The Power of Time and Words

The television set was on that night that they spoke. However, in spite of the bright flashes and the loud bouts of noise coming from the box, the mother and her daughter had never heard a single sound.

Black hair sprawled over the mother's lap where the daughter's head had lain. The voice was soft and muffled, the mother straining to hear every word. This discussion had begun long ago, but it was taking a different kind of turn...a turn not for the emotionally sensitive. With hazel eyes, the daughter planted her head against her mother's right leg and looked up at her idol, her unreachable star, the person she wanted to be most like.

"...I broke things off with Fei..."

The surprise was apparent in her mother's face. She'd liked this young man a lot. He treated her daughter with respect, consideration, and love. He treated her first-born the way that she needed to be treated. He wanted to give her happiness. (If only the daughter had been more observant. She was close-minded and therefore associated the word 'approval' with John Denver music.)

"...You did, Eclipse?"

Silence ensued between the two and the daughter, Eclipse, gave a small nod of her head. This wasn't exactly something she wanted to talk about. In fact, she'd tried her hardest not to say anything at all, but the pressure came to be too much and every moment of hiding herself, caused her heart to break into pieces so small, much to the eye's dismay.

"...Yes, Mama. I had a dream two nights ago...and realized that no matter how hard I worked, or how hard he worked, things wouldn't work out. It wasn't him at all. He didn't do anything wrong. He was so wonderful. He is so wonderful."

A few more moments passed before she would continue.

"We talked about this before. Him and me. And you and me. Our families are so different. He would be shunned for being with me. His parents wouldn't approve. It wouldn't matter what kind of job I had. The only thing they look at is my pale flesh. There is no hope..."

Those tears began to spill. Now this wasn't something her mother saw often. In fact, neither of the two were likely to spill tears over anything, and when they did, outsiders knew there was a very big conflict. Her left hand lowered and brushed over those dark strands accumulated together. She pulled Eclipse's hair behind her right ear, but continued to stroke her lovingly.

"That must've been hard, my dear. I do not understand why the world is like that. Why should people be treated differently based on where on this planet they were born? Why should people be treated differently based on the colour of their skin?"

It was a rhetorical question, Eclipse knew. There was no sense in even cooking up an answer. Too deep of a discussion and her thoughts were on other things and other people.

"...I gave up on Zyne too. Just gave up on everything. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't take it..."

Again, the surprise was evident. Her mother was aware that Eclipse had previously fallen for someone, but rather...she had not seen him or heard from him for a while. And since the previous winter season, she'd heard much on this Zyne, nearly as much as she had about Fei. So to hear that her daughter had given up so easily, she was more than a little shocked.

"I understand, Eclipse. You'll be all right."

Eclipse looked up at her mother with those hurt hazel eyes. If only she'd known how hurt she would truly be...none of this would have happened. And in more moments, those tears that she had repressed returned and began to soak into her mother's pants.

"...I...really liked Fei. I liked him...so much. I thought...that he might be..."

Her mother nodded, trying to console the frantic young girl. She knew what was about to come. Her daughter had first asked when she was fourteen when one knew they had found the one they wanted to be with. And had Eclipse's mother known more about her, she wouldn't have reacted so harshly. In the end, Eclipse had completely broken off all potential serious relationships and instead dated around her friends...that is, when her father had approved of these boys.

"Promise me that you'll still be friends with him. Things might change in the future, but remain his friend." A small pause. "...How did you tell him? Did you leave him a message?"

Eclipse shook her head slowly, cringing slightly at the way she'd done this. She was always so afraid of talking to people face-to-face or even telephonic confrontation. She was most commonly known for leaving people messages to avoid the conflict. However, in the way she'd done it, it was far more worse than a telephone message.

"...I left him a note to read. Well...it wasn't for him, but I knew he'd read it anyway...and perhaps that's why I did that. Subconsciously, I think I wanted him to read it..."

Her mother laughed. It was just like Eclipse to pull something like this. She could understand, though. She and Eclipse had been very much alike when they were younger. The only difference was, at Eclipse's present age, her mother had been much more outgoing and Eclipse was still locked inside of that shell, afraid of people...and afraid of herself.

