I woke up early Sunday morning- perhaps due to my natural sleep rhythm and the fact that I actually fell asleep fairly early (for a Saturday night). But after contemplating on turning over and just going back to sleep, I realized I awoke for another totally different reason.

Tiff was up and about, and despite the fact that she was most likely barefoot and therefore nearly silent, I felt her presence slide out the door with nary a click upon closing. I pondered this for a moment before jumping up and hastily throwing on some clothes and then running out the door also, only to throw myself into the door next to ours.

“Pancakes?” I yelled as I stumbled into Linx’s apartment. It was an interesting change for once to see him jump, spatula in hand. Haha bitch, now you see why we’re pissed at you for doing that to us- I’m pretty sure that Tiff and I both have dulled reaction times since we no longer even notice him busting through our door.

“It’s a good thing it’s me sitting here and not like, last night’s sexual conquest or else this would be really awkward for the both of you,” Tiff said, who was sitting at Linx’s table with my hoodie on. She was trying to balance two knives between the tines of a fork.

“Okay, two things,” Linx said, as he flicked water at the stove. The empty pan sizzled as Linx turned to grab a stick of butter. “First off, Tiff, I told you not to tell Lucky since if you guys had a fight to the death over food, I’m sorry, but he’d win. Second off, I think it’d be more awkward if you were the conquest.”

“Can we not cross that threshold, thanks,” Tiff quickly said.

Linx raised an eyebrow, “You started it.”

“Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes,” I chanted as I seated myself next to Tiff, who gave me a curious look.

“What are you so cheerful about?”

“Pancakes,” was my decisive answer.

“Holy shit, someone shut that kid up,” Linx said from the stove, and then addressed me, “How’d you even know? I didn’t expect you to get here until I started cooking and the smell wafted over or something, but I didn’t even do anything yet.”

I shrugged. “I’m awesome.”

“I didn’t tell him,” added Tiff, finally putting down the utensils to help herself to the orange juice on the counter next to the fridge. She poured out three cups and brought one back for me.

Linx started to whistle a happy little tune as he skillfully busied himself with the cooking. This was a semi-normal event for us, with Linx making breakfast and me busting in midway on a Sunday morning. During the summer it was almost every Sunday, but for the past month or so it’s all but stopped and I have to admit that I kinda missed it.

I mean, Linx’s kind of a fuck up in all aspects dealing with what people would label as reality- like his avoidance of continuing his college education, his low paying hobbyist job while he still lives off of his earnings from his previous ‘job’ (of selling drugs), his defiance of traffic laws, his nickname (Chester equals Linx how?), and his fat ass cat who clearly loves me more than him. But- BUT, this guy makes the best, fluffiest, saliva inducing pancakes I’ve ever consumed.

And that is why he is a respectful human being in my eyes.

Tiff says that he is surprisingly a very all around competent cook (I guess you’d have to be if you somehow whip up a meal from the contents of his fridge- which pretty much consists of beer, bacon, unidentifiable leftovers, a box of baking soda maybe a small carton of milk and rum), which may or may not have to do with the fact that his grandparents used to run a Chinese restaurant. But the last I heard about that was Linx saying how he used to just do ridiculous things (like teach himself stunt driving) with his first car when he used to deliver for them during highschool. Also, last time I checked, breakfast pancakes were not a Chinese cuisine.

By now I sort of wished I did wait until the midway point to come here because it finally caught up to me that it was before noon on a Sunday; I got real tired again real quick. I started dozing off, my head on the table, as Tiff and Linx chatted over the sound of sizzling butter. I was pretty much dead to the world until three pancakes landed on my plate and I shot up, wide awake.

“Fucking sweet,” I said and scrambled for the syrup, which Linx dangled out of my reach until Tiff grabbed it for herself. And then I had to wait for them to fight over it themselves, Tiff finally winning, and then came Linx’s turn for the syrup, and finally it came around to me, and by then my pancakes were no longer steaming, those fuckers.

I was close to inhaling the second round of pancakes (an additional four from the three that I began with) when I started to slow down and take it easy, starting by listening in on the conversation around me.

Linx: ... not like Gabe knew the difference, right? Jin definitely didn’t. And Sabo’s just fucking blind.

Tiff: Probably not. Guys tend to pay less attention to detail.

Linx: Woman, we don’t have time to do that. Psh, shit.

Tiff: (eye roll) Sure. Do you have work today?

Linx: That I do. Why, you need a ride?

Tiff: No, I’m off today. Yeah, bitches...

