“Ber-ber-der…ber-ber-der… ber-ber-ber-boord-ber-ber-ber…”

“Shut the fuck up!!!”

“Aw, but you know you love it!”

“Sorry, but homie don’t swing that way…”

A normal day in the household of five… people. They really can’t be described any other way, besides random but whatever. Anyway, I will now introduce these ‘people’ to you.

Robin Sterling - a man of twenty-three. Height: 5’9. Weight: 154. Gender: Unknown. Mother: You. He usually likes to wear anything that shows off his “sexy body” - skirts, belly shirts, rip-open stripper clothes… You name it, he’ll wear it. He’s far known to not wear underwear, saying they can rub his “huge” cock the wrong way. He usually has on a low cut shirt to show off his D (B) cup breastests, and high heels to give shape to his legs.

Raven Sterling - a woman (in denial) of nineteen. Height: 5’7. Weight: 163 (“It’s because of your boobs!” “Fuck you!”). Gender: Female (but on the inside she’s male). Father: That homeless, hooker guy on the corner. She wants to be male, as said above, and hates the fact that most of the people she lives with are guys. But she loves them. Creepy. She loves the computer, hates actual people, dislikes any type of gossip with a passion, and truly believes that she was the creator of all mankind. With reasons unbeknownst to all.

Amber Kramer - a woman of nineteen. Height: 5’3. Weight: Unknown. Gender: Female. Lover: Anyone that can afford her. She’s really not a whore. Really. Her nickname is “Gabeaner”. She’s very open with her body (she’s not loose!) and her sexuality. Amber is a sex addict, reads only porn and manga, watches all types of hentai (yaoi), and has a different boyfriend (or girlfriend) every week or two. Seriously, we had to move several times because her ex-lovers turned stalkerish. We really don’t have the money to move again, so she’s not allowed to bring anyone else home. She sleeps all day, stays out all night, and does most of the cleaning.

Mark Thompson - a boy of nine. Height: 4’2. Weight: 73. Gender male. Reads, cooks, and listens to techno. Really, he is the only one that can cook. And he reads all of the time. He wears only girl clothes, not that he’s gender confused. Robin’s in love with him (not that he wants to get into everyone else’s pants, too). He’s slim, short, and innocent - everything Robin is attracted to. Robin frequently steals Mark’s thongs. Mark loves reading, he's a great drawer, and he claims that his time spent alone in his room is not "masturbation time", as everyone percieves.

Jose - a man. Height: Unknown. Weight: Unknown. Gender: Male. No one really knows why he’s there, because he only speaks Spanish, but we let him stay anyway. He’s able to pay two parts of the rent - how? We don’t know, don’t really care. - and he’s an immigrant. Pretty cool guy, once you get over the fact you don’t know what the hell he’s saying. And… Yeah.

Diverse group, no? Hope you have as much fun as we have, because once this is over, you’ll be begging for more. (Just like my past lovers.)