Author: ChocolateSugar PM
Brads the popular guy in school who everyone wants. Audreys the school goth who's invisible. Brad sees Audrey as a challenge. He wants her and he always gets what he wants... Rated M for language, drug and alcohol use, sexual content, and any other stuffRated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,809 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10-12-05 - Published: 08-21-05 - id: 1990880
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
PrayingForAngels: He didn't just try to kill himself because of Audrey and Mario. That was one of the reasons, but Pamela just threw him away like the way she throws up her food, and lets just say that Vince's life isn't that great. His parents are hardly ever home. They're always going to parties or business trips and he's mostly home. So everytime his brother comes home from college he actually has someone to talk to, but now his brother probably will be spending all his time with his best friend who he happens to have feelings for. And also do you know how sometimes people just do things that they regret later? Like arguing with your parents. And haven't you said that I wish I was dead before? Vince basically did what he did because he wasn't thinking and he was just really sad at that moment. Whoa long response! :)
Toolazytosignin: I'm glad you reviewed my story! I can see what you're saying, but their relationship really isn't all that sudden. I mean maybe them just kissing at a party seemed sudden, but they've flirted with each other for a long time now since Vince and Audrey have been best friends for a long time. But I've taken your suggestion and given it a lot of thought and I've decided to include some flashbacks with Mario and Audrey in this chapter. I hope that makes up for it, but if you think I should revise this story and include a lot more build up, I will. Just say so.
Nessa03: Hi! I know what you're saying, but fictionpress only lets you put really short summaries so, I couldn't include the rest of the stuff that I want to include in this story. Also this story isn't finished just yet, and I plan to add what I said in the summary. In the chapter before the tenth one I showed you that Brad was trying to make himself better and make himself a lot nicer and a much better guy. That's just the beginning. Hope that clears that up! :)
None: It might make them closer, maybe it won't. But I also think that it will make Mario and Audrey a lot closer. Both of them in that waiting room, both of them wondering their best friend and brother would commit suicide. That would make me a lot closer to someone. And as for Vince, you'll find out soon.
Lilred07: Yea, it was kind of meant to be sudden. Something that no one would expect.
Theresa: LOL, yea I've noticed that. Lol, you said Marcus.:) Hey, I never said that Audrey and Vince would be together! Wink wink. Lol, you'll just to see what I have in store for them.
Kym: Maybe he will and maybe he won't!
Gonnabefamous: Wow, Vince must be quite popular. A lot of people don't want him to die. But I love when characters die. Evil laugh. Lol
Jorja-Mae-Andrews: Yea, I love reviewing peoples stories! It makes me happy when I give them praise or when I hopefully tell them something that will help them improve in their writing. He did it because he was sad that Pamela really didn't care about him and that his best friend, who he has feelings for, his dating his brother. And his parents are rarely ever home and he's always lonely. That's why he loves it when his brother comes home from college because he gets to actually talk to someone at home. But now his brother will probably always be out with Audrey when he comes home.
Nauthiz: Thank you so much!
Lil-dreamy-eyez: Some people keep their feelings to themselves and Vince is like that so they didn't notice. And Mario is mostly at college and his parents are barely ever home. And even though Audrey and Vince are best friends they don't really confide in each other and tell each other their deepest secrets and feelings.
ShadowPharoh: Oh yea. Sorry about that. Thanks for reviewing!
Celtic Cross: I am so sorry! I didn't even think about that. My mom knows about me going on fictionpress and reviewing, but she doesn't have a problem with it or anything so that didn't even cross my mind! And when I wrote that part I had just read a response to a review and this person had been so mean to the author, and I thought the author really didn't deserve the flame so I was kind of overreaction and mad! I just don't think anybody deserves a flame and I wasn't thinking clearly then. So I am so sorry! I'm glad that you like my story!
None: Hey! Lol, I think you already reviewed! But I'm happy that I got another review!:) I hope that the answers to your questions will be revealed soon.
Immortal-phoenix-wingz: Hey! My work amazing? Wow… that compliment makes me so happy! Thanks. Pamela did like Vince, but only in the way she's liked a lot of guys. She just thought that Vince was good looking, and she only wanted one thing from him. Pamela is pretty spoiled so if one little thing happens in anything and she doesn't like it then it has to go! And rather than confront Vince about not letting her be with other people she let him go. Also she has a rather high opinion of herself.
Author's Note: Wow, writing all those review responses took a while! I was happy to read all of your reviews and hope this didn't take too long to come out since I've been busy with school and other things. I am currently looking for a beta. I want someone who will read and look over my grammar for spelling and grammar mistakes. I try to do that myself, but I do make mistakes and I do not have the best grammar. If you could just say so in your next review that would be great. Please post your email address in the review and your first name. I will then post it here and send the next chapter to you as soon as I finish it. My email address is just so you know. The first person who asks to be my beta will be it. I know that may be unfair, but I can't think of any other way to do it. I hope you like this chapter! Also if anyone you would just like to talk or something you are welcome to email me. I'm usually quite up to date on my email, but lately I've been getting a bit behind because I've been quite busy, but I will most certainly answer.
By the way this is a scene break:
Title of Story: A Challenge
Author: Jessica Turner
Chapter Title: Remembering the Past
They arrived at the hospital and sat down in the waiting room. All around them people were crying, yelling, or just sitting there quietly, a sad look on their faces. It seemed like everyone was worried. A hospital is a place where people's lives are saved, but it is also a place where so much sadness and happiness occurs.
