Oh God, I can't move! Something's holding me down but...I can't see. I can't see anything. The world is black except for a huge figure moving slowly towards me. His agression is bared like a wolf's snarling fangs. He laughs, mocking my perilous state, and all I can do is squirm against my invisible restraints. With every step he takes, his massive, naked feet crush the black earth beneath them, and yellow light fires up through the cracks. And yet, it is just as dark as ever. I have to scream, if someone can just hear me. I can't scream, I can't scream, I can't scream.

I woke in the shadow of the red mare. The sunlight of dawn poured gently through the cracks in the stones surrounding me and bathed the horse's calm body, leaving only a dark silhouette for me to gaze upon. Sleep blurred my vision, and I let myself stare forward into nothingness as my heart slowed down to normal. My skin was moist with light sweat. The world was still and quiet around me, and when my vision finally cleared, I took in the scenery that was revealed by the dawn. We were still in the drought-ravaged, desert-land of the West. I spotted a Joshua Tree here and there, plenty of cacti and some desert birds. I thought I saw a small scorpion bury into the sand, but it was then that my attention wavered. My heart pounded faster, I was still trapped. Had I not woken up? I gazed around warily, searching for the fat form that haunted my dream. It seemed like forever until I thought to look down at my immobile limbs. You fool. I laughed to myself in my head. A small, amused smile crossed my face as I thanked the Gods for allowing Shin to faint. I could feel the faint warmth from his body pushing through the skin on my legs and stomach and breasts. I cleared his messy hair from his still face.

He was clammy. I jerked my hand away, as if he had stung me. Now with a new sense of urgency, I pulled myself from under him. It hurt to move. My whole body was sore. Sore from the battle, sore from the capture, sore from the rape, sore from the riding, sore from the stone; every bit of me hurt. Yet, I was able to push it aside and concentrate on Shin. I layed him down as best I could; added onto the pale, nearly bloodless skin, his position now resembled that of a corpse being layed to rest. That thought seemed to grip my neck with strong, icy fingers, and I swallowed hard in defiance. His pulse was rapid, yet faint. I checked all of his wounds, none of them were bleeding anymore. I didn't know if that was from lack of blood or from his elements.

When I was young, I remember my mother taking me to see the Wise Women and the Matchmakers. They were all in such a fuss, glancing down at me every once in a while, then returning to their heated whispering. I sat there in my pink flowered robes, curious, but not daring to interrupt their discussions. They were rather dry and wrinkly old women after all.

As my mother and I walked down the street, she looked down at me. I was holding her hand and she seemed quite tall back then. She told me that I had so much Fire in me, and an equal amount of Water. I didn't understand at all what she meant, but I listened on. "The Matchmakers are going to have a hell of a time finding a mate for you, my love," she smiled down at me. I laughed, still not understanding, but knowing that I made my mother smile. I looked at our house as it became larger.

"Mother, why do I need a mate?" I inquired as we entered the front gates.

My mother laughed amusedly, and I smiled back, still unaware. She stopped and kneeled down to me, taking both my hands in hers, "My little love, you need a mate, because he will need you," she chuckled a little bit, "when they finally find him. You will keep him warm and he will keep you warm, and you two will take care of each other. And you need a mate, because you should always care about others. But if you tried to care for all the others, you would fail miserably. There are just too many! So, those old women will find you the prefect mate, and you must take care of him as well as you can. He will be your charge! You must pour all of your energy into him and care for him like he is the world, and he will do the same for you. I know you won't disappoint me, because you are a very good girl." She ruffled my short black hair, before standing up and leading me into our home.

I didn't understand why back then, but it took a full year longer than normal for the Matchmakers to find an appropriate partner for me. All of my other friends had been paired up and sometimes they asked me why I was still alone. I always shrugged and told them that the Matchmakers were having a hell of a time. My friends and their new partners would all laugh and then we would run off to play. I learned later that my spirit had such a high concentration of Fire and Water that the wizened old women had to find a mate with equally high concentrations of balancing elements. Furthermore, Fire and Water, apparently, had never been so boldly present in equal amounts before. In fact, it was unheard of. So, they had to find a boy with equal amounts of Earth and Air, the other unheard of element combination (indeed, most people only had one element, perhaps with small traces of another), and let's not forget that the Earth and Air must match my own Fire and Water in magnitude. A rare boy indeed.

Shin's Earth must have helped him heal faster. Earth is the origin of all life. But even Earth cannot, alone, save someone who is starving. My stomach roared in pain. Neither Shin nor I had eaten since the morning of the battle yesterday. I stood up, wincing and scrunching my face to bear the pain shooting through every nerve. Trying my best to ignore the cries from my body, I began rummaging through the sacks hanging over the sides of the mare. She shied at first, but I cooed gently to her and she calmed. I hoped to find some sort of food, but the only thing close was a small sack of horse grains. I glanced out across the yellow desert and knew that we had to save every bit of the grain for the horse, if we planned to escape to friendly territory alive. After further searching, I found a feed bag, and I poured a small portion of grain into it. I walked over to the mare's wary face and let her sniff the bag before gliding it gently over her muzzle and reaching up to secure it behind her ears. I returned to her side and searched for anything else that might be useful.

