Everlasting Flame

By: Lauren

The water surged forth from the glistening spout, steam filling the air around her. She walked about the bathroom, her body moving gracefully, similar to the smooth liquid in her tub. Her russet hair was piled in curls atop her head, clipped in to place to prevent them from getting wet. Opening and reaching into a drawer, she produced a box of candles and quickly went to the task of setting them in place about the room.

She moved as if she were in a trance, her jade eyes glazed with a far off look. This woman was somewhere else, in a place where nothing could reach her. Yet even that was not enough to numb her broken heart.

A sudden heat attacked her finger, causing her to yelp with shock and drop the match she had been holding. Cursing, she picked the smoking match up and tossed it, striking a new one and lighting the candles. She scolded herself, forcing her mind to pay attention to the world around her, and especially to turning off her running water, as the bathtub was nearly filled to the rim. She laughed bitterly, wondering if she had shed enough tears in the past few days to fill such a large tub.

The candles flickered about her, casting a shadow against her white walls. She slipped her robe off, tossing it carelessly to the side as she sank into the warm water. The woman would dare not look into her nearby mirror, knowing what horrors she would see. There were disfiguring cuts, still healing, littering her body as if she were a porcelain doll that had been shattered and glued back together by a six year old.

She focused on the candles, watching the golden flames dance, trying to escape the wax and string prison, yet needing it to currently exist. The flame doused her bathroom in soft yellow light, flickering and dancing as her air conditioning kicked on. It was so easy to extinguish the flame, she thought. A single gust of air or a droplet of water could easily destroy the fire and it would be gone; nothing remaining but a wisp of smoke.

How could human life be as fragile as a tiny flame? Extinguished so easily? This was what 7 years of dating had gotten her. Her mother had warned her not to get involved with him from the very start, but had she listened? Of course not. She had already fallen head over heels in love with him. From his sparkling blue eyes, his radiant smile, to his kindness, his accepting heart, his soft hands, his quiet whisper, the stubble that graced his chin every morning. He was her forever. They were meant to be. She had experienced 7 years of bliss with him. They were engaged, due to be married in a few months. And no matter how much her heart ached, she would not regret it. She would relive her grief every single day, for an eternity, as long as those 7 years remained in her memory.

She shifted in the water, letting the white bubbles tickle her neck, her tears trickling down her cheeks. If only they had left the restaurant a few minutes earlier, if only they had stopped for coffee like he wanted to, if only they had taken the longer way home…there were too many ‘ifs’ to count. She could not blame him for what had happened. It was no one’s fault except for the drunken teenagers’ whose car crossed the road divider, ending her happiness and her lover’s life.

And now, she was alone. Reality and dreams meshed into one. Night and day, there was no difference to her. She felt sluggish as the world passed by her, time stopping for no one, not even a lost soul, teetering dangerously on the edge of giving up and fading away.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she realized her water had grown cold. How long had she been in the bath? She sighed quietly, her eyes once again drawn to the shadows the candles cast about her wall. The tiny flames fought so hard to live, to remain bright and shining, bringing warmth into a cold world.

Did she have the strength to fight like that also? To live once again?

Her thoughts were interrupted. Her eyes widened, filling with awe and shock. His shadow danced across the bathroom wall, so familiar to her, and yet different, for the outline of wings stretched out from his back.

And then, it was gone. As quickly as it had come, it vanished, yet she still felt him within her, his warmth spreading throughout her body.

She was not alone. She never would be. Her flame would shine with the strength of two in a world that needed light.

And in that very moment, as her candles flickered and filled her bathroom with a soft glow, she knew she would be okay.