A/N: First off, thank you to Miss-Simmone01, Poptard, animegirl214, Dances-with-Pen, chng234, Alenor, Spirit of the Black Leopard and oxsarahxo for giving me feedback on the last chapter. You guys rock!

Next: Whatever you do, please don’t stop before you finish reading this chapter—we’re nearing the end of the story, and I’m not going to run it into the ground, but this chapter is not going to be what you expected to read next. (And the last chapter wasn’t cheerful either, but I’m gonna need you guys to trust me.)

Have faith in me. :) Don’t give up as you start to read this chapter and realize what the hell I did…

Chapter soundtrack: Fort Minor- Where’d You Go?

Sitting at the table at the little café in Soho, Janine played with her two year old daughter’s dark brown curls, lightly rearranging them around her shoulders and placing a little kiss on her forehead.

“Momma, no,” the little girl said, grabbing her hair from her mother.

Smiling, Janine left her hair alone, knowing that it irritated her poor daughter to no end. “I’m sorry, honey, you have pretty hair.”

There was a loud sigh from the chair to Janine’s right and she glanced over at her five-year-old son.

“Nathan, honey, are you getting bored?”

“Yes,” he drawled. “When is he ever getting here?”

Glancing at her watch, she said, “Well, he should have been here 10 minutes ago, but you know how traffic is in this city, honey. I’m sure your father will be here any minute.”

“I’m hungry,” he whined.

“Well, have a drink. I’ll give him five more minutes and then I’ll call him.”

He made a face, but then he reached for his drink and took a sip, turning to look at the street and watch for his dad to arrive.

“I want color,” said the toddler on Janine’s lap.

Smiling, Janine repeated, “You want to color? Well, I don’t have anything for you to color with right this second.”

“This take too long,” she said, looking annoyed.

Chuckling, Janine said, “Goodness you two are impatient.”

“See, even Claire’s bored,” Nathan said in his own defense. But then as he returned to his street watch, he saw a cab pull up to the curb and the door opened.

Smiling, Janine said, “There, see, I told you he’d be here soon.”

“Dad!” Nathan said, jumping up out of his seat and running over to the sidewalk despite his mother’s protests.

“Hey, kid,” his father replied cheerfully, scooping him up into his arms and grinning, saying, “Did you miss me?”

“Yeah,” Nathan said enthusiastically.

Ducking back into the cab, Will brought out a shopping bag and thanked the cab driver, shutting the door and walking up the sidewalk over to the table where Janine and Claire sat waiting.

“I missed you, too,” he told Nathan. “We’ll just have to have lots of fun to make up for it.”

Smiling, Janine lightly bounced Claire in her lap as she watched both of their blond heads approach the table, Nathan rattling to Will about the lion he wanted to see at the zoo when they went.

Chuckling, Will said, “Sounds like you have it all planned out.”

“I do,” Nathan said happily. “Mom wants to go, too.”

“Well of course,” Will said with a nod, taking a seat and fluidly sitting Nathan on his lap. With a smile, Will looked over at Janie and said, “Hey there.”

“Hi. I see he’s already detailing this trip to the zoo. I wonder where he got the idea,” she said, looking at him pointedly.

Innocently placing a hand at his heart, Will said, “You don’t suspect me of planting the idea in his head, do you?”

“Well, it’s awfully funny that he got off the phone with you and all of a sudden had an insuppressible urge to go to the zoo.”

“Oh come on, we haven’t been since he was two. We never took Claire; you could bring her this time.”

“That’s because Jess and I want to take Claire to the zoo her first time,” Janine stated as a gentle reminder that he didn’t always have dibs.

“Oh. Well, you can bring him, too. We can all go to the zoo together, one big, happy family.”

Nathan grinned and said excitedly, “Yeah, why don’t we bring Jess? Can we, Mom?”

“We’ll see,” Janie replied.

“I barely got to see Dad all summer,” Nathan told her, making a long face. “We gotta go to the zoo.”

“It isn’t my fault he had to go to Boston for most of the summer.”

“We could’ve gone with him,” Nathan told her.

“Uh, yeah, I don’t think that would have worked, kiddo,” she replied, shaking her head.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Will said to Nathan, getting him off Janie’s back. “We got to visit each other on father’s day—remember when I took you down to the stadium? That was fun, wasn’t it? And we talked every night.”

