|Mechanical Girl Blues
Author: shanejayell PM
The birth of life... two scientists and something growing between themRated: Fiction M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,722 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 02-03-11 - Published: 09-06-05 - id: 2002128
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
PASSING Cover Page: Title, credits.
Page 1, Panel 1: A view of a normal modern city of tower blocks, morning. Slightly futuristic, but not too much so, near future.
Page 1, Panel 2: Cut to an office in a tower block.. Chris' office is middle manager style, not opulent by any means, but very modern: a desk, chair, computer, etc. - very normal
Page 1, Panel 3: Closer view of the top of the desk. A vase of 'flowers'; only the flowers are not real but made from some sort of computer discs and strangely bendy wire. It's something obviously amusing, yet it could almost be a work of art.
Page 1, Panel 4: Cut to a female hand (Chris) reading a note attached to the flowers: "If you plug it in it sings 'Happy Birthday'. Hope you like it. Happy Birthday, from Terri".
Page 1, Panel 5: Chris smiles warmly and then kisses the card.
Page 2, Panel 1: Later on, after the work day: Three women, standing just outside a modern office building: woman A, woman B and Chris. All are dressed in smart suits, and it's clear that of the three, woman A and B are coupled. They hold hands, look into each other's eyes, giggle softly, etc.
Page 2, Panel 2: Another somewhat scruffy but nice looking young woman (Terri) comes out of the office building and Chris calls her attention. (As Terri approaches) Chris (jokingly): "Terri, you're such a mess!"
Page 2, Panel 2: Terri looks a bit flustered. Terri: "Yes, that's what comes of trying to adapt the archives robot into an Espresso bar. It refused to cooperate."
Page 2, Panel 3: Chris stands a bit closer to Terri. Chris (Laughs): "Engine-oil becomes you!
Page 2, Panel 4: Chris: "Ah,. I was wondering Terri (looks away, shyly), if you would like to join us." Terri (stammers, blushing): "I'm sorry, I can't do this."
Page 2, Panel 5: Terri turns and walks away. Terri: "Maybe next time."
Page 2, Panel 6: The three remaining ladies talking softly. Chris looks distressed. Woman A : "What was that about?" Chris (looks after Terri in confusion): "I dunno. Maybe I scared her off. Or perhaps I got it wrong." Woman A: "I guess so. Is she like that at work?"
Page 2, Panel 7: A closer look at the two women's faces. Chris (sad smile): "I don't know. I mean, normally she's so nice. so funny. so. wonderful". Woman A (slyly): "Or perhaps Chris. she's already taken".
Page 3, Panel 1: The front room of a house, Terri's. She closes the front door, and then leans up against it with a soft thump, clearly glad to be home. Terri: "I'm in so much trouble...
Page 3, Panel 2: (thumps her head on the door) Terri: ...again."
Page 3, Panel 3: Close up: Terri walks through the house, taking off a suit coat, undoing her tie before entering a room.
Page 3, Panel 4: (A larger panel) She flips a light switch, and a slightly worn lab is revealed, with a human sized table, robot parts, scattered about, etc. Mad Scientist lab, basically.
Page 3, Panel 5: Attaches herself to a computer unit, via wrist access port. Some circuitry visible in arm. Terri: "Diagnostic, please." Computer: "All systems operating within normal limits."
Page 3, Panel 6: Terri (sighs): "It's not a physical problem, then - the way I feel around Chris..." Computer: "Unknown"
Page 3, Panel 7: Terri (detaching herself rather testily): "I wasn't asking you!"
Page 4, Panel 1: Terri and Chris meet in Chris's office. Chris smiles warmly at Terri, Terri looks sheepishly at the floor. Narration Box: The next day.
Page 4, Panel 2: Terri has just returned from fixing something, and has a smudge on her face. Chris takes a handkerchief and wipes away the smudge: "More work beyond the call of duty?"
Page 4, Panel 3: Terri gives a weak smile but says nothing. Chris (looking towards the 'flowers'): "Thanks again for the flowers. How often should I water them?"
Page 4, Panel 4: Terri looks cutely confused. Terri: (puzzled) "But you don't need to water them, they're not real... (smiles) Sorry, I'm a bit slow this morning."
Page 4, Panel 5: Terri looks over at Chris seriously. Terri: "I wanted to apologize about yesterday." Chris: "I guess I must have surprised you. It's all right. As you said, maybe the next time. .I really hope so."
Page 4, Panel 5: Terri looks visibly nervous. Terri: "There's something that I've wanted to tell you..." Chris (beams): "You don't have to tell me. I think I knew it from the first time I met you."
Page 4, Panel 6: Terri (worried): "You did?!" Chris: "...and I'm so glad you've decided to come out at last!"
Page 5, Panel 1: Terri had a BIG sweatdrop on the side of her head. Terri (mildly bewildered): "What? But that's not quite what I meant..."
