...black blossoms...just like suicide...

Deep base softly caressing, like a hoarse voice
telling you what I cant say:

Its like suicide. Just like suicide.

The sour smell, the bitter taste of the words you hear as I dive down to bite through them
Dig deep and taste the smell coming from your mind
…bitter and smooth…
…ridged and hard….

How I feel, what I feel
lost to you

The texture of my tongue broken by lies
Tough trenches where scars used to sigh
Whispers far too long of suicide
Traces of deaths pencils smudging along our lives
The smooth grey of everyday clouds bursting into dust and combustion raining from the sky
….like suicide….

A rain of suicide
A reign of suicide
she died so sweetly…………….it died so sweetly
Just like suicide.

And so I got lost in the garden of sound.

Deafened by the trembling of the ground beneath me as my insides move like snakes, fighting to eat their way through the wall of my stomach.

Perhaps if I was killed like an eagle, crucified on my own sins….
Perhaps it wouldn’t be like suicide… perhaps it wouldn’t be like lies….
Perhaps I could swear it meant something, then…
Perhaps I could promise things again …
wielding my insane snakes that bleed bitterness and breathe softly soured senses
Perhaps I would lick after you, then…
Strike you with my whipping tongue…
Rattle your lips and batter your eyelids...
Tell you how it is…just like suicide…

Can you ask me….?
Can you ask me whether I feel for you…………
can you ask me why im still alive when I am dead….?
…yes…
…I died today….
Like yesterday….and the day before….
And the day before that when you smiled and said we all die, anyways….
When you smiled and your eyes were distant as I tried to reach you….
As I tried to look at you and see you…
…see you see me….

But you wouldn’t

…maybe you couldn’t…

and maybe it isn’t your fault that you don’t love me…
….maybe ill understand this sometime… sometime when I have realised why…

….why its just like suicide…..