Author: Venustas iaceo PM
What's a teenage supervillian to do when he's stuck with his mother and no good guys on Christmas?Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Words: 886 - Favs: 2 - Published: 09-05-05 - id: 2001267
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Warning: Author-chan can be weird when fueled by boredom and Mountain Dew. This will be insane. That is all.
By: Venus-chan (That's me!)
And so the day was saved once more! Our fowled heroine, Snow Talon, flew back to her hidden Fortress of Mountains, Snow, Trees, and Privacy where she was to receive a wonderful gift from her butler Joe. The Christmas vacation for the crime-fighting preteen of whom was always spared time from class anyways (despite no one knowing her 'deep and dark' secrets) was coming to a sad and lonely close. Joe had been given a gift from the mayor for Snow, and it was a wonderful vacation to the Bahamas. Snow quickly packed her things, throwing her five suitcases in the back of her obscenely large jet and took off to the islands. She found them extremely boring.
Mathew was pacing back and forth through his lab, rubbing his temples and doing his best to think of an evil plan. The familiar scent of spiced rum rippled off the intoxicated teenager as he spun around and knocked over a vase. His turquoise hair fell in his eyes as he screamed in frustration and boredom. Why did his arch nemesis suddenly stop fighting crime? He was wasting valuable destroying time waiting for her to surface herself again. He'd based his entire life on getting his dire revenge, and she wasn't even around to notice!
Matt's sister ran in holding a newspaper over her head reading "Mayor Gives Fowl Friend Freedom!" in annoyingly bold print that took up two lines. She handed the newspaper to him with a pout on her face. "She's on vacation, Mattie. Now you can just enjoy having Christmas dinner and getting presents like a normal kid. Mom's really starting to worry that you've been down here for…" Her monotonous voice just shorted out as she stared at the clock. Mathew assumed that her small brain had left her incapable of noticing it had only been an hour since he'd gone into the basement.
Maddie gave a drone sigh and turned as she heard Matt's cell phone ring, picking it up and handing it to him. He clicked the green phone symbol and put it up to his draconic ears. "What is it?! Can't a dragon have some peace and--"
The other voice was cracked and rather squeaky. "Hello, Pablo's Pizzeria, I'd like to order a--"
"DAMNIT!" Matt hung up the phone, turning to Maddie. "That's the third time that person has called today! I told you that a dragon didn't need a cell phone, but no. You said it was the premium deal so I just had to get it."
Madison began crying instantly, flailing her arms about. "You're not anymore dragon than I am now cut it out and go upstairs and eat!" Mat brought up a hand to knock her in the jaw but stopped as the phone rang once more. He lifted it to his ear.
"This isn't Pablo's Pizzeria, you dumbass!"
Snow Talon began laughing hysterically as she hung up the phone, looking over to Joe. "You know, dragons are fun to piss off." Joe just nodded his head and stared off blankly at the waves as Snow began dialing the number to Mat's cell phone once again.
"I don't you this isn't Pablo's Pizzeria! Stop calling me you--"
"Hello, is this Pablo's Pizzeria?" Snow giggled into the phone, for the first time breaking into hysterical laughter. "Listen Dragon Breath, I know. You've shouted it at me the past two times." There was a pause on the other end of the phone. The dragon suddenly broke into furious irritated screams and a noise could be heard in the background of a woman scolding him for shouting so loud and to finally come up to the table or he'd be grounded.
"How did you get this number?!" came his hiss from the other end of the line.
"Well, hmmm. Let's see. You put it in the phone book." Snow collapsed into a seizure like fits of giggles once again. "Silly Mattie!" The phone suddenly cut out at that and Snow tried to call back but couldn't get through. She threw the phone to the side, looking at Joe. "Now I'm bored again."
Joe merely shrugged and put on sunglasses and suntan lotion.
Mathew's arms became covered with black scales as he smashed the phone, shouting at it once again. "Never call me again! Madison! Make sure to blow up every phonebook you find! Send the henchmen!" Madison gave a sigh as their grandmother and mother both set about shouting about how Mathew was grounded for shouting…again. She took him by the arm and led him upstairs. Mathew jerked to glare death at the phone.
"Vengeance will be mine you insolent little bird! I'll have you dinner! DINNER!"
"MATHEW STOP SHOUTING! THAT'S ANOTHER WEEK'S PUNISHMENT!" He and his sister winced together. She shot him a sad look and he just hissed slightly and then started laughing.
"Just wait 'til they figure out I cleaned out the rum again."