A Little Hard to Put Into Words By C. DeMikols

I walked down the lightly brush-filled path through the woods behind Sam’s Club. Careful not to let any dirt get on my all white Tuxedo, I gently pushed back all the tree branches in my way. After combing through the path for about five minutes I came to the edge of some water.

I looked up onto the horizon, there, on the water was the reflection of the last bit of sunlight as it was sucked up by the darkness of nightfall. The water sparkled as the gentle waves moved across the surface. It looked like a photograph from an art book or photo gallery.

As I paused for a moment, seeping in the beauty of the scene, a rocked skipped across the water in front of me, ending on it’s third jump with a splash. I turned my head toward the direction it came from; there was a girl.

She was in a Fire Engine red dress that frizzled at the bottom. It was strapless and curve hugging with just the right amount of folds. Her lipstick was a vibrant red, matching perfectly with her dress and her earrings had small rubies in them. Standing there, on the edge of the water, her heels in mud, was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life.

Her name was Alison Carter. She was my best friend.

I watched her skip another rock, completely oblivious to my presence. Her face screwed up with a saddening look of contempt. I trudged around the water’s edge, knowing that my white shoes were getting muddy. I made my way to Alison, who didn’t even acknowledge my presence.

We stood in silence was she continued skipping rocks, now I knew something was terribly wrong, in the ten years I’ve known Alison she never shuts up intentionally. The wind carried her hair up just a little, giving her the flying look. I smiled a little, she truly was beautiful, the water seemed to add the perfect background for the modern day Mona Lisa; for God’s favorite Angel, for my only love; for Alison.

“How’d you find me?” She asked roughly, breaking our silence. She still didn’t turn toward me, but she stopped throwing rocks, which was a start at least.

“I’ve known you for ten years, I know where you go when you want to be alone.” I said calmly.

“If you know I want to be alone then why’d you come?” She snapped. I didn’t say anything. This is the price you pay for being a good friend, looking past their bad moments. I knew she was going through something deeper at the moment, so I let her comment flow past me.

“I saw you run out of the dance. What happened?” I asked softly. I already knew what happened though.

“Davis,” She began before pausing. She turned toward me, letting the stones drop from her fingers slowly and slam against the ground. As her face turned toward mine I fully realized how dark it had gotten and how fast it had happened. Her features were silhouetted against an almost jet background.

“Yes?” I replied,

“You didn’t have to come out here.” She said softly.

“I wanted to.” I said strongly, I needed her to know.

“You had a date. You rented this suit; which is going to get dirty because of me. Sherri Applegate is probably going to be mad at you for ditching her too.” Alison said. That was another reason I loved her, she was so considerate, always placing others before herself.

“None of it matters Ali. What happened in there. You just ran off.” She sighed and turned away from me again, looking out into the water. I didn’t know what to say now, it was up to her.

“He dumped me.” She said bluntly. I already knew. David Shacklemeyer, preppie and jock extraordinaire dumped her in the middle of the Fire & Ice dance.

“Aliso-“ I started to try to comfort her, but she cut me off.

“Don’t Davis. Don’t start with that whole ‘it’s his loss’ bullshit. Everyone says that to people when they get dumped.” She snapped.

‘But I mean it! Damnit!’ I wanted to scream it at the top of my lungs. It was his loss. How could anyone have such perfection and then turn it away. How could anyone be with an angel and then walk among the demons, how could anyone not love this girl as much as I!

“Fine. I won’t tell you all that, but I will tell you this. It’s not as bad as you think. He really didn’t deserve you Ali.”

“You say that about all the guys I’m with Davis!” She screamed at me, turned to face me with Anger in her eyes.

“And it’s true every single time Ali!” I yelled back. I don’t know why I yelled, in retrospect it wasn’t the smartest to anger her, but she didn’t understand that nobody was good enough for her. Not to me at least. I was like a father looking out for his only daughter, waiting by the door five minutes before her first date comes to pick her up.

I was on edge, waiting for the right moment. The right moment to maybe tell Alison how I felt. I had a feeling however she was about to tell me how she felt.

“I’m sick of it Davis! You never like any guy I’m with!” She shouted back, her arms folded across her chest. Even when she was angry she was amazing.

“And I’m right about them too aren’t I?”

“Why? Because we break up? Have you ever thought that other guys don’t like the way you stare them down when we’re together, or how you try to mess up our alone time! How about how you never give me messages, or pick up my phone and say I’m not there!” She screamed.

Damn, she knew! I panicked, though truthfully, the phone thing was only once, and she was downstairs talking to her mother.

“I do no such thing! I don’t stare anyone down, and if you want alone time I give it to you, you don’t see me next to you on David’s bed when you’re fucking him do you? And maybe I forget to give you messages, but I never lie about you being there. When do I have you’re phone?” I crossed the line with the David comment, I don’t even know why I said it because I knew she was a virgin. I was bracing myself for the slap, waiting for it. My eyes clenched together.

It didn’t come.

I opened my eyes to see Alison staring at me, her chest heaving up and down with anger. She was fuming mad, and I was the reason. Why was I such an idiot? Why did I hurt the girl I loved so much?

“Davis-“ She started, but this time I cut her off,

“Wait. That was uncalled for, I’m sorry. Listen Alison, I’m sorry if I don’t like you’re boyfriends, it’s just . . . it’s just that in my book nobody will ever be good enough for my ‘Minnie Mouse’.” I said, using my pet name for her since the 6th grade. Her anger settled down a little, well, at the heavy breathing stopped, but she still turned away from me, her arms still crossed against her chest.

“No, I’m sorry Davis, you don’t mess up anything, I shouldn’t take things out on you, I’m sorry” She said softly, she was back to sulking again. This was Alison for you though, extremely bipolar.