Page 5, Panel 2: An upper management boss enters the room. Boss: "Chris?"
Page 5, Panel 3: Chris looks at Terri apologetically. Chris: "I guess it's my turn to say maybe next time." Terri: "Later."
Page 5, Panel 4: (A larger panel) Chris leaves, leaving Terri looking into space.
Page 6: Terri tries to get Chris's attention at various times during the day. Cute little two panel sequences. mostly. This bit could be drawn in a more cartoony or chibi style, as in various locales around the building (cafeteria, office, hallway, 'bathroom') we see them talking, and just as Terri is about to tell her something... they get interrupted.
Page 7, Panel 1: Almost the end of the work day and Terri gets ready to leave. She looks frustrated, and is talking to herself. Terri: "I can't believe this, it's getting ridiculous."
Page 7, Panel 2: A close up on Terri. Terri: (shakes her head and mutters) "Why does this sort of thing always happen to me?"
Page 7, Panel 3: A hand on her shoulder startles Terri.
Page 7, Panel 4: Chris smiles at her cheerfully. Chris: "How so?"
Page 7, Panel 5: Terri (sweatdrops): "I've been wanting to talk with you all day. Alone. To explain." Chris (with concern): "Well. How about the roof?"
Page 8, Panel 1: The door closes behind Chris, as they stand together on the office building's roof. An awkward silence...
Page 8, Panel 2: Chris (smiling): "So ...What did you want to explain?" Terri (nervously): "There's a reason I didn't go out with you to dinner last night..." Chris (smiles): "It wasn't an invitation for a date. Just a few friends."
Page 8, Panel 3: Terri (firmly): "No, that's not it (deep breath). You see... Chris: "Yes?"
Page 8, Panel 4: Terri (sighs) "You see... I guess I'll just have to show you,"
Page 8, Panel 5-7: Two or three panels, as Terri begins to unbutton her shirt, revealing the tops of her small breasts. Shoujo style, stars and circles around them as she gazes at Chris.
Page 9, Panel 1: Chris is blushing, waving her hands, and sweatdrops. Chris: "You don't have to..."
Page 9, Panel 2: Terri takes Chris's hand and places it above her heart. Terri: "Can you feel this?" Chris gives a puzzled reaction.
Page 9, Panel 3: Terri looks over at Chris worriedly Terri: "I'm an android. Actually 5 organic, assembled from artificially grown flesh and robotic parts. Sort of like Frankenstein"
Page 9, Panel 4: Chris looked very bewildered. Chris: "But that's impossible... Isn't it? I mean." Terri: "I'm sorry."
Page 9, Panel 5: We see Chris's stunned face.
Page 9, Panel 6: Chris's eyes roll up in her head and she drops, out cold...and the scene fades to black.
Page 10: A splash page. Chris has been left in the chair at her desk, a note sitting nearby. In Terry's handwriting it simply says "Good-bye"
Page 11, Panel 1: Chris is in her office deep in thought, her face anguished, staring out into a view of the city. But the 'flowers' are still on her table. Narration Box: A week later...
Page 11, Panel 2: Chris leave the office.
Page 11, Panel 3: She's wandering the back streets, paper in hand, looking for some address. She enters some electrical warehouse.
Page 11, Panel 4: She's seen asking questions of a scruffy looking man, probably a foreman and gets directed around the back...
Page 11, Panel 5: where we see Terri kneeling, fixing much more basic looking robots.
Page 11, Panel 6: Terri looks up, sees Chris there. Her eyes widen, possibly in fear.
Page 11, Panel 7: Chris looks at her worriedly. Chris: "I've been looking for you." Terri: (despondent) "You found me."
Page 12, Panel 1: Chris looks away nervously. Chris: "Is it normal to fall in love with an android?"
Page 12, Panel 2: Terri looks stunned. Terri (squeaks): "Falling in love?" Chris (blushes): "Yes."
Page 12, Panel 3: Chris approaches Terri, and gently touches her face. Chris: "I love you, android or no android." Chris smiles, "but..."
Page 12, Panel 3: Terri reaches up to put her hand over Chris's hand Terri: "Yes?"
Page 12, Panel 4 Chris: "Would you like to go out to dinner with me? . I mean, you do eat, don't you?"
Page 12, Panel 5: We see a truly happy smile on Terri's face now, not the restrained smiles she had shown before now. Terri: "Yes I do, and I'd love to."
Page 13: Splash Page The two walk off together hand in hand.
Notes: This was written after a LOT of back and forth emails with my co-creator, Kristina, so she deserves a co-writer credit, I suspect. :) Generally I was pretty happy with how this turned out, tho I think I might have made a few changes if I rewrote it.
This may or may not be the mechanical girl created in the first chapter. I'm kinda undecided on that point....