"...Eclipse. What is it with you...?"

The daughter knew her mother was trying to playfully scold her, but there would be no cheering aspect. She was still upset and would be for a while. Her eyes began to sadden again, and she lost herself, not wanting to ever get up again. Oh, why had she said such stupid things? Why?

"...Mama...Fei has a lot of female friends. They're really, really, really pretty. They're so pretty, and so exotic. I wish I could look like that. Then I wouldn't feel so...envious...and people could like me more. ...But no.... I'm stuck...looking like this for the rest of my life. I can't stand next to one of those girls and be the one picked for anything. And when I'm with my friends who look that way, I get the most evil glares...telling me that I'm not good enough to be around those type of people. I'll never be good enough...because I'm me. I'm never good enough."

That point had a lot to do with the things in her life. She was always promoting on not caring what people think of others, but in reality, her mentality was wired in such a way that if she didn't have everyone's approval, she was a nervous wreck. Eclipse had always been that way. Call it...a mental issue, if you will.

Her mother's fingertips danced over the side of her face and a kind smile was shown. How could Eclipse say such things? Was she blind? Yes, yes. Of course she was. She was blinded by the hatred she felt for herself.

"You are beautiful, Eclipse. That is a fact. You are so beautiful. There is no opinion there. You are one of the most beautiful girls our family has ever seen. You do deserve to be with those type of people because you are one, and even if you weren't, you're free to do whatever you wish. It is not your responsibility to meet everyone's standards." A small smile was given. "And I know that Fei thinks you're beautiful. He looks at you and probably thinks you are beautiful and exotic because he's not used to seeing people like you. You are so very beautiful. Don't ever tell yourself otherwise."

Eclipse's cheeks flushed over with a rose hue. Normally she would have protested. She'd always felt that the only reason people ever said things like to her was because they were being nice. She couldn't handle compliments. She couldn't handle anything of the sort, because whatever people said, her mind always told her otherwise. She gave a solemn nod and then lowered her head, her voice becoming hard to hear again.

"...You're so lucky, Mama. You have a family to come home to. A couple of children and a husband, who love you so very much. ...I wish I had that."

It was her mother's turn to blush. Yes, indeed. She was lucky. Married once before and engaged several times, that wasn't ever something she worried about. It was strange to hear someone so concerned about their future. She bent her knelt and nuzzled the tip of her nose into Eclipse's forehead.

"...It is wonderful to come home every day and be attacked by your younger siblings. And it makes me smile to see you on the sofa, working on art, or in the computer room, doing whatever you wish. And then your stepfather finds his way in and gives me a kiss and asks me about my day. You still have time, Eclipse. Your aunt...is forty and she lives that type of life. Men around that age are looking for wives, boys around your age are looking for..."

Eclipse really didn't want to hear the last of that. She knew her mother was trying to comfort her, but for someone who didn't share the same sentiments, that wasn't something that was possible. She didn't feel that her mother actually understood her. She shook her head slowly when she didn't hear anything else. It was probably safe to talk again.

"...I know...but...it's lonely to come home to no one. It's hard to be alone day in and day out. It's so very hard..."

Her mother gave a small nod. As much as she was still trying to understand, it was a little difficult. Of course she'd had her hard times of the sort, but those were long past.

"...I know, sweetheart. But you have us for now. We're not going anywhere, and you may stay here as long as you wish."

Eclipse had to protest again. Still, the thought wasn't exactly sinking through. Perhaps her mother was just trying to avoid that situation.

"...But...you know what I mean. Being...without someone...like that.... I guess I just really need that closeness...or something..."

Her mother wrapped her arms around her daughter and held her in a secure embrace. If she could do anything to stop the pain her daughter was feeling, she would, but she couldn't think of a single thing.

"I know it's hard, honey, but things will get better. I promise. Things are going to be very hard, but they will get better."

And without anything else to be said, the mother continued to comfort her daughter into the dark hours of the night.

Everyone's future is always difficult, but with time things always get better.