An: Hey you guys. I was pretty bored one day – and I was just sitting on the couch – with a computer next to me so. This is what happened. It’s a letter from a girl to her ex-boyfriend. I hope you like it.

Crumpled

Dear Nicholas,

I…You…Um… --- We. Yes, yes. That was the word I was looking for. We were miserable together so…I think this was all for the best. Don’t you? I truly hope your nodding your head up and down ---- Not left and right. Hm. Maybe that wasn’t the best way to start the letter. Was it? Wasn’t it?

Ugh. I don’t even know anymore.

But before I scribble up the ‘point’ of this letter (which might be considered bullshit) --- I want to be as casual as possible. And I want to put it here because it’s so much easier. I was at one point madly in love with you. Oh and for Jesus Christ stop laughing. I know you’re laughing.

Stop. Inhale, exhale. – S-l-o-w-l-y….. Thank God.

Now. I know that a letter probably isn’t the best thing. Okay, okay. It isn’t the bravest thing, but truthfully, I chickened out. But I knew that I would never, in a century, be able to say any of this to your face --- It would hurt too much.

(Smile)

We were both wrong. Completely mistaken in almost everything we did. Well – a lot of things. But…I…You see…No! Wait. Okay – I think I just need to breathe for a second.

(Breath Elizabeth, just breathe.)

The real reason I’m even typing up this damn thing is to finish stuff off. No, no – That didn’t sound right. I’m just trying to tell you to take care of yo… God damnit!! What I’m really trying to say is…Is!!

(Goodbye)

Don’t hate yourself for anything. Not that I think you are even blaming yourself --- Really, I’m just trying to be modest. But don’t beat yourself up about anything. At least we had a good couple laughs. Right? Right. Right. Right.

Well, I know that whenever I eat chocolate ice-cream with the ‘bits’ in them (as you use to call them) I’ll remember you. It’s nice to know --- isn’t it? ---- that I’ll see your face whenever it comes to desert. Yep. And with every long, cold (brain-freezing) gulp…I’ll miss you even more.

Oh! Of course. There was that lovely time I fell into the river. Do you remember? We were walking in the park and you kept singing ‘I love you’ (over and over again); you got a bit too excited and knocked me over. Hah. I’ll remember that whenever I think of the park. Does that song ever cross your mind? I forgot how it went –--- Hm? I love you on Saturday because --- then you would give a reason and then the next day…..Ah. Well --- It’s a bit pointless to put all that in a letter……

(Sigh)

In the end, the foolish rambling meant that --- Nicholas, I won’t forget you. I swear. After being together for five years, you’re a person that I can’t forget. It felt weird after that day though, didn’t it? I mean. I know it felt weird for me. I know you don’t want to think about this now but --- I’m sorry for blaming you for even a second. The accident wasn’t your fault (I knew). But I guess after Sara died I was just angry and I kind of needing someone to explode on.

You must have thought about it too. I’m sure you said ‘why couldn’t it have been me.’ I’ve done that too. Of all people in that car - that day - our best friend had to die. But that’s life I guess huh? I’ve cried as much as can cry and I just…I just... You know that point. That point. When --- when.

(You just can’t cry anymore)

Alright. I don’t think there’s anything I need to say anymore. I’m pretty sure I’m finished. But please. I beg of you (with my knees on the floor) do not forget that I never blamed you. Nothing was ever your fault. So please. Don’t go home and say it was because of you --- Because I’m saying right now --- It has nothing to do with you. Okay. Okay!

(Oh Elizabeth I knew you would start to cry)

And I once loved myself too. Just like I loved you, I loved myself too. But I think that my heart literally broke. It must have forgotten part of its job. Because I’m positive it’s not working anymore --- I’m really positive.

Saying ‘goodbye’ at the end of the letter seems a bit too weird though. Goodbye --- Good Bye --- Farwell. Blah. Yeah. It’s weird. So forget ‘goodbye’ and let’s just stick with – I miss you. And one more thing, please don’t be mad at me. I’m sure in the end you’ll understand.

I like you and I love you once ---

Sincerely, Elizabeth

P.S: Hm. (And with a sad little smile) Please, bring black (not red) roses ------ To my…grave.

(And on Saturday I loved you because you gave me such a beautiful kiss while saying ---- Goodnight)