I felt something horribly familiar. I withdrew my hands from the sack and brought with them a grey Westerner military blanket. I almost threw it, chucked it as far as I could, but I held fast. With such a lack of blood, Shin needed help to stay warm. My fingers tingled at the rough, woolen texture, and my back tingled at the memories of the same texture pressed hard through my battle robes. I knelt down and spread the blanket over Shin's still form as quickly as I dared. Strangely, I felt a pang of guilt, as if my treatment of the blanket might make Shin think I felt the same about him. Trying to tell myself that such thougths were nonsense, I turned back to the muscular horse and further examined the contents of the saddlebags. In this desolate wasteland the only things that would be worth using the energy to catch would be jackrabbits, and if we were lucky, a coyote or fox. The jackrabbits were our most likely bet. If only there were some...

Rope! I pulled out a sturdy coil of roughly woven rope. It was nearly perfect for the job. It was thicker than what I had hoped for, and that extra weight would make it much easier for the little, swift creatures to make their escape, but there was no use complaining now. I set off to find a good trap location. The animals would already be wary of our scent so I travelled far out into the warming sun. When I looked back, the rock alcove was nothing but a speck. I was sweating, thirsty, pained, and it wasn't getting any cooler. I scanned the horizon, searching for a great, strong cactus. This is where the animals would show, especially jackrabbits, who relied heavily on the cacti for hydration. Yes, there it is! A massive saguaro cactus caught my eye, towering above even the tallest Joshua trees. I approached it as silently as I could, keeping downwind. Luck seemed to favor me this day, and there was not an animal in sight. They may still be in their burrows and dens, it was probably still cool there.

I set up a crude trap. It was hard with this kind of rope, but luckily it was long enough for me to toss over one of the saguaro's taller arms and take it back to a safer distance where I would be less suspicious. Eternity passed before even a sign of life was to behold. No, it was only a black scorpion. I sat crouched, ready to spring into action behind a small cluster of young cacti. By now I could feel the sun burrowing deep into my skin, I knew it would be red and sensitive by day's end.

"You're like snow," the little boy stood rigid and held a small wildflower out to me with a stiff arm. His robes were tattered and obviously of the lower classes. Behind him stood six old women who seemed quite proud of themselves. This was my mate.

I cocked my head and my short black hair shifted slightly, brushing my round cheeks, "You're a strange boy. What are you here for?" The boy blushed visibly, but made every effort to hide his child's disappointment. Being so young, I didn't even notice, and simply stood there waiting for an explanation.

"Why, young lady, this is the boy you have been waiting so long for!" one of the dried women croaked to me. I then felt the presence of my mother beside me and I looked quizzically up at her. Words were not needed when she gave me her beaming nod. As realization washed over me, my smile grew proportionately. I ran forward to the boy and he remained still, almost as if he were steeling himself for a blow. I stopped just in front of him and looked from his eyes to the little flower he still held up for me. I slowly reached my hand up for it, slowly as if I were trying to coax a wild bird to land. I grasped it in my fingers and gazed at the tiny yellow petals. My heart was racing. I was so excited! Looking back into his dark eyes, I asked his name.

"Shin." He stated abruptly. He seemed so frightened. He obviously was trying to hide it, trying to look as brave as the Earth itself, but I could feel his fear radiating. Not really thinking about it, I took a quick step forward and embraced him with the same loving hug I only ever gave to my mother.

"I'm Karin," I mumbled joyously into the folds of his robes. He smelled of warm earth, and I burrowed my face into his shoulder, all the while my smile seemed to yank happy tears from my young eyes. The moment the first one rolled down my cheek, he dropped his facade and wrapped his thin arms around me. I could feel his entire body relax and fall into mine.

"Karin, Karin!" He seemed to be crying, too.

A jackrabbit! The little creature had sniffed cautiously at the rope, twitching its nose at the thin spines that had pushed out of the braids. My heart began to pump, my muscles automatically tensed, but I held myself more still than ice. I couldn't afford to miss this, any longer in the sun and I would die of dehydration. It pressed a small, tan paw on the bristly rope and when it saw that nothing happened, it hopped simply over it. Not yet! I felt my arms begging to pull on my end. I needed the little rabbit to relax. Wait until it begins gnawing through the waxy skin of the cactus. I could see the long, graceful ears turning in every direction, listening for any evidence of danger. Though I had been out here for hours, these few tense moments seemed longer than any day. Slowly, ever so slowly it hopped closer to its goal. After every hop it checked the wind with its ears. Closer...

Closer...