Linx: Whatever, I only- Oh, by the way, (looks at me) speaking of which, guess who I saw last night.

Me: Wait, are you talking to me?

Linx: Yeah.

Me: Um, I dunno.

Linx: Cole.

Me: Who?

Linx: You know, Cole.

Me: Who?

Tiff: You idiot, remember that guy that punched you in the face? C’mon now.

Me: Oh. OH! Fuck, I remember that guy... And then what?

Linx: (scoff) Nothing. We like, saw each other from the other side of the parking lot and had a stare down, but that was it. He’s not stupid, he knows I’d fuck him up. And besides... I think when I smashed in his window that night... (coughs) Yeah, I think he blames that one on you too.

Me: What? Wait, how do you know?

Tiff: You smashed what?

Linx: Well he didn’t try to punch me in the face. Pretty much, everything wrong that’s ever happened in his life, he’s making it to be your fault.

Tiff: Linx! What’d you do?

Linx: Smashed his window as we were leaving. ... Again.

Me and Tiff: Again?

Tiff: That doesn’t help-

Me: Wait, did he say that? Did you actually hear that come out of his mouth? Is my life in mortal peril now?

Linx: Well let me remind you that we’re all in this together.

Tiff: And by ‘all,’ you mean the two of you. You guys are retarded and you’re both gonna get shot.

Linx: And what, like you-

The door catapulted open, and this time the three of us jumped in surprise. I nearly gagged on the mouthful of pancake in my mouth.

“Thanks for waking me up, guys!” Tomo stood indignantly in the doorway.

Linx blinked, “Tomo? What the hell?”

“Wait, where were you sleeping? I didn’t even know you were here,” Tiff said.

“I was on the couch,” Tomo sniffed, as she came over and grabbed a plate. “And I knew you guys had to be here since both Tiff and Lucky’s shoes are sitting there next to the door,” she continued as she made a move to grab the last stack of pancakes. True, neither I nor Tiff ever bother with proper shoe wear whenever we come by.

“No way, bitch, they’re mine,” I snarled and dived towards the remaining stack with my fork.

“Oh,” Tiff said, probably feeling bad that she didn’t even realize Tomo had crashed with us last night. Though, to be honest, I also totally forgot about her, so it’s not like it matters.

“Linx!” Tomo shrieked as she attempted to bat away my fork- her silverware dueling skills left much to be desired, “Make Lucky share!” We had successfully ripped the entire stack in half, which no doubt pissed Tomo off more since she was one of those people that liked to make their food look attractive before eating it- you know, one of those people who go to restaurants during their vacations and end up taking more pictures of their food than anything else.

Linx looked at Tomo before glancing at Tiff (who merely shrugged and leaned back), clearly wondering why he was the one called out and not Tiff. “Now, now, children,” he said instead, his attention already shifting. He let out a languid yawn and stretched, slouching down in his seat.

It was Tiff who punched me in the shoulder, “You still have some on your plate!”

Tomo, the winner this time around, gave me a disdainful look before wrapping her arms around the entire plate and pulling it towards her.

“Whatever,” I said, “It looks gross now anyway.” We had pretty much ripped the entire thing to shreds. I went back to my own plate and continued with the consumption of my own pancakes. Which, by the way, I had been cutting into perfect triangles before consuming it myself, and I continued with careful precision. Impeccable.

She sent me another glare, which I ignored.

“Are you leaving today?” Tiff asked, “You have school tomorrow, right?”

Tomo nodded, pouring copious amounts of syrup over her shredded pancakes. “I’ll probably take the bus around three or four. I was just here since a friend of mine wanted to have her birthday out here, but there were too many people crashing at her other friend’s place- who I don’t even know anyway- so I just came back here.”

“Nobody cares,” I sang to myself, looking under the table to see Linx’s cat rubbing up against my foot, and realized much too late that I actually said that out loud. I’ve started one fight with Tomo already in a span of thirty seconds and she’s still pissed about that. I know this because she attempted to kick me, but since I just so happened to be looking under the table anyway, I dodged it easily. I told you, don’t fuck with her food.

I quickly got up, rinsed my cup out, and poured myself a glass of milk, using that as an excuse to chill by the fridge.

“Oh, well,” Tomo hotly said, “what were you doing last night?”

“Nothing. Running away from you.” Of course she’s bringing this up. Tomo’s possibly the most vindictive person I know, and that’s saying a lot since I’m a pretty vindictive person as well. Actually, not one person sitting at that table now isn’t not vindictive.

