

Of serenity and chaos

Of deception and sincerity

Has come to me

Do not ask me why I embrace this delirium

That she comes for me and me alone

And do not ask me why I do not do my job

And why my sword rests on the marble

Instead of between her ribcage

I do not know

Worse yet, I do not care

And that fills my thrashing heart with dread

She sees this

She laughs at this

And still she comes

And I must wonder

Who is this creature?

Who is this monster that forces

This righteous warrior for the gods to his knees

Every night when the sun deserts the earth

Who is this that sings soft ballads of devotion

Only to abandon her disciple in the dark

Leaving him writhing through unholy hours of the evening

Twisting in the sweat soaked furrowed sheets

Screaming at plaster walls

With terror

With lust

With outrage

With sorrow

With love

Who is this?

I do not know

I do not think that I want to

I do not want to feel this way

I do not enjoy this feeling of naked emotion

I no longer wish to pursue this hollow dream of glory

I no longer dream of that prized head on a platter

I wish to no longer dream of her at all

And it is then

Only when instead of blood

I long for peace

When my heart stops crashing

Against my ribs as if it were suicidal

It is then

When the screaming stops

And the sheets no longer thrash

When lungs cease to franticly scream for air

When Lady Peace is almost at my side

It is then

And only then

She comes

Again.