“Yeah, but I missed you,” Nathan stated.

Smiling, Will gave him a kiss on the forehead and said, “I know, I missed you too.”

“So we gotta go to the zoo,” Nathan told him.

Ruffling his son’s blond hair, Will said, “Why do I feel like this whole guilt trip about missing me has been to get back to the point that we have to go to the zoo?”

Nathan merely smiled, then he turned back to face his mom and said, “I’m so hungry, Mom. When can we eat?”

“Now that Will’s here we’ll order as soon as the waitress comes out here,” Janie promised him.

“In the meantime, how about presents?” Will suggested.

“Presents!” Nathan said, looking down at Will’s bag.

“You get the first one,” Will said, pulling a red, black and white ball cap out of the bag and putting it on Nathan’s little blond head.

“Red Sox! Thanks, Dad!” Nathan exclaimed, holding the hat on his head and turning to give Will a hug.

Chuckling, Will hugged him back as he pulled out a matching Red Sox jersey, which Nathan happily claimed when he turned around.

“This is great,” Nathan said, happily tugging the jersey on over his head.

Will pulled the next item out of the bag and then he smiled, looking over at Janie. “Here’s your mom’s.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Janie told him, taking the folded up shirt from across the tables.

“Well, I know you liked the show,” he replied, already back into the bag.

Opening it up, she saw it was a brown Cheers t-shirt, and she laughed. “You’re right, I do. Thank you.”

“Yep. And Claire—do you want a present, too?”

Shyly peeking at him, she smiled and nodded her head.

Pulling out a red plush lobster with “Boston” embroidered on his claw, he handed it over to Claire. “Here you go, I thought you might like him.”

“Thank you,” she said, hugging the lobster close to her.

“I’m gonna eat him,” Nathan said, acting like he was going to come eat her lobster.

“No,” Claire said, giving her brother a dirty look and hugging her lobster even tighter.

“Be nice, or I take back the jersey,” Will told Nathan, squeezing him a little. “Do you like your presents?”

“I love ‘em, thanks Dad!”

“No problem, kid,” Will said, hugging him back. “I knew how much you liked seeing Fenway Park, so I thought you’d like those.”

“And you bought Claire a Red Sox dress and me a baseball when we went there,” Nathan enthused. “We got lots of stuff now.”

“I’ve got a framed picture of me and Nate in front of the Boston Harbor that you took, too, that one’s for you, but it’s still in the bag.”

“Oh, thanks,” Janie said.

The waitress came over then to get Will’s drink order, but since they had been waiting so long for him, everyone started ordering and then he just picked something when it came time for him to order.

As soon as they sent the waitress away, Will said, “By the way, there’s a dress in the bag for you, too.”

“Why?” Janie asked, frowning.

“Not a souvenir,” Will amended. “It’s khaki, Calvin Klein. I have this book drive thing that I have to go to this weekend and I need you to come and bring Nate, so I saw the dress and thought you could wear it.”

Nodding, Janie took the bag from Will and put Claire’s lobster back in it, not bothering to look at the dress or the framed picture. “Jess is working this weekend, I’ll have to bring Claire.”

“No problem,” Will said easily. ”I’m helping them sort books and everything, and the press will be covering it, so I need my son there.” Glancing down at Nathan he said, “What do you say, buddy? Want to help me sort books for other little kids who can’t afford books?”

“Sure,” Nathan said, grabbing his cup off the table and taking a sip.

“Good, you guys can come help me then.”

With a little smile across the table at her son, Janie turned her attention to Claire, dutifully fussing over her lobster.

--

Later that evening after she got Claire and Nathan both to bed, Janie went back out to the living room of their apartment and sat down on the couch with Jess.

“Why does he have to buy Claire presents?” Jess asked without preamble, taking a drink of the beer he was holding in his hands.

“It’s just a nice gesture,” Janie said. “When he’s giving Nathan a bunch of presents, he doesn’t want Claire to feel left out.”

“But she’s not his daughter, she’s mine,” Jess stated.

“I know, that, honey,” Janie said, leaning in and resting her head on his shoulder.

Jess didn’t say anything else, he just took another sip of his beer and used his other hand to flip the channel on the tv.

It had been six years since she and Jess had been married, and while she figured time would dull Jess’ annoyance at having Will in their lives, it had seemed only to serve as a foundation of resentment that had been building since the day she told Jess the truth and revealed Will as Nathan’s biological father.