DO IT! I pulled with what strength sleep had given me and fell backward, hitting the ground with my back. My first instinct was to cringe. The sun had already eaten through the exposed skin and the rough dirt scraping me seemed like more pain than I had ever experienced. I regained my senses quickly. I had caught it! The poor thing was wriggling like mad, caught in the saguaro's arm. The rope was secure around both of its back legs. I picked up the stone I had found for this task and, keeping the rope taut in one hand, I walked over to the green cactus. I set the rock down and took up the rope with both hands. Giving a huge tug, the jackrabbit came free. It was struggling to run and, at the same time, to try and pull the spines that had gotten stuck during the capture. I gripped the jackrabbit's forelegs and struck it once with the stone. The movement ceased. I waited until its spirit was gone. The legs gave a final twitch. Freeing its back legs, I set it in an honorable position and bowed my head. Placing my palms together I prayed. I prayed to the Gods for saving us and for helping us, and I prayed to the spirit of this animal for scarificing itself for us. I tried to pray so that my appeciation could truly be heard. The sun started falling from its noon-time perch.

My tongue was starting to swell with thirst. I took the same stone I had killed the jackrabbit with and aimed. It sailed beautifully through the air, and made a wonderful impacting sound when it knocked off one of the saguaro's taller arms. I retrieved the stone and aimed again. Another hit! I knocked off two more arms, for a total of four and, using the rope, carried them and the jackrabbit back to our fortress. When I arrived, the stones were casting cool shadows within their realm. Feeling safer out of the extremities, my body once again resumed its crys of pain. I wished for a moment that I was back out there, so concentrated that nothing touched me. I shook the thought out of my head and set my quarry down in order to check on Shin's condition. He was no better. I tucked the blanket tighter around him, ignoring my raw memories, and began rummaging through the horse's packs once again. I needed most a bowl and a knife.

Disappointed, I turned to my catch holding only a farrier's knife. I suppose I couldn't complain, since it's not very likely to find a complete kitchen set in a stable. I had only hoped to find a bowl in order to more easily catch the jackrabit's blood. It had lots of vital nutrients and would help Shin regain the strength he lost. I'd just have to use my hand instead.

The first thing I needed to do was hydrate myself. I dug my fingers into the bare part of one of the cactus arms, avoiding the spines, and used the farrier's knife to cut through it. I had a slice, not unlike watermelon back in the days of youth and peace, and I proceeded to shave off the spines. Truly realizing my hunger and thirst, I wolvishly dug into the juicy flesh. I didn't even notice the flavor. It was gone within moments. I cleaned and ate another slice, and another, until I had finished off an entire cactus arm. The thought struck me as funny and I let out a short, and oddly gleeful laugh. Having a full stomach and a moist mouth, I was finally able to concentrate on Shin. The dead rabbit still lay in the position I had dropped it in when I arrived. I untied it from the rope and walked across the stone on my hands and knees, the knife in one hand and the rabbit's ears secure in my other. When I reached Shin's side, I set the items off to the side and struggled slightly to maneuver his head onto my folded legs so that I could feed him properly. When I felt satistfied, I grabbed the jackrabbit and held its head back, exposing the base of its neck. I made a small cut, deep enough to puncture the major artery, and then lifted it up by its back legs, letting the blood slowly pour into my hand. It didn't take long, since I could only hold a small amount.

"Shin," I tilted his head back, opening his mouth, "here is something to heal you. You must drink it..." I reached my hand down to his lips and tilted the slightly warm blood slowly into his mouth. Only a small amount to see if he could swallow. Thank goodness, it seemed his natural reflexes took over and contracted the muscles in his throat. He swallowed another tiny portion. I must keep the amounts to a minimum, nothing more than what he would automatically swallow in spit during his sleep. Finally I emptied my hand, and I once again raised the little beast by its legs, letting the blood drip. I set the jackrabbit down on the stone, keeping the slit facing upwards. As I poured a fourth portion from my hand, a little stream of blood escaped my fingers and dripped down Shin's pale chin. It mixed with his own dried blood, and I decided not to bother with wiping it up. He needed these nutrients more urgently.

I kept feeding Shin in this manner until the jackrabbit was dry. The sun was nearly gone by now and I once again felt sleep tugging me. The sun had always seemed to steal my strength even under peaceful conditions, so today the effect was several fold. I was exhausted. I removed the red mare's feed bag and replaced it in the sack hanging on her back. I didn't bother tying her up tonight. She had proven herself last night; there was no reason for me to betray that trust. As I gazed at Shin's resting form, it could have only been a trick of the fading sun, still, he seemed more alive. I hoped it wasn't the sun. I felt like my legs dragged lifelessly across the stone as I settled myself in for a, hopefully, more comfortable sleep this night. I slipped under the blanket I had spread over Shin that morning. At first, I lay sterile, not touching him, only sharing the cover. I still felt...unclean. I saw the stars as I gazed unemotionally upward, and they seemed cold.

A quiet, sleepy whisper to my left, "Karin?..." I froze. His state hadn't changed, he was still sleeping, and then I melted. Feeling foolish and sick, I turned over, wrapping my arm aroud his chest, pulling myself as close to his unnaturally cool body as I dared. I kept him warm. Mother was most certainly proud of me. Sleep swept over me, and I was smiling.