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Teddy is the most annoying boy in the world.

I don’t know why I bother with him. Honestly, I don’t. He drives me up the wall. All he does is just sit there. All day.

He just sits there and he reads.

Like it’s someone else’s movie, or someone else’s play, he sits there and reads and lets those stupid pages suck him in like it’s his answer to life. I know what that’s like. I know how he feels. Volumes and volumes, all over my room, I love them too, but...

But I love him too, and I’m not sure how much he loves me back.

More than those stupid pages?

“Theodore!”

When it first started, I was really happy.

“Theodore!”

I couldn’t contain my excitement, my ecstasy. I was bouncing on the balls of my feet and running with my hands in the air, waving them like mad ‘cause I’m insane like that.

“Theodore!”

He only looked up when I was a foot away. Smiling, I skidded to a halt. Dropped to my knees. Long strands of faded brown in my face. I instinctively tied it back again.

“Jer,” he said, in that steady, lawful voice of his. I forgave the name mistake – I didn’t want to rock the boat. He looked up at me and out through his glasses, which were too far down his nose. “This is a library. You have to be quiet.”

“I know,” I giggled. “I just can’t help it.” And I reached over and pushed his glasses right back up, because I figured I could do that now. He allowed a small, soft smile.

“I know you can’t, but try to behave.”

I nodded.

And then he went back to his book.

I sighed, and leaned against the bookshelf his feet were against. We were between the two least used shelves, near the back of the building, like always. I didn’t know what novel he was rereading this time, and I didn’t care. Rereading, ‘cause I could swear he’s read them all.

Picking out a book of mine wouldn’t have been so bad, but I didn’t bother. Instead I leaned forwards, draping my arms under my legs and pulling them up. “Oh, Teddy,” I sighed, with a wide grin. “You won’t believe what they’ve added!”

He gave a small smile back, without looking up. And he told me about whatever it was that was added, and that it wasn’t worth my time, because they were no good anyway. I thought that so cool, how he knew. I can’t remember what it was, what they were. I can’t remember much. My memory’s full of holes. I’m imperfect like that.

He’s imperfect like this.

Like in the rain, on that first real time.

“You’re kidding, right.”

He didn’t look up, and his glasses were sliding down again. “It’s just until the waiter gets here.” I sighed, and pushed them back up his nose.

“Teddy, put the book down.”

“Jerry, leave it.”

I narrowed my eyes. “It’s Marry, not Jerry.”

He remained unaffected. “It’s Theodore, not Teddy.”

I knew he hated it. I knew he did. Someone came in black and white, and commented on the rain. It was washing down the window right next to us, making small splattering sounds. Everything outside was murky. The waiter asked our orders. I knew he hated it.

“Teddy, the waiter’s here.”

He glared at me, and I smiled.

I don’t remember what I ordered, I don’t remember what he did. I remember we squabbled over who was to pay. He said he was the guy, he ought to. I said he was my bitch and I insisted on it. He glared some more and we split it. He’s silly like that.

I’m silly like this.

In the rain, when he walked me home.

I held the umbrella, so he could flip through his novel.

“What’s happening now?” I would ask.

“There’s a war,” he would tell me.

“Oh, who’s fighting it?”

“The humans and the demons.”

“Oh, who’s winning?”

“The humans.”

And we’d get to my doorstep slow as honey. I never read the book, but I knew it inside out.

Idiot, he forgot to kiss me goodbye again.

I kissed him on the forehead and lent him the umbrella.

He forgot to return it three days in a row, so I let him keep it.

I think I was happy. Happy I wasn’t alone. No one wants to be alone.

We’re always together, anyway.

Sitting in that stupid library between those stupid shelves reading those stupid books...

“I think I failed that one,” I told him, with a strained smile and a shaky laugh. “I didn’t study nearly hard enough.”

He gave me a tiny grin, without looking up. “Yeah, you didn’t.”

“Shut up!” And I punched him in the arm, even though I knew there was no way he had studied, either. Whatever, we’d pass. We always did. Bookworms are like that. He flinched and rubbed it animatedly.

That was the last, and summer was out. Exams sucked. I stuck out my tongue. “Well, at least we’re free, now.”

He smiled dreamily back. “Yeah... free.” ...And then smiled down at his words.

“Wonder what I’ll do now,” I said, as I lifted a leg over the other. My feet hit the bottom of the shelf, pushed a few books over. “Wonder what you’ll do.”

“Sit here and read.” He smiled.

I smiled. “Yeah, probably.”

Yeah, definitely.

He’s simple like that.

I’m complicated like this.

Like in his room, that last time.