“Do you work tomorrow?” Jess asked absently.

“Yeah,” Janie replied, looking at the television.

Nodding, he said, “You’ll start working more now that he’s back, huh?”

Sighing a little, Janie hoped they weren’t going to get into the same damn argument she had been having since Will recruited Janie into working with him. The pay was good and she got the hours she needed so she could take care of the kids.

“I was just asking,” he stated, hearing her sigh.

“Yes, now that he isn’t in Boston I’m going to have to work more.”

Will had gone on to law school at Columbia after he graduated from NYU, and right out of law school he got a job at a firm in Manhattan. As soon as he got his foot in the door, he got Janie a position as a receptionist at the firm where she worked for a little over six months, getting a little experience, and then when a position in the public relations division of the company opened up, even though Janie wasn’t the most qualified candidate, Will managed to get her promoted to the position. They pay was better, the hours were different, and the responsibility was a lot greater, but Will took Janie under his wing and helped her to learn the ropes. With Will’s help—his expertise and his time—Janie was really succeeding in pushing the firm’s image as positive.

Granted, Will had smoothly inserted himself into being the face of the firm because it was getting him noticed and making his stock go up, which would help him later when he finally made the leap to politics.

In the meantime, he used the law firm to make a name for himself. It didn’t really matter that he was known more for the good deeds he did than for any of the cases he had won—being a lawyer had never been his goal, it had just been the most logical step for him once he graduated from law school and passed the bar exam.

And Janie had been neatly pulled into helping Will develop his image, which usually worked out pretty perfectly for him. Anytime there was a photograph of him in the paper, Janie was right there with him. If it was something like the book drive where he was able to reinforce the family values, he would ask Janie to bring Nathan with her, and then it would be all three of them photographed together.

Law Practice Today had even written an article about them, citing them as a rare example of law firm public relations done the right way, and they had written up a nice little paragraph about Will’s “family first” values and how they made such a difference.

While Janie’s close proximity to Will’s career was working out beautifully for the reformed playboy, it was not doing anything to help Janie’s marriage.

Looking over at her husband as he took another sip of his beer and he focused on the tv, she noticed lines on his face that she didn’t think had been there last time she looked.

“He needs me to go to a book drive this weekend.”

Looking over at her, Jess said, “I can’t watch the kids this weekend, Janine, you know I have to work.”

“I know,” she said. “He wants me to bring Nathan; I’ll just have to bring Claire, too.”

Jess scoffed a little and nodded, but he didn’t say anything.

For a few more minutes Janie sat there on the couch with Jess, looking at the tv but not really watching it. Finally, she said, “Well, the kids are in bed, so if you’re going to watch tv… I have some work I’m going to get a head start on.”

“Yep,” Jess said with a little nod.

Janie stood up. “I’ll be at my laptop in the bedroom if you need me.”

He nodded once more, his attention still fixed on the television.

Sighing quietly, Janie made her way to their bedroom alone to do some work.

--

The weekend came around pretty quickly, and while Janie was used to having Nathan at events, having Claire was throwing her off. Usually Jess would watch Claire, so Janie was trying to juggle being a mom with doing her job, and the result was driving her a little crazy.

Since she did have the kids, she couldn’t go back to the office after the event, because Jess wouldn’t be home for a few more hours, and by the time she got to the office some of the people she needed to talk to would have already gone home for the evening.

So Janie found herself at the book drive trying to keep an eye on Claire as she stood with Nathan, and also tell one of the senior lawyers about the story that PR firm they worked with wanted to pitch to reporters.

“So, I’ve been talking to everyone up to this point to make sure everything is set in motion, but they’re going to need to actually speak with you to get your legal perspective on the story. They need to know today when you’re going to be able to talk to them.”

“I don’t have time for that” he said dismissively.

“But sir, with all due respect, this firm has achieved the good image it has right now because of my division, because we take PR seriously. Most firms don’t even have someone pushing the company’s PR, and this puts us ahead of the rest. If we don’t keep communicating, we’re going to fall behind and PR isn’t going to be able to keep up our image.”

The older lawyer smiled and said, “I can see why Chatham likes to have you babysitting him all the time; you are persistent.”

Nodding, she said, “I want to make sure that we follow through and we produce the best image that we can.”

