Who am I?

Prologue

You have seen death.

The clear voice rang through her head, leaving an echo of truth behind.

“No.” Her own voice was no more than a whisper in the silent night.

You have seen death! the voice inside her head repeated.

She shook her head furiously.

“NO!”

The voice continued to repeat those four words, but she refused to believe them. Still, she could not lock out the feeling of truth coming from the voice, almost as if it was reading her mind.

Open your eyes and see what you have already seen.

Even though her eyes had been closed all this time, she knew there had been nothing but darkness around her. Now, however, she could sense a weak shimmer of light through her eyelids, and against her will she slowly opened her eyes.

She was standing in a dark forest, the sky grey with the promise of dawn. But it was not as dark as it could have been in the forest at this hour, seeing that she was standing in a clearing where the shadows were not so deep. As she looked around, the shadows between the trees seemed to move, some of them growing when she looked straight at them. Except for that, there was nothing to see, no living thing that could be heard. She couldn’t understand where she was, or why, but her thoughts were interrupted by a small sound. She turned around, but at first could not see anything. Then suddenly she saw a familiar shadow moving out from the forest and towards her in the clearing. She recognized the shadow almost at once as herself, walking in the forest when she was nothing but a child. Her golden hair was shorter then, hanging just beneath her ears, her face childish but already beautiful. At first she couldn’t remember this scene, but when she saw who was walking behind her young self, her heart leaped in fright. She remembered this fearful moment clear enough, it was a memory she had long tried to forget, but which she hadn’t been able to hide from.

She wanted to turn away, to close her eyes and wake up from this nightmare. But her prayers were not heard, and she could do nothing but stand and watch the two youths walk out in the opening; out from behind the protection of the trees. She could hear them laughing and talking in low, excited voices, blind to the danger that was close to them. As they walked out through the clearing, she could hear her young self speak to her friend. She had to smile at the childish words she spoke, so innocent and fearless.

“You know you can’t beat me, Evan. I always win.” The young girl smiled, holding her homemade bow in her left hand. The boy with her smiled too - running the two steps to catch up with her.

“Well,” Evan said, taking his own bow from his back, “Sooner or later I will have to be able to shoot as well as you. And you might be surprised; I’ve been practicing a lot lately.” The young boy winked at her, then took a few quick steps to get before her, blocking her way so she wouldn’t be able to get past him and into the woods at the other end of the clearing.

The next few seconds seemed to last for eternity. She watched, as if in slow motion, as her younger self pushed Evan out of her way to get past. At the same moment, an arrow came at incredibly speed out from the trees nearby, hitting Evan in the back as he was pushed to the side, out of the young girl’s way. He jerked back with a grunt as the arrow hit him, his bow loosening from his hand and landing with a small thud on the ground. The girl turned around at the sound, as Evan sank to the ground, eyes wide. She screamed, seeing the arrow sticking out of the back of the young boy.

As two new arrows came flying out from behind the trees, she ran through the clearing, trying to reach the trees just a few meters away. The first arrow touched her shoulder on its way past her - making a deep wound - before she dived behind a huge trunk, narrowly avoiding the certain death of the second arrow.

As she stood watching the scene with her friend dying, and her younger self crying out in pain and shock, she could do nothing but close her eyes against the burning tears. She could almost feel the pain in the scar on her left shoulder, even though it was many years since she had received it. For some reason, she knew that the first arrow was meant for her, meant to kill her, not Evan. Why, she couldn’t fathom.

She opened her eyes again as she heard a voice calling her name. She recognized it as her father, and could soon hear running footsteps approaching close by. As the voices and footsteps came closer, the shadows between the trees – the ones who had fired the arrows – moved uncomfortably. Just seconds before her father came running into the clearing, the shadows disappeared into the deep forest.

Instead of standing and watch the rest of the memory, she bolted into the forest after the shadows. She didn’t need to watch what happened next, she remembered it clear enough; her father and his hunting comrades would come storming into the clearing, hearing the frightening cries. As soon as her father saw the lifeless body on the ground, and his daughter hiding behind the trunk looking terrified, he would order his comrades into the forest again, to find the ones who had fired the arrows. He would then run for his daughter, comforting her, while one of the other men would lift the lifeless body of her friend, and bring him home. But she knew also that her father’s comrades would find no one in the forest, and never catch the ones that killed her friend.

So instead of watching what she knew, she ran after the shadows, hoping to catch up with them, hoping to find the ones who had tried to kill her, who killed her best friend. Find out who they were, and why they would want to kill her.

As she kept running, the forest abruptly came to an end. Surprised, she stopped chasing the shadows that had long ago disappeared. She couldn’t remember the forest being so small; it should have gone on for miles, shouldn’t it?

