I STILL WANT YOU

Anger courses through my veins

In an attempt to cover up the hurt and sorrow

Why?

Was I naïve, too forgiving, too forgetful?

I saw it before.

Its ugly head reared on more than one occasion,

But I just let is slide…

Took it as a bad mistake

Well yesterday was one mistake too many

How could I align myself beside your immoral values?

Your crooked standards, your ludicrous principles…

But I still want you

I still want to hear your laugh, your witty antics

Your foolish ways that made me smile

But the monotony of it all adds up over time

And I can’t erase my memory of yesterday

The horror of it burns inside like a furnace that aches my bones and soul

But I still want you

I want to give you love, laughter, and secrets

Want to share more memories of happiness

I don’t want it to end

I'm in denial

So I just try to push the negatives away, putting them behind me like I always do

I don’t believe in grudges, but now I’m wondering if I should have seen more

Perhaps I didn’t see the evils as they were

No one is perfect, but this was different

This was wicked, pure sin

And all the time there were signs of it that I just ignored…

But I still want you

I want to pack it away and make believe

A fairy tale happily ever after

Bliss without this mess

I’m angry as hell, but I still want you