“Why don’t they talk to Will? He’s the popular one, the handsome one, the one who goes to every event.”

“Because, sir, they don’t want to talk to the face of the firm, they want to talk to the brains.”

Caught off guard, the old man laughed. “All right, well, check my schedule and see when you can arrange it, then just let me know when and where I need to be.”

Smiling, she said, “I can certainly do that.”

“Mommy, book!” Claire said, running over to Janie and holding up one of the donated books.

“No, Claire. Go put the book back in that box,” Janie said, leaning down and pointing. “Go put it back; you need to leave the books alone.” Then, righting herself, she said to the lawyer, “I’m sorry about that. I’m not going to be able to make it back to the firm until later though, so I’ll call and check your availability as soon as I can, then I’ll confirm with the PR reps, and then I will try to get back to you before you go home tonight.”

The old man nodded, glancing at Claire, and then he left Janine to go speak with someone else.

Sighing, Janine walked over to where Will was standing with Nathan. “I’ll be glad when this is over. Nathan’s old enough to be here, but Claire isn’t. I thought Bob was going to bite my head off when she brought me a book.”

Smiling, Will said, “Ah, don’t worry about him.”

“Yeah, because people never worry about senior lawyers that they work under,” she said sarcastically.

“It’ll be fine,” he said dismissively. “But hey, I was just talking to the photographer a second ago and of course she was taken with Nathan, so she’s writing the article about the book drive and she’s going to take a picture of Nathan helping me sort books to go with the article. Stay over here so she can get all three of us.”

“Look who’s doing my job for me,” Janie said jokingly.

He smiled at her, flashing his teeth. “You’re the pupil, I’m the master; never forget.”

Janie rolled her eyes. “You wish.”

“I know. And I know how to talk to women; I think the photographer likes me, too.”

“Your womanizing days are behind you, Chatham,” Janie reminded him. “I work PR for the firm, but I’m not going to try to tidy up your personal affairs.”

“Hey, I never have personal affairs anymore,” he defended. “You know I’m Mr. Family Values now. I’m all about the city and my kid—there is no room in my heart for any woman but you.”

Rolling her eyes, she said, “Aw, shucks.”

Will merely smiled.

“Mom, look,” Claire said, holding up two bookmarks, one of them in each hand.

Scooping her toddler into her arms, Janie said, “Why are you getting into everything?”

Claire just grinned and reached over to hand Will a bookmark.

“Thank you,” he said patiently.

Claire smiled and pointed the bookmark at his chest. “Room for me?”

Realizing Claire had obviously overheard his teasing, he laughed and picked Claire up, sitting her on his knee and telling her, “Of course there’s room for you.”

“Okay,” she said pleasantly.

“Hey!” Nathan exclaimed, seeing Claire in Will’s lap. “I’m helping my dad, not you.”

Claire gave Nathan a dirty look and stayed right where she was.

“Nathan, be nice to your sister,” Janie said.

“But I was helping dad,” Nathan said, his eyebrows flying up in his indignation. “She took my place!”

“Hey, guess what,” Will said.

“What?” Nathan asked.

“I have two knees,” Will informed his son. “There’s room for you, too.”

Janie was just about to tell Claire to move so Nathan could sit down and get ready for the picture when the photographer came over, cooing over how cute Will was surrounded by the kids.

Before Janie could offer to move Claire, Will just scooted Nathan onto his other knee and gestured for Janie to lean in with him. There was a box of donated books in front of him, and Nathan held up one of the books with a winning smile on his handsome little face while Claire just smiled absently, holding the bookmarks. Will reached out and pulled Janie in, leaving his arm draped over her shoulder and she smiled just in time for the flash.

“That was great,” the photographer said brightly to the kids. “You guys took a good picture. Do you like helping out at the book drive?”

“Yeah!” Nathan exclaimed. “My dad said we’re giving books to kids who couldn’t afford them, that way their mommies can read them stories before bed, too.”

Claire got bored in Will’s lap and climbed over to Janie, going, “Mommy,” in a whiny tone, and Janie snuggled Claire to her chest.

“I think she needs a nap.”

Rolling his eyes, Nathan said, “My little sister’s a baby, she still takes naps.”

The photographer was enchanted, so she allowed Nathan to escort her around the book drive, talking her ear off.

Shaking his head, Will said, “He’s going to be a heartbreaker.”