Instead of standing in the middle of a deep forest – as she should have – she was standing before a small house. The house was pretty much surrounded by forest, though it was open enough to not feel like it was suffocating the place around. Looking behind her she was surprised to see that the forest she had come from was not there anymore. Instead she was standing at the edge of a large lake, on a path going around the lake, and then leading up to the house. Curious, she slowly started walking up the path to the house. It had a large garden, with beautifully flowers and a vine covering most of the right wall. The house wasn’t big, so she guessed it couldn’t have more than one, maybe two rooms. She couldn’t see or hear anyone, so she slowly opened the front door. The room beyond was empty. The only light was a small fire burning in the fireplace on the right wall, seeing as the curtains of the only window in the room were closed. A small table with a single water basin and a mug was standing at the far wall, beside a drape leading into a second room. She walked into the little room, her footsteps echoing from the wooden floor. She stopped in the middle of the room, looking around at the wooden walls, which were covered with beautifully paintings and carvings. A soft sound was heard behind the drape, and – unable to control herself – she silently moved to see what was inside. Slowly she lifted the drape aside, revealing a dim room beyond. The only furniture she could see was a small table beside a bed, with a water basin and a single candle standing on it. A dark form was laying in the bed, with two people standing over it. None of them paid any attention to her, so she went into the room, wanting to take a closer look at the two people. She was surprised to recognize their faces, even though they were much younger than she had ever seen them. The two people - a man and a woman - were her parents, Jahn and Lilly. Only they were so much younger, they could be no more than twenty years old. They both had a worried look on their faces as they watched the bed. She turned to look at the dark form lying there, and found that it was a young woman. Her skin was bathed in sweat, and her face was very pale. Still, she had a smile on her face as she looked down at the roll of blankets in her arms. Within them, a small head with two clear blue eyes peered up at her from a newborn face. She thought she recognized the eyes, but didn’t have the time to think more about it as the woman in the bed looked up at her parents and spoke.

“Will you look after her when I am gone? I know you have already done so much for me, and I’m truly thankful for that. But I would be forever grateful if you would take care of her.” Her voice was nothing but a whisper, and tears ran down her exhausted face. Lilly looked quickly at her husband, who gave a small nod.

“Of course we’ll look after her. She will be safe with us.” The woman smiled in relief, thanking them both. She then caressed the little face in her arms with a finger, and whispered;

“I know they will take good care of you, my little Ilra.” She looked up at Lilly and Jahn again.

“Ilra was the name her father wanted her to have. That was his wish before he died.” Lilly nodded, saying that they would remember the name. The woman in the bed closed her eyes, her breathing slowing down.

“I’m so tired,” she whispered, opening her eyes again to look at them. “Thank you for everything, I know Ilra will be safe with you.” Lilly smiled a sad smile as the woman closed her eyes again, falling asleep. As they silently watched, the rest of the colour in the woman’s face drained away, and her breathing slowly came to a stop. Tears ran down both Lilly’s and Jahn’s faces as Jahn felt for the woman’s pulse. After a while of silence, Lilly took the little bundle with the baby from the dead woman’s arms, stroking away some golden brown hair from her face. “We will look after her, she is in safe hands, I promise,” she whispered to the still woman.

At a faint sound outside, Jahn went to the window, taking a look out between the curtains.

“This is not good,” he whispered, pulling back from the window and turning towards Lilly.

“We have to leave now.”

“But, we can’t just leave her,” Lilly objected while Jahn picked up a bag from the floor.

“She’s already dead,” Jahn said, pulling a hand quickly through his blonde hair and taking her arm, “and if we do not hurry, they will catch us and not only kill the baby, but us too!” Lilly nodded her understanding, tears in her eyes, while she held the baby close to her.

She had just been standing there without moving, watching her parents and the woman, unable to react to what she saw and heard. But as her parents rushed out of the room with the baby, she hurried after them, not wanting to lose them from sight. She could also hear now that there were people outside, not far away. She ran after her parents through the next room and out the front door. But after a few steps, she stopped dead. Her parents had disappeared, along with the sounds of peoples coming after them from the forest. Confused she looked around in the half darkness that surrounded her. The trees leaned in on her, the dark shadows stretching as if trying to catch her. Then suddenly the forest illuminated in a strong yellow and red light, and she could feel a strong heat against her back. Quickly she turned around, and backed away as she saw the house trapped in fire. Great flames licked the walls, eating through the wood, while black clouds of smoke billowed towards the sky. She could barely see the house through all the flames and smoke, but thought it looked somehow different from the house she had just come out from, it seemed much bigger for one thing. Still it seemed so familiar to her. The heat from the flames made her pull back from the sight, stepping away from the light. She turned as she heard a sound behind her, looking into the dark night no longer illuminated by the flames from the house. The forest was gone, and she noticed with horror that she was standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down into a bottomless darkness. A weak light could be seen in the far away horizon, and she wanted nothing more than to get away from the cliff and onto safer ground. She was about to take a step back, when a hand closed around her shoulder. She didn’t have time to think before she was pushed over the edge, falling into the darkness. She screamed in fright, the air whistling in her ears. Then all became dark.