'spcaes where you're not (like the coldest of stars)'

even pouring out these mix-up muddled-up nonsense-words isn’t enough/ because there are still to many ways (so many ways) that you manage to steal back inside my head so that even when i’m going about things as normal (as if they were normal) your name suddenly blooms inside my head like the coldest of stars and it hurts so double edged (like blue tinged electricity) and i stop to take a painful breath, and then everything is coloured by you and it’s just so useless after that/ the empty spaces where you’re not keep on reminding me of places where i’m not and her laughter makes me regret even these far-away thoughts of you about twisted trees and frozen nights where the starlight shattered into so many pieces before it even reached the pavement (of times i felt so small and you made me feel like i could take on the world).