But It Does

By: K.S. Night

Curl into a ball.

Hug yourself tight.

Close your eyes,

Stop your ears.

Pretend it isn’t there.

There is not pain;

It doesn’t hurt.

If you can’t feel it, it’s not there.

If it’s not there, you can’t feel it.

It doesn’t hurt…

But it does.

You want so badly

To break down and cry.

But you won’t let yourself do it.

You don’t want to feel anything.

Emotion is not your friend.

It makes you hurt.

So you stuff all your feelings,

Behind a wall of steel.

You don’t want to let them out,

But your strength is fading.

The wall is cracking.

You cannot hold it for long.

But you can’t feel it yet.

If you can’t feel it, it’s not there.

If it’s not there, you can’t feel it.

It doesn’t hurt…

But it does.

When you’re happy,

When you’re excited,

The pain is always there.

Your world is one big sore.

Your heart is cracking…

The wall will break.

You will hurt,

Until you lock them away again.

But for now,

It doesn’t hurt…

But it does.

September 3rd, 2005