An: This is something I wrote to a piece of music. I turned on the song “Last Song” by Gackt and I just let all the feeling out. Free verse. Basically I just wrote what his voice made me feel. My friends, that have listened to him and are in love with his voice, will understand. More then that man’s looks --- I love his voice. You can just here him put all his passion and feeling into his words and then he just screams it all out. It’s really beautiful.

Watered Words

I can feel my arms wrapped around my knees. I can’t help but squeeze myself tighter and tighter. It’s the only way to get the pain out. And I just cry. I cry and I cry till I can’t even hear myself think. I cry because I want to. The feeling of just getting everything out – Of just getting every single intricate thread of pain out is – Beautiful.

I throw myself on the floor. I pick myself up and I throw myself over and over onto the floor – I want to make sure my knees feel the pain. I want to make sure my heart feels the pain. I want it to just get out. All of it! Out!

Then I stay down, knees seared to the ground. And I keep crying. I wail and I fall in love with the sound. Because I just want it to all go away. I want my tears to create a flood underneath me. I want my tears to just burn away my eyes. I want to cry till I can’t feel anything anymore. I just want to be completely and utterly numb.

I stretch my mouth out. I push my lips farther and father away till the skin between my jaws hurts. And I can just feel it tear. It’s like I’m imprinted with the pain. I bring my mouth even farther apart and I scream even more. I can feel my head pounding. I feel my heart pounding. And I love it even more.

The pain my eyes are in. The pain my jaw is in. The pain my heart was in. And now it’s just leaking out. It’s just leaking out like sand from a bottle. Slowly but beautifully. And I won’t stop. I won’t stop crying. I want them all to see what they’ve done. I want to the world to see what it does to me.

I want to see it myself. I’ll cry and I’ll cry. Then I’ll do it even louder. I do it till my ears can’t take it anymore and I’m completely deaf. Because it’s a good feeling. It’s a beautiful feeling. And it proves that I am…

Alive.