Deep desperation of this denial—
Juvenile; helpless as a child!
With silent screams behind the smile…

The quiet dripping of the rain—
Masking all this shame—and pain!
You’ve known that I will take the blame…

You’ve known that I will take the fall—
You saw that I put up this wall!
I know you never cared at all…

It is too much; I’ve cried and screamed—
I’ve wished that this could be a dream!
Wished nothing could be as it seems…

I cannot die—I’ve never lived—
But I’ve so little left to give!
And so much that I’ve never seen—
But pain you would never believe…

Chantrea Johari
20 September 2005