I don’t know what I want

Should I continue to live with tragedy?

Would life be better if things were different?

Could I stand a life of happiness?

I want to drown in this misery

But I cry to be saved

I don’t know what to do

Suffering is all I know

But I want something more

Is happiness and naïve bliss that great?

Can it fill the void inside?

Will I still be the same person I am?

I love and hate myself

I want to change, but I don’t want to either

This pain is safe

Though it tears me up inside

I want the bleeding to stop

But I don’t want to risk it

I don’t want things to get worse

Is joy really the better feeling?

This anguish is what makes me aware

It’s what makes my heart still beat

Would true happiness do the same?

I don’t know what I want

I want to remain the same

But I want the hurt to stop

I can’t have both

So I don’t know what I want