Because I Love You

I do this because I love you.

I lie here bleeding my life-blood for you.

If I didn’t love you so much, I wouldn’t have come here, and I wouldn’t be dying.

But I do love you, so here I am.

As I look up at you, I see the terror and love for me there.

I feel something moist running down my cheek, but it’s not blood.

I’m crying.

Crying for the life I’ll never get, the children I’ll never have, the love I’ll never get to call my own.

I cry because I know what will happen when I breathe my last breath.

I know I’ll get to go to heaven, but all I’ll ever be able to do is watch you live, grow older, fall in love with another woman, and give her the children that she wants.

The children that should have been mine!

It’s not fair! Why does my life have to end now that I know that you share my feelings?

Why didn’t I tell you sooner?

Did I fear rejection?

But now I know.

It’s all because I love you.

I feel my eyes closing now as I try to catch one final glimpse of your face.

The face that I wanted to see for the rest of my life.

But I have.

The end of my life is much nearer than I had thought.

I whisper the words that I wanted to tell you for so long.

“I love you.”

These are the words that I can finally say as my heart slows its steady beat.

I hear you cry out as my eyes close in their final, eternal sleep.

All because I love you.