THE TRIALS OF GASEM by Alex Curto (Otherwise known as Urto)

Well, this story all starts in the dark corners of an alley in Compton. The smell of trash rained down upon reeked up the whole area like a venomous cloud, and there were some hobos sleeping upon their own mountains of filth. The hobos added to the sickening sweet smell of the alley. They all slept lightly despite the heavy traffic of the nearby street at 2AM. Suddenly, all the newspapers of the alley blew wildly in a whirlwind fashion, and a blue portal tore into the air only 5 feet above the homeless. The portal sparked with electricity and screamed wildly into it's own wind. Out of the portal came a man wearing all black armor, covered in spikes, and wielding a giant sword, which erupted thick, purple-black smoke, clearly the essence of darkness itself. The man's face was totally covered, but from the back of his helmet one could see long, black hair. The man also looked like he had been recently wounded, but it didn't seem to phase him.

"Oh my god! It's the governor of California!" one of the hobos yelled in terror.

The man in black spiky armor looked at the hobo, and lunged his sword deeply into the throat of the unsuspecting homeless. Blood quickly splattered and ran up the blade, then trickled down against the cold, smooth silver. The man slowly pulled the blade from it's warm home, and moved on towards the mouth of the alley. When he got there, he turned around and spoke in a loud but sinister voice: "None of you saw anything. If you speak of this to anyone else, darkness itself will haunt you."

Of course, none of the hobos had any intention of listening. You could turn in stories like this to the paper for quite a bit. Two of the hobos, named Urto and Ewang decided to get a jump on this right away, so they could split the loot with themselves instead of everyone else. Once the other hobos fell back asleep, they got up, and trotted out of the alley.

About a half an hour after Urto and Ewang had left, the portal opened up again, around 3AM to be precise. It once more bubbled with electricity and howled a high pitched screech. This time, it was a medium sized man in white armor and a blue cape who emerged. He held a sword which shone with some sort of holy power, and he struggled to keep long blond hair out of his oddly purple and deep eyes. The glamarous man walked to the mouth of the alley, just as the other man had. He turned around and began: "None of you saw this, okay? Should you-"

"We know, damn it!" bellowed one of the hobos. "The other guy already told us! Now shut the hell up and let us sleep! We have work in the morning!"

"You do?" replied the puzzled warrior.

"Well, no. But one time these kids were throwing things at us, and we told them we had jobs, and they left us alone."

The blonde man nodded and trotted down the street. None of the hobos knew it at the time, but they had just come face to face with the battle from the future.

100 Years from the start of this story, a big stereotypical war kills everyone, except for some people who are lucky enough not to be classified as "everyone". The few people left alive are too stupid to reinvent what they have made, but their precious time portal which was invented by a totally unimportant fat guy named Fred in 2009 still works. Out of the 15 humans who remain, 2 of them are sent through to try to warn the world of the war. The 2 people are never heard from again. Now seeing it as impossible to rebuild the technological age, the 13 remaining people build some huts around the time portal and start from scratch. Maybe it's because of our dear friend radiation, or maybe humans just finally evolved but the 13 remaining people start to gain powers. The powers of the 4 elements. The 13 people repopulate and spread their powers on to the next generation. This sudden birth of magic comes to be known as the Neo-Dark Age. However, this age had it's down points. The most powerful of the mages were recruited to join a law enforcement team, but even they couldn't stop "The One of Two" as he was called...

Insidar and Gasem were the two. They weren't brothers, but they were born on the same day: September 31st (The 13 survivors weren't the brightest people in the world, and their offspring only learned from the best). They were born with special powers. Insidar had darkness, and Gasem had light. Gasem quickly became a well known stud, who got all the Water-ladied (You know, the freaky ones). Insidar however, was a loser goth. He stuck to himself, practicing his powers and swearing revenge on the world for the depressing problems he made up which he must suffer. One day, Insidar snapped. The quiet 16 year old boy from the village grabbed his Dark Blade and slaughtered a bunch of animals, 2 kids, some old people, and he cut down a tree. Somehow, the village erupted into a far overused scene of flames as he stood there lauging. Gasem swore revenge, and they got in a short and boring battle. Gasem owned Insidar, and Insidar thought of a brilliant plan. He rushed into the time portal, swearing he would kill Gasem's parents. Gasem, forced to make a spur of the moment decision followed him.

