Unaware

“Zanyar! Not another word! I can’t trust you anymore!” she screamed.

“Well, do you think it’s entirely my fault?” I retaliated angrily.

“Are you stu-“

“Actually, no. However, that’s exactly how I feel about you!”

I was lying.

She stared at me for a short while and her entire heart seemed to be in those beautiful eyes of hers. Inside I saw indignant fury, as if she had the right to be irritated. Beside it, I saw disappointment and a trace of regret. But what hit me the most was the sadness deep in those eyes.

Silently, she took in a deep breath, as if she was about to say something but instead, with knees trembling, she quickly walked off.

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We had been friends ever since the age of five when she moved here with her parents. She was a quiet and demure girl who seemed afraid of everyone.

“Okay Miss Forthar, Liryan, please introduce yourself to the class.”

She said in a quiet voice,”M-my name is Liryan Forthar. My parents and I just m-moved here.”

First period: Art class

Pleased, I looked at my tangled mess of shaky crayon lines, thinking it to be ‘the best drawing in the class’. I turned around and saw Liryan alone, staring blankly at the piece of paper in front of her.

Feeling curious, I went over and asked her,”Why aren’t you drawing?”

“I didn’t bring my crayons today.”

“Well, I’ll lend you mine.”

She looked up at me and smiled.

We had been the best of friends all the way. I remembered playing in the yard with her, studying with her, asking her to be my girlfriend, sharing our first kiss-

I shook my head vigorously, futilely attempting to clear my thoughts of her. I knew for a fact that I was partly – if not wholly – wrong, so I drowned all my sorrows in drinking.

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Feeling more annoyed than ever after one hour of drinking, I staggered towards my car. With blurred vision, I started the engine and headed for home. Halfway on the road, I suddenly saw something dark approach and suddenly, bang! It was knocked down and my car tires rolled bumpily over it.

Just before I reached my house – after I was again thinking coherently, I decided to go apologize to Liryan. I took a turn into her garage and got out.

Walking into her house and then into her room, I found it empty.

Surprising, I thought. She isn’t back yet.

Spotting her open diary by accident, I saw a hastily scribbled line: ‘I was wrong. I’ll go apologize now. Goodnight Diary.’

Curious, feeling a little more panicked, I should have seen her on the way-

A horrible prospect loomed in my mind.

I had to find her quick.

Anxiously, I drove back looking for her.

Then I saw her.

She was sprawled on the road, lying in a pool of her lifeblood.

Running towards her with fear in my heart, I took out my cell phone and dialed for an ambulance.

Hugging her tightly, not caring that my clothes would be stained, I told her what I never dared to say. Holding back the tears, I quietly said,” I’m so sorry. I was wrong. I love you.”

Using every last ounce of energy in her body, with pained breathing she mouthed the words ‘I was wrong for thinking that you were. I’m sorry and I love you too.’

Her breathing suddenly stopped and her body went limp.

She had died in my arms.

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A decade has passed since she died.

Try though I may, I will never forget that night.

Only memories of her sustain me now.

When I look out of the window, I see beauty in everything and I am reminded of her.

And I cry.