“Really? Who was that girl you were with?”

Fuck, I almost forgot about that. “Just a friend.”

Tiff perked up immediately. “A girl? Who? Someone from school?”

I scowled and leaned against the counter. “Yeah. Just a friend.”

“She was kinda cute,” Tomo mused, and then turned to Tiff and Linx to explain, “I was waiting outside one of the clubs, and I see Lucky and this girl walking together, and then Lucky sees me, and then he like, grabbed the girl and shoved her across the street.”

“Sauve,” Linx snorted.

Tomo continued without a pause, “That poor girl was so confused, what’s wrong with you? What, you didn’t wanna see me that bad? OR, maybe that if I said hi to you with such familiarity that she would’ve gotten jealous?”

“Remember the last time you and my school people met?” I asked her.

“No.”

“Oh, puberty,” Linx pretended to sigh.

“You told everybody that you were pregnant! With MY kid!” I practically yelled. Yeah, I was still pissed about that.

Both Linx and Tiff simultaneously snorted/choked- and then started laughing.

“Are you serious Tomo?” Tiff wheezed, “That’s pretty low.”

“Genius, girl,” laughed Linx. “Genius.”

“Yeah, I thought so too,” Tomo beamed, nodding.

I slammed my empty glass down. “What are you talking about, that’s fucked up!”

“That’s what makes it awesome,” Linx said.

Tiff shook her head, still smiling. “Oh, Lucky,” was all she said.

“Anyway,” Tomo said with a toss of her head, now that her confidence was renewed, “Why would it matter if she met me or not? I wanna meet your friends. It’s not like I would tell her I was pregnant again. Are you ashamed of me?” She batted her eyes at my general direction and I pretended to retch into the sink.

“Bitch, I don’t want you to meet my friends. You knowing Darwin is far more than you deserve.”

“Why not?” Tomo pouted.

“Yeah, why not?” Tiff asked.

Linx smirked, “Yeah, why not?”

“Shut up. You guys are assholes.”

“Why not?” Tomo repeated.

“Because you’re a fucking pyscho, Tomo. And I don’t want her to think I’m one too.”

“But I’m an integral part of your life,” Tomo stated, sounding like she picked that quote straight out of a movie (words longer than two syllables are generally above Tomo’s threshold). “If you liked her, she’d have to meet me one day anyway. I’m like your other sister, so I’d have to approve of her first.”

Tiff gave her a look. “Am I supposed to do that too?”

“No,” I argued, “No you’re not, because I’m taking you out of my life. Right. Now.”

“So you do like this girl,” Tomo said.

I paused. If she had just constructed this entire dialogue just go get to this topic, then I’d have to hand it to her. Chances are though, Tomo just kinda stumbled across it- there is no way she’s that sly, despite her girlish ways. “Enough so I’d never want her to meet you,” I carefully said.

And it’s true. I liked Cricket. Enough to say it out loud in my head as a complete sentence, if that makes sense. But also, I knew if I just denied it then Tomo would’ve kept harassing me until I admitted to something because that’s just the kind of person she is.

It wasn’t a completely new revelation, or a drastic out of the blue one either, but at the same time, it was strangely liberating to just realize it as a complete thought: I, Lucky, like Cricket with more than friendly intentions. I guess it’s kinda like some guy admitting his addiction to alcohol at an AA meeting, the first level of acceptance, ‘Hi, my name is Lucky, and I have a crush.’ Something that when you finally verbalize it, it’s like, hearing it come out of your own mouth (or, in my case, mind) that makes it an undeniable truth. I’m so used to denying and evading everything that I felt renewed in a way; the new Lucky, the one that likes Cricket, the girl that might actually like him back. Holy shit, it is entirely possible that she might actually like-

Oh my god, I think I almost puked right there.

That thought was almost so optimistic that I could barely stomach- oh wait. No, never mind, I think the milk I just drank just expanded all of the chewed pancake sitting in my stomach which is now overflowing back up into my throat. Maybe this is why we don’t do pancake Sundays that often anymore; every time I make it into a race and then I eat until I’m so full I’m about to explode. Yeah, I remember now; I feel like puking every time I finish eating like, ten pancakes topped with a glass of milk.

“Aw, Lucky has a crush,” Tomo cooed, completely forgetting that this entire conversation was supposed to be about how she was nothing but a shameful blight in my life. “You know what’s funny, is that when he was pushing her to turn around to get away from me, he totally looked at her hand and totally wanted to hold it so they could run across the street together. As if they were eloping. Oh, how romantic.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Aw, Lucky’s growing up,” Tiff added. “Notice how he paused before he said anything because he had to think about if he really likes her or not, which he does. Don’t you, Lucky. Yeah, look at you.”

