Insecurities

Is it wrong to feel so insecure?

That maybe you’re friends aren’t really your friends?

At times when I’m with them, I feel like I don’t belong

That I’m not wanted, or that I’m a third wheel

But I stay loyal, hoping that one day,

One day they’ll notice me, or at least show

Signs that they value me that I mean something

Something other than a simple friend who’s not very special

A friend who’s tried to give a lot,

Not asked for much and not gotten much either

Today I walk on, searching and searching for

The perfect friend valuing even more

The people who come close to being that person

Still hoping that my other friends will open their eyes

Look around and see someone

Someone who’s been there to help

Doing her best to ease obstacles in the way and giving support

Not asking for much in return

Just some recognition and being valued

And not getting much

Being ignored and left out or never completely being filled in on things.

So is wrong to feel this insecure?

I’ve known them for close to half of my life

I shouldn’t be feeling like this

And yet I still do

But I also still hope