Experiment 10: Runaway Cart

Author: Relentless Bibliophile, a.k.a. Lora

"Warnings": slash/yaoi/shounen-ai/malexmale/etc, high geek content, fluff, unnecessary "les mis" references, marked lack of originality SO pronounced that this list was yoinked directly from mithmaulin's original one in Experiment 9 ;)

Summary (by le piig herself!): That's right, kids, Mic and Kin are back!Kin's next experiment is to see how long they can keep their relationship a secret.Hilarity ensues. Just as fluffy, though not without a few mildly angst-embued moments.

Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me; they are the sole property of piig/mithmaulin (LJ and FP.C, respectively). The only reason I'm allowed to write this one is because she is a goddess. And perhaps a bit lazy and would rather have the story written for her - I keed, love, I keed.

Notes: I assume that everyone who is reading this has already read (and loved!) the original. If by some freak chance of events you're here and have NOT been made slave to the wonders that is Experiment 9, then mouse-click your way either to mithmaulin's profile, or directly to the story, found at: triple-double-u DOT fictionpress DOT com SLASH read DOT php QUESTION MARK storyid EQUALS SIGN 1249692 ... I realize that was excessive, but so is FP.C's bizarre tendency to remove web URLs and URL-specific symbols like tildes. Le sigh. At any rate, go. I'll wait.

Are you back now (or hadn't left)? Good, good. We may now continue with le show. For a brief history of Experiment 10, let's just say that I'd been bugging piig to write it ever since she hinted about it in her author's notes for the final chapter of E9. Anyhow, things came up, piig became engrossed in her new baby, Ignorant Boys' Guide to World Maintenance, the manga version (which is also awesome and, unfortunately, not available online), and I was growing restless. As I'd displayed a penchant for writing one-shot fanfiction of piig's boys before, it eventually came down to a commisiolab. I got to steal Kin while he wrote the prose, and piig gave me information when he was being vague; some of the actual phrases in this story are hers, gleaned from MSN conversations or e-mails or whatnot. So, it is a baby brought forth from both our hard work and love and all that, and I hope you enjoy.

Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated, of course. Flames? Well, it depends on my mood. They alternatively amuse and annoy me, so take your pick.

Experiment 10: Runaway Cart

Prologue

EXPERIMENT 10: RUNAWAY CART

Yet another study of human behaviour (this one perhaps not so in-depth) by KENNETH C. FLAGG. Subtitle suggested by Micah for reasons I choose not to disclose. (Jackass.)

PURPOSE

(a) To determine two subjects’ ability to maintain control of physical actions in a public setting when mutual attraction is present AND acknowledged between the two

(b) To determine how long it is possible for said subjects to maintain secrecy surrounding their relationship

(c) To avoid excessive glompage and squealing from one Katherine Nicholas and one Sharon Guga for as long as humanly possible

HYPOTHESIS

Contrary to popular (and excessively snarky) belief, it is believed that both subjects have sufficient self-control to avoid revealing their relationships to the outside world. In addition, it is likely that the supposed social ineptitude of both subjects has resulted in the Outside World assuming an inability to establish a relationship; therefore, it is possible that despite evidence, others will continue to ignore the presence of said relationship.

Addendum to the Hypothesis:

It has come to this scientist’s attention that his previous hypothesis has come under fire for not being in the ‘IF-THEN-BECAUSE’ format; said hypothesis has been accused of being unscientific, and this scientist called the utterly ridiculous term of ‘idiotic geek’.

Well. Kenneth C. Flagg (who is a better scientist than you, nya nya!) has a few words on the subject. The if-then-because formula is not the only way to write hypotheses; it is, however, the most formulaic, and therefore, is commonly employed by ninth-grade teachers as it is the simplest form for their inane students to understand. Just because it is simple to memorize does not mean it is the only, nor even the best, method of hypothesis-writing. Moreover, the alternate hypothesis suggested somewhat missed the point of the original.

IF some people have a problem with my hypothesis and think this Experiment is unscientific because of it, THEN they can go jump off a bridge BECAUSE this scientist does not give a damn. Thank you very much.

Addendum to the Addendum to the Hypothesis:

Micah says no more grape popsicles and iced cappuccinos for me; he says they make me cranky. I say he’s nagging.

SUBJECTS

Kenneth Corbett Flagg; Heretofore referred to as “Kin”, “me”, or “jackass” (if it’s Micah writing). Eighteen-year-old Caucasian male, already established as extreme sci/tech nerd with accompanying X-Files obsession and minor (cough) fixation with removing food from his boyfriend’s skin. Physical description has not changed since the previous Experiment, save a few inches of hair length.

Micah Reid Barrett; Heretofore referred to as “Micah,” “Mic,” or several names that are decidedly inappropriate for a detached scientific analysis but are used in other, usually amorous but sometimes sarcastic, circumstances. Eheh. Seventeen-year-old Caucasian male, otherwise known as ‘jailbait’ for the next five months (OW! Mic, that hurt!), same physical description barring the loss of most of his hair. Art/theatre nerd status has been raised to Critical after the inception of the Les Misérables performance.

METHOD

Phase the Negative: No one in the Flagg family is allowed to be aware of the subjects' relationship. As Julie figured things out before this Experiment was drafted, this phase is null, appearing here for statistical purposes only.

Phase 1: Members of Barrett family may not find out about the aforementioned relationship; the rare occasions upon which Mic’s parents get Kinnith’s name right do not count, though they may be celebrated. Phase 1 ends upon either parent obtaining concrete proof of said relationship (e.g. walking in on coital activities, though heaven forbid!). If the consequence of parental units upon obtaining said information results in termination, Phase 1 will be considered complete nonetheless.

Phase 2: Friends of both subjects may not have solid evidence of the relationship; speculation, of course, does not count, otherwise this would have been over with Riko’s first squeal.

Phase 3: The rest of the world (i.e. the population of Douglas Cedar Secondary) cannot know of the relationship; this phase should not be difficult, as most of the school refuses to acknowledge this scientist’s existence anyway.

MATERIALS

2 human subjects

1 British Columbian high school environment (Douglas Cedar Secondary, Our Fair City of Prize)

Various objects that are unmentionable but infinitely pleasurable, heh, heh (Micah informs me that I must write I was joking here. He's such a spoilsport sometimes.)

COMMENTARY

As before, the “observations” section has been typed up after the fact, using notes and journals and whatnot scribbled down on various notebooks and/or homework assignments and/or Suzla napkins over the duration of the experiment. As Micah is involved in the creation of this experiment (seeing as this whole thing was his idea (read: dare/bet)), several passages include his interjections and EXTREMELY not-funny comments that are kept so everyone can see what a bastard he is and how utterly patient I am to be putting up fpafp3fulaW9F9fj. -- Aha. Like those. They’re actually kept for my own enjoyment or his, as most of the time one or the other of us is annoyed by them.

And that’s that for the prologue. Pardon me as I tend to wax eloquent in my notes.