What a guilty pleasure!
To observe and not be seen—
These moments that I treasure!
To sit back and daydream—

To remain unnoticed—
And not be watched by you;
With my attention focused
Without thought of something new

But it hurts me to see this—
This image you present
It makes me feel so helpless!
This isn’t what I meant;

This isn’t what I wanted;
This isn’t what I craved!
I don’t wish to be haunted
By these visions; so grave!

I know that I shouldn’t observe—
It only brings me pain!
I know that this isn’t worth
The small scraps I have to gain!

But still I watch; I feel compelled!
I look and not yet see
That you cannot feel what I have felt—
But still have this hold on me.

Chantrea Johari
06 September 2005