Did you know that every five seconds someone dies and every three seconds someone is born? So every five seconds people are reduced to tears because a friend or relative or even some stranger on TV was killed or died. And then every three seconds mothers look at the new born baby, their face shining, thinking about how all these hours of labor have paid off because they now have their own baby, someone to love and take care of.
In Mario and Audrey's case they were there not because either of them were pregnant or because they knew someone who was, but because their best friend and brother had just tried to kill himself.
He had done this not by a painful approach, but by one that hardly caused any physical pain. Only emotional pain towards the people he loved.
Why had he chosen to do this? That was the very question that stood in Audrey and Mario's minds. Why had Vince tried to kill himself? Why had he tried to end his life?
They may not have realized the answer, but Vince knew it. He did this act because he was depressed.
He couldn't deal with his brother dating his best friend. He couldn't deal with a girl he was dating just throwing him away. And he couldn't deal with his parents never being home. He felt absolutely and utterly alone.
Maybe you don't think that this is a good enough reason. But at that moment that Vince put those pills inside of him he was not thinking properly. He wasn't thinking of the people he would hurt, or that maybe there was better solution than just end it all. He was thinking about how his life sucked.
So he choose the easy way out.
Many of us are lazy. We choose the easy way out too. We choose what best fits our purposes, what best suits us. But the hope that was stayed inside of Audrey and Mario was that Vince had failed.
Mario lifted his head and looked at Audrey. Her face was set in an ashen expression, and her pale skin was creased in worry. A tear trickled down her face. She looked up, saw Mario watching her, and gave him a weak smile.
He scooted over and put his hand on her shoulder. Looking at her reminded him of the very first time they'd met. It was the very day that Audrey and Vince's friendship had started.FLASHBACK
An eight year old Audrey, with the same black hair and sapphire colored eyes and the same pale face walked into her new school. She was in sixth grade and today was her first day of middle school. It was new start, a new place to make friends.
Even then Audrey was withdrawn and had a few friends here and there. She kept to herself, didn't wear the right clothing, and was considered nerdy. Not because she looked like it, but because people assumed that she was a nerd because of her quietness and the great grades she had.
But they were wrong. She barely tried, but still got amazing grades. She walked into her homeroom class and stared at her feet, as heads rose and looked at her, taking in her appearance and judging her.
The only friendly face seemed to be of a boy with curly black hair and kind, dark brown eyes. His face was lit up in a smile and he waved his hand, telling her to come over. She reluctantly walked over towards him.
"Hi," He said greeting her. He blushed slightly. He was one of those boys who were still quite shy around girls and were slowly growing out of that phase of his life.
He also blushed because he thought the girl was really pretty.
"Hi," She said greeting him with a small smile. She stuck out her hand. "I'm Audrey Samson."
He shook it and returned the smile. "I'm Vince Woods."
Their day was uneventful, but they both were quite happy seeing that they had almost all of the same classes together. Audrey and Vince, during that very day grew very close to each other. They laughed at each others jokes and talked about everything that they could possibly think of. Their friendship was already blooming.
At the end of day they walked out of the middle school together, so close that a passerby might have thought they were young couple.
"Do you want to come to my house?" Vince asked. "My brother, Mario is really cool. He's in ninth grade and he has awesome video games and is really nice."
"Well..." Audrey said thinking. "I guess so. But when we get to your house can I call my mom?"
Vince nodded and they got on the school bus.
They walked into the house and Vince's mother greeted them.
"Hi Vince! How was your first day of middle school? And who is your friend? I'm Sarah Woods, you can call me Sarah or Mrs. Woods whichever you like best." She shook Audrey's hand.
"Mom, this is Audrey and Audrey this is my mother. We just met today and we're in almost all the same classes!" Vince said beaming.
Vince's mother smiled. "Well isn't that wonderful! Would you both like a snack?"
Vince and Audrey nodded. They were both handed just baked, chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk.
They sat down in front of the TV, and turned it to Nickelodeon, both of them squealing when Spongebob came on.
"Oh… who lives in a pineapple under the sea," Vince said singing along.
"Spongebob Squarepants!" Audrey yelled, joining him.
They both laughed.
After they had finished their snack, Mario walked into the house, still sweaty from basketball practice.
"Hey mom, these for me?" He said grabbing the plate that still had about ten cookies on it.
"No," His mother started. She didn't finish her sentence because Mario walked into the living room, sat down on the couch and watched Spongebob Squarepants with Vince and Audrey.
Audrey took one look at him and blushed. She quickly ran into the kitchen to call her mom.
After that she went back and sat down next to Vince.
"Audrey, this is my brother Mario. And Mario, this is my new friend Audrey."
"Hi," Audrey said shyly.
"Hey, what's up," Mario said.
They smiled at each other.END FLASHBACK
Mario smiled. Maybe that had happened so long ago, but that memory had been stuck in his head.
He remembered thinking that Audrey was so cute. Back then he'd just thought of her as a cute girl, but now when he looked at her he saw someone beautiful.
He kissed Audrey and said, "Vince will be okay," in the most reassuring tone that he could.
She nodded and then Mario got up. He was just about to ask one of the nurses about Vince, when a doctor came up to him.
"Are you Mario Woods?"
Author's Note: He he! Suspense. I hate it when authors do this, but I felt like torturing you! Evil laugh. LOL. Please review and I'll try to update soon!