So jump back to modern day Compton at 3 in the afternoon. It was just a regular day. Basketball was abound in the playgroung, kids were playing jacks, the smell of barbeque (and the occasional barbequed baby) filled the air, and Boomsheeka was at her usual corner. Urto and Ewang were up to far more important buisness. They were trying to sell their story to the newspaper for at least $200.

"We're not lieing." Ewang said coldly to their one man audience.

"Yeah," Urto spoke up. "We really did see a time portal open up in the alley."

"Please," the man replied bitterly. "I honestly don't have time to-"

"Why don't you believe us!" Ewang screamed.

"I'm not saying I don't belive you!" the man hollered cruely. "I'm saying that if this story is true, you should report it to the newspapers or the police, not to the drive-through at MacDonald's!"

Urto and Ewang looked around from the seat of their mini-van. They iwere/i at MacDonald's. The guy wasn't kidding. They had wasted 2 hours of their life reporting this story to the wrong guy. To make matters worse, the drive-through had a brick wall on one side, and the MacDonald's itself was on the other. All the cars behind then were trapped. The car directly behind them, in a sudden fit, of unjustified road rage, smacked his bumped against theirs.

"Whoa," Urto said suprised. "In that case, can we just get a couple of whoppers?"

"That's the hamburger Burger King serves, sir."

"Oh, my mistake. Lemme get a famous star."

"That's Carls Jr."

"Jumbo Jack?"

"Jack in the Box..."

"Well, what the hell DO you guys serve then?"

"Big Macs."

"That sounds like some bad porno just waiting to happen, man. No sell. No sell."

And with that, they drove off, heading towards the headquarters of the local newspaper, the iCompton Times/i. They were way too cool to drive by any traditional means, so when they saw a hitchhiker, they knew they just had to pick him up. As it turned out, the hitchhiker was the man in black, spiky armor they had seen earlier. The man always eyed Ewang with a sort of sort of cold hatred, but Urto and Ewang were way too ignorant and cool to notice.

"So where you from?" Urto asked kindly as they drove along.

"2047," the man replied slowly. "You see, 2009 there's this war-"

"That's enough word talking for one day, whitey!" Ewang said like the stud he was.

They kept driving along. The Dark Knight Insidar was in their back seat, and they didn't even know it. He didn't reach for his sword, because the dagger was far more subtle, quick, deadly in this close quarter. He slowly raised it in the air, trying not to be seen in the rear view mirror, pointed at Ewang the grandfather of Gasem. He lunged down quickly, but he was startled and dropped the dagger. A noise had suddenly blared in his ear. It was "ABC" by the Jackson 5 as Urto popped the CD in the CD player. Insidar reached down to grab the knife, but he was a bit shaky and knocked it under Ewang's seat. He crouched down low, and began to feel around underneath it. His ears were pierced by a far worse noise. Urto and Ewang were singing along to the music. Urto did the main chorus, and Ewang took care of the backup vocals by Micheal, shouting out gleefully everytime Micheal said his famous "Working in the corn fields" line in the background. Insidar was sure he could feel the tip of the knife.

"Why do you think they say 'I before E except after C'?" Urto asked curiously.

"Because it's true." Ewang said confidently.

"Except in the case of 'their'." Urto replied.

"Yeah, and 'weird'." Ewang replied right back. "Damn, this seat is too close to the dash board. We didn't steal this anti-American gas guzzling mini van to have no leg room. I'm backing the damn seat up."