“He is not,” Janie said firmly, shooting Will a dirty look.

Raising his hands in surrender, Will said, “Okay, he’s not.”

“My son is going to be a good man,” Janie stated.

“I’m sure he will, just like his father.”

Janie shot him a dry look.

“Oh, since I’m already getting on your nerves, this is a great time for me to tell you that my mom’s coming to visit, and she wants us all to go out to dinner so she can see Nathan.”

“No,” Janie groaned.

“I know that you don’t exactly like my mother—“

“I cannot stand your mother,” Janie corrected.

“I know, but can’t you be a good politician’s wife and just fake it?” he replied charmingly.

“Oh, you know, I would, but I’m not your wife.” Grinning cheekily, she stood up and went after her son.

“Not yet, but I still have hope,” he joked.

“Well, you should probably let go of it. And I’m only going if we order the most expensive wine on the menu and you make your mom pay.”

“Done,” Will said with a single nod.

“And then I’m going to pour the wine down the sink,” Janie murmured.

“As long as you don’t pour it over her head,” Will returned.

“No promises.”

Laughing a little, Will said, “Thank you. I mean… if you really don’t want to go, you could always just let me take Nathan…”

“Nope,” she replied instantly. “You know the rules, Will.”

Sighing, he nodded and said, “I know the rules.”

“I’m going to round up my son. You’ve got the photo op, so I’m going to go ahead home.”

“All right. Thanks for bringing Nathan. Will I see you at the office later?”

“Depends, are you working late?”

“Probably. I have some actual work to do on a case, so…”

“You have a case?” she asked in mock surprise.

Shooting her a look, he said, “Yes, I have a case. I’m a lawyer.”

“I had no idea,” she replied with a slight smile before walking away to retrieve her son from the photographer.

--

The next evening Janie was working late at the office, doing a little extra filing since they had sent the lady who normally did it home early because she started throwing up.

Janie took over and finished up her work, then she went back to her own desk to go over her checklist and make sure she had returned all the calls she was supposed to return before she went home.

Will came walking over to her desk looking a tad awkward, which was an unusual look for him.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, giving him a strange look.

“Nothing that’s a big deal at all, despite what your first reaction might be.”

Looking at him levelly, she said, “What did you do?”

Raising his eyebrows, he said, “Why do you always assume when something’s wrong that I’m the one behind it?”

“Because I’ve seen your track record. What is it?”

“Nothing major, just a little misprint that I figured I should probably warn you about ahead of time.”

Glancing down at the newspaper she just realized he was holding, she held out her hand. “Give me it. Did they spell your name wrong? Why do some people find it so difficult—”

“They didn’t spell my name wrong,” he said, cutting her off. “It’s just that I know you get a subscription at home, and if Jess happens to pick this paper up, you might not have the happiest husband in the world waiting for you at home.”

Her eyes widened and she snatched the paper out of his hand, unfolding it to the bottom section where there was a picture from the book drive, the one the photographer had taken the day before. In the picture was Will holding Nathan and Claire, with his arm wrapped around Janie. She grimaced at the picture, knowing if Jess saw it he definitely wasn’t going to be happy.

“God, we look so cozy in that picture. You’re right; Jess is going to be pretty unhappy. I should probably stop and get some—“

“No, Janie, not the picture. The caption,” Will told her, leaning over and gesturing to the area underneath the picture.

Her eyes widened as far as they could go as she read the caption and said, “Why does that say ‘Chatham and his children’ like you have more than one?”

Grimacing he said, “Yeah, that’s what I was talking about. Then in the article there’s a little bit about how my girlfriend is also very active in helping out the community, and how we’re teaching our kids to follow in our footsteps. There’s a quote in there from Nathan that I authorized her to use about how he was helping us get books so that other kids could have their mommies read them bedtime stories, too.”

Closing her eyes for a brief second, Janie grabbed her purse from under her desk and stood up. “I have to go home. I have to… hope Jess forgot to get the paper today.”

“It’s not your fault, Janie; it’s an innocent mistake,” Will said to soothe her.

“Yeah, it was, but do you think that’s going to make him feel any better, Will? He hates sharing his wife and son with you, now you get credit for his daughter, too?”

“Nathan is my son, not his,” Will said mildly.

“Under what circumstances, Will?” Janie asked, bringing out the skeleton that she never let leave the closet.

