Insomnia. Mascara running down my cheeks. A headache above all others. An empty space in my heart. Blurry vision and numb legs. Mind set on repeat with only negative thoughts in the playback. Sad melodies flowing from the computer speakers. Hair pulled back in a tight bun on the top of my head. A t-shirt that's just a little too big, and a pair of pants that fit just right. Counting glitter specks on the ceiling. Watching seconds tick back on a clock that seems frozen in time...Attempting to sleep with no success at all. Making images and writing poetry at two in the morning, wondering why I can't sleep. Dead carnations sitting in a crystal clear vase on the desk, plants thirsting for moisture. The constant chatter of my bird in the background, the dog asleep on the bed. The soft "thrum" from the fan in the back of the computer tower, and my eyes threatening to shut with a snap. Television blared the neighbors will probably call and complain soon. Watch the clock again...It's almost 9am there...Are you awake? Is the present I sent held close to your chest? Are you inhaling the soft scent of plumeria from the fabric? Maybe you're still asleep, or hoping that you're dreaming too...Sitting there with similar thoughts running through your head, bottle dangling from your fingertips. This is one of the times that makes an ocean feel like a million worlds away, and your house a universe away from mine. Who do you hold when you're feeling lonely during the day? Staring blankly at violet colored walls, peering at the spiderwebs in the corners. Kissing my fingertips lightly, and resting them on your lips in your picture...Just wondering how any kind of person..animal...any being at all could do this. If the heart grows fonder...Will you love me more when you come back? You're risking jail because of me...and yet you still do it. Why? I know I seem older than I am sometimes...but I'm still just a teen. Sometimes I want to go out and shout that I love you from the rooftops, but I know I can't, because it isn't legally allowed. Soft salty tears flowing down my cheeks onto my dry, cracked lips. Are you thinking of me? Do you have that huge pang in your chest every time you think of me, and a phone call away just isn't close enough? Do you miss me? Pearl colored curtains swaying slowly back and forth in front of the window, the slight breeze from the heater. Asking your friends to watch you for me...To make sure you're okay so that I don't completely fall apart. This wanting, craving, overwhelming feeling is tearing me to pieces....Do you feel it too? Hunger pains pang hard in my stomach, and my eyes close tightly to stop the coming tears. Are you looking at the same sky I am now? Maybe we both saw the moon tonight...it almost makes you seem closer. Walls closing in, threatening to crush my body to nothing...Paranoia setting in with hast. Dark hair causing a shadow to be cast over my face...so pale and unnaturally white. Do you miss me?

I miss you...and for the first time, I know the true meaning of being alone.