Insidar finally got a good grip on his dagger just in time to feel his spine and skull getting crushed by Ewang's retreating seat. He screamed, but Urto and Ewang had the music up too loud, and were jamming out too hardcore. The music wound up stopping, and Insidar's scream did not. The seat backed up a little more, and Ewang looked back. He saw Insidar behind his seat, hand reached under, and spine bent horribly out of place. His ear was bleeding in a very profound manner.

Ewang looked at him in disgust and yelled "You have no right to yell when the Jackson 5 is playing! NONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?!" and with that he smacked Insidar.

They threw Insidar out of the car, and drove off in anger, burning rubber behind them. Insidar watched them haul it, then brake to a screeching halt less than 10 yards from they had started. They were in front of the HQ for iThe Comtpon Timesi/. They got out of the car, and walked inside. As they walked past they stared at Insidar, frowning and shaking their heads. First, Insidar had killed one of their fellow hobos, and now he had the audactity to scream over the Jackson 5? Well, he sure as hell wasn't going to get in itheir/i stolen mini van again.

Insidar had greater issues on his mind. He decided he would just shank the hell out of Ewang once they were leaving. He readied his sword and his in the alley by the building, being a dumpster. Once Ewang was dead, his arch nemesis would cease to exist, and he could conquer the Neo-Dark Age unhindered.

Inside, Urto and Ewang were having the time of their lives. There were exotic rainforests, wild animals, angry natives and lots of tacos. The lady at the desk told them they were making way too much of a riot with those National Geographics, and would be asked to leave if they didn't stop. They figured this was a good time for the Ewang charm.

Ewang approached the counter slowly, studly, yet striding. He put his hand on the young receptionist worked at, and said: "Did you fall out of heaven?"

"No." she replied, somewhat confused.

"Oh, because you sure as hell look like you took a bad fall recently."

"I beg pardon?!"

Outside, Insidar waited calmly, when suddenly someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around to find the only other person to be born with a special element. It was Gasem. Gasem leaped back and grabbed his Holy Blade. Insidar stood up, knocking over the trash can, and grabbing his infamous Dark Blade. So this is where it was going to end. Here, in the middle of this alley. To the many citizens of Compton walking by on the sidewalk, it was no big deal. Just another knife fight, but with bigger knives.

"You shouldn't have done it." Gasem spoke calmly, but condeming.

"You shut up. I'm a loser gothmo, and I had to." Insidar shrugged.

"Well, I guess there's no getting an apology then, is there?" Gasem smirked, and they charged at each other blindly.

The battle raged on in a hot fury for quote a while. They took turns cruely thrusting their blades at each other, only to hear the delicious blocking noise of sword claning against sword. Insidar lashed out at Gasem, who leapt back. Gasem saw himself losing ground quickly, backing away from the newspaper HQ, and moving down the alley towards the street which had a bakery. He realized if he didn't get to the side with the HQ he would never be able to defend his grandpa once he left the building. In a daring move, Gasem tried to leap around Insidar and block the predicatable swing of the sword that occured as he did, but Insidar was smarter than that. He saw Gasem slash his blade to delfect Insidar's, but Insidar hadn't swung his. The blade of Gasem continued past both of their bodies to the no man's land of this battle, and Insidar stabbed. Gasem his the ground hard, pained and bleeding from his side, but did not let this stop his assault. On the down side, Insidar used his weakened opponent to easily get back on the side of the alley with the HQ. The battle continued.

Back inside, Ewang was finally starting to win over that receptionist with his charms, as she said: "Go the hell away! I'll let you in to see the editor. I don't care if I lose my job. You and your stupid friend over there are the biggest bunch of idiots I have ever seen. You guys are a disgrace to human existence!"

"Soooo, I'm guessing that means you DON'T wanna go out with me." Ewang questioned.

The receptionist ripped out her hair and ran outside, where Urto and Ewang faintly heard the sounds of swords clashing. The proceeded into the editor's office.