“Shut up,” I said.

Linx scratched his head. “I thought you hated the girls at your school.”

“Most of them are still rich, stuck up bitches,” I was quick to say.

“So what makes this one different?” Tomo asked.

I shrugged. “I dunno,” I muttered.

“Aw,” Tomo cried out again, “He’s blushing! That’s so cute!” She jumped out of her seat and leapt towards me, her arms spread wide.

“No!” I yelled, and tried to back away only to realize I was already up against the counter. Tomo stopped short of throwing herself, only to nuzzle against my shoulder which creeped me the fuck out.

“They grow up so fast,” Linx wistfully sighed as he leaned forward. He shifted his gaze towards the left corner of the room and stared at nothing, before dramatically closing his eyes and opening his mouth.

Tiff efficiently cut him off. “If you try to break out into song, I will stab you with my fork, I swear to god.”

Linx slouched back into his seat. “One day,” he said to nobody, “one day you will all appreciate the fine art of impromptu song.”

0 0 0

Darwin was in bad shape Monday morning. Which was great for me. Gonna be honest with that one. Mostly since a.) my Monday’s usually suck- Darwin usually ruins it like how I aspire to wreak the grade curve (which hasn’t happened yet, but when my inner genius ignites and awakens, it’s gonna get bloody. Bloody awesome.) b.) Darwin actually looks like shit. The ratio of me to him looking like shit and looking like not shit is usually 324:2. Well guess what, it’s now 324:3, bitches. c.) Who gets to be all knowing, sage, ‘buck up, ol’ pal,’ dude now? With this, I can now pull the, ‘Buddy, you owe me one,’ and actually have him owe me something. And finally, d.) I laid awake forever last night, trying to figure out what the hell I do with this crush on Cricket. Because I sure as hell have no clue in how to go about that. Well, no, obviously I’m supposed to ask her out, but I can’t just bust that out of nowhere; not even a month ago I wasn’t even talking to her on a regular basis. It has to be perfect and natural. Stupid scenarios kept flashing through my head, each one more ridiculous and embarrassingly cheesy than the last. But now that Darwin is looking like someone kicked him in the stomach and then smashed his face into the wall, I can put those thoughts off for now. You know, be a good friend and focus on his problems, because evading my own is what I do best.

“Please tell me you don’t look like this because of Rika,” I said to him.

He grunted and didn’t look at me, dropping his head onto his folded arms.

“Be a fucking man,” I smacked him on the shoulder, “You broke up with her, remember?”

“I talked to her last night,” he mumbled.

“What?”

“I talked to her on the phone last night.”

“What the fuck?” I yelled.

“Watch your language, Lucky, don’t make me give you a demerit,” our home room teacher called out before resuming roll call.

I lowered my voice, “You called her or she called you?”

“She called me. I forgot myself and picked up.”

“You dumb fuck,” I hissed, “If you get back together with her, here’s how it’s gonna be, alright? Listen to me, this is what’s gonna happen, ready? ‘One day, Darwin, who had broken up with his bitchy whore of a girlfriend broke his own rule, and talked to her again. Lucky, his awesome friend, feared for the wuss-ification of the poor disillusioned fool, so you know what happened?’"

Darwin picked his head up, trying hard not to laugh. Man, I’m being absolutely serious, too. “No, what happened,” he sighed.

“‘Lucky kicked Darwin in the head.’ Straight up.”

“Is that a threat?” Darwin snorted.

“No, it's a promise.”

“I'm not gonna get back with her, trust me.”

A thought occurred to me. “Hey, that last girlfriend of yours, did she break up with you or you break up with her?”

“Um, I broke up with her- she was dirty slut, remember?” snorted Darwin.

I was about to say something about how Rika was probably just as dirty as that last one- with her cheating ways and all, but I wisely decided not to. Not that I could’ve anyway, since that was also the moment the teacher yelled at us again. Apparently someone else was having a case of the Monday’s also. But not me, muthafuckas!

Cricket approached me later, alone, which sent a slight ripple of panic through me. Because I too was alone. And by alone I mean between periods and the halls were filled with kids but none of the insta-friends were around so essentially, I was alone. And I didn’t know what to do. Once again, I should mention that the extent of my experience (when it comes to an actual relationship, you know, girlfriend boyfriend, ‘I like your personality and think you’re hot and maybe one day we can have sex, like, sometime next week.’) with these things is me liking someone, and then somebody else finding out, and then me getting shot down before I even think about going out with them, or, more common is the one where I like somebody, don’t tell anybody, keep it a secret and then let it die down naturally or quash it by sheer will when I find out that they’re taken.