It was just like mine. Stupid boy. He sat down on his bed and a hundred books toppled off. “How’d the interview go?”

I sat down in the chair by his computer, taking full advantage of the wheels. My empty wallet swung around in the air off snapping threads. “I don’t think I got it.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, probably not.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Gee, thanks.”

He shook his head, and reached around onto his desk. There was an encyclopedia and a couple dictionaries on it. He passed me one and took another. “No, that’s a good thing,” he told me. I took the book and thought he was crazy.

“How is that a good thing?” What was I supposed to do with a dictionary?

“You get to stay here with me.” How was that so easy?

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Read it.”

I gave him the look.

“It’s a dictionary.”

“So?”

“So you don’t read the dictionary.”

He fell backwards, and held one up high. “I do.”

“You’re crazy.”

“So are you.”

“Point taken.”

Then he smiled over at me, over his book and over his words. “At least when you tell people you didn’t make it, you can tell them you have done the impossible.”

“By reading a dictionary?”

“Exactly.”

I sighed, but he’d clearly made up his mind. He wanted those words, and how could I stop him. “...If we’re going to read, can I at least have something interesting? Pass a fantasy novel or something.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“The dictionary’s more of a challenge.”

“I don’t want a challenge.”

“Sure you do.”

“You’re being silly.”

“I’m adjusting for your sake.”

He smiled at me, and I read the entire ‘A’ section. He could recite it from memory. He’s crazy, he’s stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He’s stupid like that...

...I’m stupid like this.

“Teddy, I think we should break up.”

The library’s silent, but it always is.

“Teddy, you’re the most annoying boy in the world.”

The pages are blurry, but they always are.

“Teddy, look at me!”

Look up! Look up! Look up and see me for once! You stupid, silly boy...

...Put down the stupid book...

His eyes don’t leave the pages, and his glasses obscure his eyes. He’s looking down.

He’s quiet.

“Teddy, say something!”

He’s quieter.

“Jer, it’s a library. Be quiet.”

“Marry!” And I shout it so loud that if anyone else cared enough to be here, they’re ears would be ringing.

Teddy’s eyes are... dark. I’ve never heard him hiss before. “Theodore.”

I’m so... angry. “Are you even listening to me? I’m breaking up with you!”

Teddy’s eyes are... empty. I’ve never seen them blank before.

He looks away, and rubs his nose under his glasses. “Look, Marry, let’s talk about this logically. I’m sure we can work it out-“

“No!”

He looks back at me, startled.

“No! I don’t want to talk about this logically!”

Like it’s this wild, Earth-shattering thing.

“I don’t want to treat this like some exhibit to analyze!”

Like it’s this new person he’s never seen before.

“I don’t want to be just another book for you to read!”

He stands up so fast it nearly knocks me over. “So what are you saying, then?”

It takes me aback. “I’m saying I’m tired of you doing nothing but reading all day long!”

It scares me a little. “Well that’s tough, Marry, because that’s what I do!”

It makes me want to run away... “Every second!”

Somewhere far, far away, where the air isn’t dry and it hums with noise... “That’s who I am!”

I want to cry. “I hate who you are!”

Teddy is the most annoying boy in the world.

I spin in place and run.

He’s too shell-shocked to answer.

I’m crying too hard to looking back.

It’s raining outside. Tears in the rain are such a waste. I feel silly and it’s cold. An umbrella would be nice.

I keep running. And running. And running. And then I run some more. Somewhere far, far away.

Then I slam the door to my room, because somehow I’m back, and I don’t care how or why.

Stupid books. Crash. I send piles to the floor. Here and there, off the shelves, off my desk, off my bed. Stupid pages. Rip. I tear them out and send them up in the air. They cascade down in a swirl of words that run together. Stupid Teddy. Smash. And I pound the wall because I don’t have a picture to cut.

Stupid, stupid Teddy. I hate him so much. He’s the most annoying boy in the world. I don’t know why I bother with him. Honestly, I don’t. He drives me up the wall. I hate him. I do...

I’m mean, like that.

He’s over it, like this.

“Teddy?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I sit down?”

“Of course.”

I’ll buy some new books later, and read these ones now.

“Jer?”

“Yeah?”

“Read this one.”

“Okay.”

I sit down, with my back next to his, and our shoulders brush. The book in my hands is old, and it’s like nothing happened. Water drips off my bangs and onto the pages, but he doesn’t scold me.

We read until he kisses me goodnight on my doorstep, and he leaves me with the umbrella so he has to walk home in the rain.

“I love you, you know.”

“I love you, too.”

He forgets his book in my hands, silly boy.

Maybe Teddy’s not so bad.

X

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