“Don’t worry about it.” I said, glancing over her shoulder to the scene I’m sure she was looking at too. The water had calmed to a perfectly still pose. The trees overlapped each other and with the dusk setting in on our little toward, the most beautiful hue of orange had showered the entire thing.

We sat in silence for what seemed like a millennia, neither of us talking. I actually think I held my breath during the whole four minutes and thirty seven seconds- yes I was counting!

“Davis?” She broke the silence again, this time it was questioning though. There was something different about her voice however.

“Yeah?” I asked. She knew she could come to me about anything.

“Why do I drive all guys away?” She said, her voice quaking like before. I got it now though. She was crying, or about to, I’d known Alison for so long I could tell when she was about to blow. You don’t become best friends with a girl and never see her cry.

“Alison, you do not drive all guys away! We’re only Juniors in the first place, teenage boys do not accurately represent men, or what men have to offer.” I said calmly, I didn’t want her to cry, I hated seeing a woman in tears, especially the woman I loved.

“We’re not talking about what men have to offer, we’re talking about what I have to offer!” She shrieked, her voice cracking three times before the sentence ended. She was turned away from me so I still couldn’t see her face, but I knew the waterworks were flowing.

Her arms still folded across her chest she shivered a little as the breeze picked up over the chilled water. She sniffled a little as the sobs went on nearly muted by nature.

“Alison Carter, you have plenty to offer I said, stepping closer to her.’ However I really wanted to tell her she didn’t need to offer anything, I was ready to buy! I would close the deal in two seconds, she just didn’t see it. She didn’t see who was right in front of her face.

“Like what Davis?” A girl with an attitude and a small nose? I’m nobody, I’m not popular, not good at dancing, I can’t sing. I don’t get straight A’s and I don’t put out, which by the way I’m willing to ignore that comment about David because you know as well as I do that I’m a virgin. Is that why guys don’t like me, because I won’t sleep with them?”

Now I had to do some redeeming for the male part of our species as well as make my friend feel better.

“Listen Ali, not all guys think about sex, and what’s more, personality matters too. Nobody cares whether or not you put out, it’s not about that. It’s-“

“So now you’re saying I have a bad personality? That’s what it is?” she said quickly, sobs coming out audibly now. She was crying harder, and I needed to do something! I stepped up behind her, placing my hands on her shoulders. For the first time I noticed how much taller I really am than her, and it felt; weird. I started to rub her arms slowly as I began to speak,

“Listen Alison, you have an excellent personality and everything to offer. Not just saying that either, I mean it.”

“I’m not pretty.” She said simply.

“You’re gorgeous. You have the most playful hair, that jumps around your head in the perfect shape. Your eyes are the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life, I didn’t even know a green that deep existed Alison. Their like Emeralds. You’re skin is a creamy Hagen Daaz color and your lips are as luscious as Angelina Jolie’s.”

“You forgot the nose.” She said with a little snort of laughter, sniffle still coming from her.

“Your nose is adorable.” I said, wrapping my arms further around her. I didn’t know what I was doing, or what was making me do it, but within a few seconds I had my arms wrapped around Alison’s waist, and she wasn’t saying anything to stop me.

“I’m a bitch” she said simply. I pulled her closer to me, so that he head was in the nook of my neck. I could smell her hair fluttering gently beneath my nose,

“You’re independent, and you have your own mind. Nobody wants a girl who’s too clingy.”

“I’m fat”

“You lie.” I said.

“I’m a perfectionist.” She muttered

“So you’ll make sure you please you man.”

“I don’t have a lot of experience.”

“Everyone has to learn sometime.”

“I-“ She started, but I stopped her again, I couldn’t stand to sit here and allow her to degrade herself like this.

“Alison, you are a wonderful person alright. You’re amazing, you brighten up everyone’s day when you’re near. Being near you is like being in a paradox itself. You make me feel stronger and weaker with every look, you make the world more slower, yet faster with every breath. You make every second longer, but so much shorter with every step, you make my heart beat faster, but slower every time you say my name.”

I was on a roll and I wasn’t ready to give it up yet. Her fingers inched their way along my arms, rubbing them slowly as I finished my impromptu speech,

“You make me hate you so much, but love you so hard with every ounce of your fiber.” I finished. It was good to get off my chest though, I felt better. I felt so much lighter, and the fear that used to be there wasn’t anymore. Now it was all up to Alison, what was next? Was my confession as clear as I thought, or did it just sound like a friend trying to cheer up his pal?

We stood in silence for a little while longer, that seemed to happen a lot.

“What can I say Davis . . . you’re the best friend a girl could have.” She started. Yeah, Friends, just friends. Just my luck, I’m only her friend. I thought as my heart sank into my stomach. Suddenly I didn’t want to be there, I didn’t want to be anywhere. My eyes watered, but I couldn’t actually cry, my mouth dried up as if Nevada was relocated in-between my molars.

I clammed up and started to release my grip on her waist as she continued,

“So that’s what you think of me?” She asked, grabbing my hand suddenly. She intertwined her fingers into mine and pulled my hands back around her waist. I was in shock; I didn’t expect it! She looked forward, leaning back into me.

Was that what I thought of her? Was that what I thought of my Angel, my one and only? Was that what I thought about the greatest being to ever walk the face of the Earth?

Psshh, Not even close! So I told her,

“Alison, that was only the tip of the iceberg. What I think of you . . . well, it’s just a little hard to put into words.” I didn’t know how she’d react to that, so I looked down. She was looking up at me at the same time, and she had the most precious thing on her face; a smile.

“Davis?” She said, our eyes never parting.

“Yeah?” I gulped. I didn’t know what to expect. She hesitated,

“You’re nose is adorable too.” She said, giggling a little before pulling my arms tighter around her body.

The End.