This doesn’t happen to me often either, so, that’s another thing. What the fuck, it is as if I was thirteen again. Not fucking cool. At least I’m eighty three percent silent bastard, so I wasn’t really worried about being obvious and flipping my shit. I mean, I kinda already do that out of panic and stuff like that, but for shit like this, no.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey, what’s up?”

I shrugged. “Eh. You?”

Cricket chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m good. But is Darwin okay? He looks horrible. Like a zombie.”

“Psh,” I said, “He’ll be fine.”

“I talked to Rika yesterday,” she said. “Um, she’s really upset.”

I snorted, “As if she has a right to be, wasn’t she the one cheating on him?”

“Darwin broke up with his girlfriend because she was cheating on him?!” came a gasp from behind Cricket’s right elbow. Wendy peered at us, eyes wide.

Cricket jumped, “What? No!” She whipped her head around to glare at me for a moment before turning back to Wendy.

“I didn’t say nothing,” I quickly said, realizing that no, I totally did.

“That’s not true,” Cricket added, grabbing onto Wendy’s arm in a pleading manner. “Don’t repeat anything he said.”

“I mean, they did break up, but that’s not why,” I added.

Cricket sent me another look that perfectly conveyed: OMG, STFU.

“Wait,” Wendy said, her eyes still wide. She looked confused. “They broke up? I didn’t even know.”

I nodded in a serious matter, “Yeah, but don’t tell anybody that they broke up because she was cheating on him. Because that’s not why they broke up, so by telling people, you’d be spreading lies.” This is the first time in my life in which I didn’t just step back and let things happen naturally since I knew how fluid spoken word was, and it felt futile. But, I didn’t like how I had inadvertently broke my promise with Cricket while she was standing right there.

Wendy blinked. “Okay,” she said. “I won’t. I’m just surprised, that’s all. Wow, I hope he’s okay.”

“He’s a trooper, he broke up with her anyway,” I said, as the minute bell rang over us. I threw in a last ditch effort. “Actually, keep the whole thing on the DL, that’d be better. Don’t tell anybody!” I yelled after Wendy as she turned to go to class.

Cricket turned to me, “Good job,” she said and stabbed me in the side with her sharp finger, “I told you not to repeat anything that I’ve said!”

“I didn’t!” I threw up my hands as a sign of defense, “You said that in uh, with a different, what do you call it, sentence structure...”

She rolled her eyes and stalked off towards class, “You idiot,” she said.

“It’s not gonna go anywhere,” I said, following her, “She and Jo don’t even talk anymore, and Jo talks way more than Wendy- Wendy’s safe. I think Jo’s with all those other kids who are on that field trip anyway. Barely anybody even knows Darwin’s single now. Wendy sure didn’t. Nobody’s gonna know anything. Nobody even cares.”

Oh, how wrong I was.

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A.N.: Well, that only took, what, 34 chapters or so to come out (not counting the AN). Lucky liking Cricket and all. Anyway. To be honest, I feel like I’m getting boring and redundant. The last time I was truly proud of myself was that chapter with Tomo yelling about her faux pregnancy (and maybe the Celeste pot/blowjob moment) and I’m just kinda waiting for that one tiny bit of muse to push me into the next moment that I can be proud of. So tell me, fair readers, how can I blow your mind (with ridiculousness)?

Thanks to: LetLifeNotPassYouBy, A Quirky Tale

Fariy Lights: Thanks, yay for checking out my pseudo character gallery page! What is it that you like about Cricket, just the fact that she’s Lucky’s actual love target? Haha.

Zephyr-wings: Haha, was it a let down that Lucky had a pretty good today too?

Jo: Haha, I wish Lucky existed in real life- then I wouldn’t have to think of random things and I’d just follow him around and document it on video. And Darwin is in a wuss funk right now, it’s so easy to make him be a pussy though.

So to all 172 readers (thanks, story chapter stats) that made it to chapter 35, thanks. I’m worried that this story is just way too long, and any story with more than 20 chapters is intimidating enough, but here I am... still chugging along... I have no idea when this is gonna end, but I’ve stuck with it for 3+ years, so you can bet your ass that I’m dedicated to finishing this, even if nobody sticks it out with me. Go Team!