--
Disclaimer- I don't own Spam or any of the song lyrics or anything
previously copyrighted in this poem.
The Spam Poem

Spam, Spam,
The magical meat.
Fun to look at,
Fun to eat.
No meal's complete
Without my Spam.
Made of liver?
Turkey?
Or maybe ham?
Perhaps it was served by Sam I Am.
Dr. Suess, what a silly old man.
How I love to eat my Spam.
When I'm hungry, just open a can.
Jam! Squish! Bam!
Holy catch phrases, Batman.
We laugh, we cry.
We live, we die.
We eat, we drink.
We roll around the skating rink.
We don't, we do.
We won't, we will.
We aren't, we are.
Was that Mel Gibson in her car?
Put your feet
In the meat.
Don't you know
The feel of Spam between the toe?
Live your life for someone else?
Time to live it for yourself.
Ready to eat?
Have a can of "Treat Meat".
No, no, no!
Spam, Spam.
The only meat I will eat.
At the house or with a louse?
Oh no, you silly goose,
Let's get foot loose.
Get down the fiddle,
Get down the bow.
Where we stop, no body knows.
Dance all night,
Till the break of dawn.
Greet the morning with
A two-step and a yawn.
Crash into me,
I'll crash into you.
If the world had a front porch,
We'd set it on fire with a torch.
Who let the dogs out?
It was me, sorry 'bout...
But, that's the way it is.
Never gonna change.
Angela's Ashes followed by 'Tis.
Guys say "Gotta take a wiz."
Ladies say "Know where the bathroom is?"
Yeah, he's cute,
But, I think he's married to Nicole Kidman.
HEHE!
He never said "I love you."
Now, who's missing who?
Cut the Spam in two.
Breakfast in bed, cause he's got the flu.
I'm a big, big girl
In a big, big world
With a big, big speaking problem.
Keep repeating the word "big"
So embarrassed, I think I'll wear a wig.
Who am I?
Well, who are you?
Look at you.
With a face like that, what can you do?
I ain't afraid of dyin.
It's just the thought of being dead.
And, a hundred thousand insects
Crawling around inside my head.
The worms crawl in,
The worms crawl out.
A lack of water's called a drought.
Look like sick.
Smell like sick.
Must be sick...
Minded my manners.
Looked both ways.
Was a good boy,
Just behaved.
Don't' you hate it
When the road gets paved?
Traffics jammed.
Windows down.
Jump off the bridge,
Maybe I'll drown.
Emergency guy sure looks hot.
Maybe I'm dead,
Maybe I'm not.
One drink, two drink,
Three drink, four.
One more drink 'till I hit the floor.
Hi, my name's Al.
I'm new here.
Keep looking at me like that,
I'll bite off your ear.
Live in the here and now.
Crack others with your wet towel.
Never eat the mystery meat.
Spam's always such a treat.
I won't take less than you love.
But, less is more,
And, more is less.
So, that's all you're gonna get.
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks.
Spam is what Willy Shakespeare ate.
No, wait, that's a lie.
Spam came along after he died.
It's the eye of the tiger,
The feel of the fight.
So, what are you doing Saturday night?
I'm doing all right,
But, man, does he have a right.
Got punched in the face.
That's what ya get for hiding an ace.
Cold Spam over my eye.
Well, at least I didn't die.
About the book craze Harry Potter.
The girl? Yeah, he got her.
Comin' down the world turned over.
Then ya wonder,
On Sesame Street, who played Grover.
I wanna be famous,
I wanna be a star.
Rather than unemployed,
Driving this old car.
Broadway is dark tonight,
Why doesn't someone turn on a light?
I am not a crook.
Favorite chess piece- rook.
I love Lucy.
Lucy loves Ricky.
Ricky Martin's gay.
Boy, that makes MY day.
Cold hard cash,
For it we all make a dash.
WV, home of the Knotts named Don.
Spam's on sale, use your double coupon.
It won't be long 'till my ship comes in.
Until then, I'll just keep prayin.
A 30 Post-It poem.
The writer I am.
And to think it all started
With the Spam.