The editor was a tall, slender man with graying hair and a mustache. He looked like the kinda guy who might beat his wife. He asked what they were here for, and they said they had the story of the century for him. They related the tale of the time vortex opening and the Dark Knight appearing, and how they picked him up off the road a few hours later. The editor was so impressed with their story, he decided to reward Urto and Ewang with a big briefcase full of money, and that wasn't even payment for the story. Satisfied, Urto and Ewang left.

Upon stepping outside, something unthinkable happened. Ewang found a 20 dollar bill on the sidewalk, and he bent over to pick it up. Just as he did, a huge sword, roaring with dark smoke, slashed over his head!

"Oh my god," Urto yelled. "Now we have a big briefcase full of money AND 20 bucks!"

"Sweet!" Ewang exclaimed. The huge sword came at his head, and another sword which sweeped light behind it deflected the blade of darkness. Urto and Ewang turned around to see a man in white armor fighting with their old friend Insidar. They looked like they were fighting over Ewang. Ewang didn't really blame them. Girls fought over him all the time. It only makes sense that a guy would on occasion, as well. The man in white armor looked wounded. Insidar tore through his defense easily and grabbed Ewang, putting a huge sword against the young gangster's throat. "Say, goodbye, Gasem!" Insidar yelled.

"How do you know?" Gasem replied.

"Know what?" Insidar asked, puzzled. Urto and Ewang were even more puzzled.

"How do you know which one is your grandfather?"

"That's easy. Young Ewang here has the same blood type as me." Insidar replied casually. Well, blood tpye isn't really a hereditary trait, but that's not important to this story.

"Um, we have the same blood type." Urto said.

"What?!" Insidar roared. Urto and Ewang asked to know what was going on, and Insidar and Gasem told the whole story while Gasem was bleeding on the ground and while Insidar held a sword to Ewang's throat. They learned that Insidar and Gasem came from two seperate bloodlines: One had Urto as a grandfather, and the other had Ewang. When it was done there was a long silence as Urto and Ewang stared forward in awe. At last, they turned towards each other (Ewang being careful not to cut his throat) and gave each other a big high 5.

"Sweet! We are actually going to get laid!" Urto yelled, basing this on the fact that they actually had grandchildren who now stood before them.

"But what about the war that will kill you in 5 years?! Your children will most likely only be 4 or 4 tears old when they are one of the 15 survivors! That will be a tragedy!" Gasem said.

"Who cares? We're gonna actually get laid before we die!" Ewang boasted with large pride.

"What the hell is up with you guys? It's like you have no damn personality of your own. You could probably switch everything you two say, and it would not change the progression of conversations between yourselves and others in the slightest." Gasem growled.

They stared at each other confused, and Gasem just put his head down hoping it would be over quick, buit suddenly Urto just had to prolong it more.

"Hey wait a second here. Me and Ewang have the same blood type." Urto said with a hint of confidence in his voice.

"Oh, damn it!" Insidar yelled some more. "If I kill the wrong one, I am gonna be the one who dissapears."

"Who cares? They are both annoying as hell. Just kill them. I can't take these guys anymore." Gasem raged.

"Hey! No one talks to Urto and Ewang-"

"iUrto/i and Ewang?" Gasem said, with Urto suddenly realizing that neither of them had once mentioned his own name. "iUrto/i and Ewang?! Not iRaburto/i and Ewang?"

Urto and Ewang looked down (Ewang still being careful), and shook their heads shamefully. Insidar and Gasem suddenly looked at each other, realizing they could kill these annoyinh bastards scott free. But it's all cool, because Urto and Ewang killed them. Then they realized that there chances of ever getting laid were not guaranteed anymore, and they were sad for a minute. But then they realized that they had a big briefcase full of money still. They out 2 and 2 together, and an hour later they were buying not one but two boxes of Cheez-Its, which they munched on all afternoon.

THE END