the drug

by spootasia tomoe

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thrumming thrumming beyond the point of noise

it feels like a stampede in my head

like a pounding in my veins

a disease

it never stops

jerking me around

like there’s no control

from chaos, no wall

to block out the sounds

the light

all the pain that we shield ourselves from

when we pretend to be proper citizens

under the scope of society

drumming, beating

our arms pump, hit and legs stomp, kick

heads jolting as if attached by taught iron chains to the chords

muscles shuddering under our skin, twitching, polluted

eyes rolling beneath heavy lids like the sick

we fall and surf over planets

I could let myself die here

I could let myself love here

I could become more than my purpose here

the earth pitches beneath our feet

reality throbs around our feeble shells

the universe drops out above our heads

and stars fall like wild fire in our hearts

here we are free and crushing

in this pulsating mob

this sweaty mass of lost inhibitions

and the pure feeling

the euphoric loss of self

as we all meld into one

is painful to the head

is vibrating in my very soul

to the point where it might shatter

might completely collapse in on itself

and yet I move nearer

I turn the volume up louder

I push myself to my farthest limits

where my eardrums blank out for days

where I’m shaking, trembling everywhere with need

as my mind shuts down and torso gyrates

twisting like I’m covered in fire

like I’m slipping away into back of my head

just to get as close as I can

to that deep beat

the incessant thunder of humanity

that resonance louder than the voice of ancient gods

like a drug that screams at your senses

an addiction beyond the cure of normal people

the sound of music so raw

so sheer

it can be nothing short of

enlightenment