A/N: Here it is, revised version of chapter 1. Woohoo. Not quite so much has been changed in this chapter as will be in others, but tell me what you think all the same. I especially liked the bit I added in the first paragraph, and how James explains how he knows Kayan is beautiful.

Let's Do It Like This

Kayan moaned gently as he looked over at his best friend James. He was breathtakingly beautiful in Kayan's eyes. The two had been the best of friends since the age of five, closer than Siamese twins. They told each other everything, were always there for each other, knew every secret there was to know, even the dirty or embarrassing ones. Kayan moaned again as he thought of some of the dirty things he knew about James. He crossed his legs to avoid embarrassment (ode to a certain little problem which was arising with increasingly alarming frequency when he thought about his friend), even though James was blind. Obviously, the older boy would only notice if he happened to engage in some kind of full-body contact with Kayan (thinking about this prospect worsened the little problem), in which case leg-crossing wouldn’t help anyways.

The two had a rare sort of friendship, which was so close and trusting as to be called intimate. But lately Kayan had wanted to be intimate with James in another way. For the past year or so, he had been having more-then-friendly feelings for his friend.

James was a punk, so obviously he wore all black and leather and studs. Today he was wearing baggy black jeans with a studded leather belt, a black muscle shirt, and a worn leather vest that was also adorned with quite a few studs, as well as a lot of studded jewelry. James was blind, so he wore dark glasses that were mirrored, frameless, and pointed at the ends. He had long, straight, hair that was so dark it was almost black. He as fairly attractive, but not a god by any means. His face was somewhat sharply boned, and he still had a bit of a problem with acne along his jaw line and cheekbones, but he was very muscular from years of living on the streets as the leader of a powerful minor gang.

Kayan, on the other hand, WAS a god. Or maybe more a goddess. In high contrast to James, he was quite effeminate. He tended to wear tight jeans and red muscle shirts, and he always had a red leather dog collar around his neck. His hair was long, straight, and blond, and his eyes were big, blue, and very expressive. He had quite high cheekbones, but it made him look graceful instead of gaunt or awkward. His porcelain complexion accented his wiry, but strong body. He was almost dangerously thin, probably from his life on the street, but it looked good on him. He was shorter than James by about three inches, only coming up to the older boy’s nose, but was fully six feet tall. He was also about half a year younger than James, who would be eighteen in a few months time.

Every time James rubbed his friend's back to calm his nerves, Kayan felt like strong electrical currents were running through him. Every time James held him close to stay his tears, Kayan's whole body tingled. Every time James squeezed his hand to tell him everything was alright, Kayan was so overwhelmed with love for the dark-haired young man, it made his stomach hurt.

Although James was blind, he felt presences, and Kayan's was very strong to him. He could feel Kayan's emotional fluxes. He felt just then something he didn't dare to hope was lust. He tried to quell his own lusty feelings for his blond friend and slid over. For a while now he had been finding Kayan almost unbearably attractive. Though he could not see him, had not in fact since the age of twelve, he knew that Kayan was attractive. He knew it in the creamy smoothness of Kayan’s skin, in the silhouette of his body when the two were pressed close, in the softly intoxicating scent of his silky hair, in the sweet tenor of his perfect voice.

He wanted to just grab him and kiss him until he begged for mercy, but all he had been able to do was find every excuse to press his body up against Kayan's, to touch him in any way. He had a girlfriend. His girlfriend was pregnant. He loved his girlfriend. He thought. He was so unsure lately. These new feelings for Kayan that he had... he was just so unsure! And the worst part was that he couldn't talk to Kayan about his feelings. Not THESE feelings. They were too inappropriate, too strange, yet too strong to ignore. He wasn't supposed to feel that way about his best friend, his other half.

But another part of him said 'But isn't this natural? Isn't this just our relationship taking itself to the next level? The next step? Should I be having these feelings? I love him like a brother, but do I love him... more? What about Melodie? Don't I love her? She's pregnant, I can't just leave her! Even if these feelings are real! Then why is it that the only thing I want to do is kiss him and hold him and do things to him that straight guys DO NOT DO to other straight guys? Am I even straight? I must not be, a straight guy wouldn’t even be thinking like this. Is Kayan straight? I doubt it. I can’t stand being like this, but if I tell him my feelings and he doesn’t share them, things between us will never be the same!' He didn't understand the way he felt, and it frightened him. He always had to be in control. He was only comfortable when he was in control.

"What's wrong?'' He asked Kayan in his deep, husky voice, slipping an arm around his friend's waist.

"Indigestion.'' The young man lied. ''My stomach just hurts a b-'' He was abruptly cut off when a pair of lips sealed his in a fiery kiss. James' lips. He returned the kiss with a passion born of nearly a year's pent-up desire. A gentle moan escaped his lips, but was muffled by James' soft mouth. James returned his feelings. He could barely believe it, scarcely dared to believe it. Love flooded and aroused his depraved body as he threw his arms around James' neck, before beginning to move his hands jerkily up and down his friend's back. The kiss was exactly as he had always imagined it, in only his wildest dreams and fantasies. The fireworks were brighter, stronger, and more stunning then those of a decade's worth of new year’s displays. He felt James' hands move down from his waist to caress his backside. How long the kiss lasted, neither of them knew. It could have been minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, even centuries, and they wouldn't have noticed. It was completely perfect. When they finally broke apart, Kayan was left reeling.

James dropped his head into his hands and groaned, ''What have I done? Oh, what have I done?''