Looking down, he said, “I thought we agreed to let that go and move past it.”

“We did, Will, but it doesn’t just go away. Jess knows. Jess has never… accepted this, he just tolerates it, and lately…” Shaking her head, she didn’t finish her sentence. “Just, never mind. I’m sorry I brought it up, but I have to go home, I have to do damage control. I can’t believe he hasn’t called me. Maybe that means he hasn’t seen it.”

“All right. Well, just tell him it was an honest mistake,” Will advised. “I’m not trying to steal his family.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’ll help,” she said dryly as she turned her desk light off and waved a quick goodbye, rushing to the staircase instead of waiting for the elevator.

--

Janie unlocked the door to their apartment and stepped inside, slightly out of breath from hurrying up the stairs.

As soon as she opened the door Claire called out, “Mommy!” and Nathan came over growling like a dinosaur to give her a hug.

Smiling, Janie bent down to catch her toddler in one arm and Nathan in the other. “Hey, miss me?”

“Rawr,” Nathan said.

“Is that Dinosaur for yes?” she asked.

Nathan nodded and said, “Rawr!”

Smiling, she ruffled his hair and gave Claire a kiss on the forehead. Then she stood up and peered around to the couch, where she spotted Jess. Her gaze flitted around for the offensive newspaper. It wasn’t on the counter or the table…

“Mom, I’m in the newspaper!” Nathan told her excitedly.

Fighting a grimace, Janie said, “I know, I just saw it.” Then she glanced over at Jess, who sat unmoving on the couch and she sighed, preparing to smooth over the damage.

“Hey, Nate, honey, why don’t you take your sister to your room and read her a picture book?”

“Do I have to?” Nathan complained. “She always turns the page before I finish my story.”

“Well, then play a game with her. Just take your sister to your room, please. I need to talk to Jess.”

Sighing, Nathan said, “Come on, Claire,” and he took the little girl’s hand.

Claire smiled, using her other hand to wave at Janie and say, “Bye, mommy!”

Janie offered a smile and waved at her daughter as she followed her brother down the hallway, then she slowly made her way over to the couch and sat down next to Jess.

“Hey,” she said quietly.

He didn’t answer.

“So… how was your day?” she asked.

“Fucking fabulous. How was yours? How’s the boyfriend doing?”

Unintentionally sighing, she said, “It was a misprint, Jess. I know that it couldn’t have made you happy, but it wasn’t my fault… Well, actually, I guess it kind of was, because I’m in charge of PR and I should have spoken to the girl myself instead of letting Will and Nathan talk to her, but… it was an honest mistake, honey.”

For a minute, he was silent, and Janie didn’t know what to make of it. Then he finally spoke, slowly saying, “Do you think it’s easy for me to have to read newspaper articles that link my wife to another man?”

“Honey, that was a misprint—“

“I’m not talking about the misprint,” he said, not letting her finish. He finally turned his head to look at her. “I’m talking about every event that you’ve ever been to with him. Every dinner with his family that I don’t read about, but I have to spend my evening at home with Claire thinking about—do you think those are easy?”

“We only have to visit his parents twice a year,” Janie said. “And the papers—Jess, that’s my job. It isn’t because we’re pals, it’s because it’s what I get paid to do. I have to be at those events.”

“Do you have to take Nathan?” Jess asked rhetorically.

Averting her gaze, she said, “You know that Will stipulated that he be able to use Nathan whenever he wanted.”

Shaking his head, Jess said, “See, you even said ‘use’ Nathan; I don’t even have to point out that he’s just parading Nathan as a political cushion to push all his family value bullshit. It’s pathetic, and you let him do it.”

“I have to,” she stated. “You know why.”

“Because the all-powerful Chathams—the people you’ve built our life around—always have your head one threat away from the chopping block?”

Sighing, Janie stood up, no longer wanting to sit still. “There’s nothing I can do, Jess. Will is… biologically… I can’t keep him from Nathan. Even if I could, Nathan loves him—I couldn’t take Will from my son.”

After a second, Jess asked quietly, “Why are you married to me?”

Her jaw fell open and she sank down on the couch beside him, grabbing his shoulder and saying, “Because I love you.”

“Do you?” he asked.

“Of course I do—how could you even ask me that?” she said in disbelief.

Shrugging, he said, “It just seems like your life would be a lot easier if you left me. You wouldn’t have to keep juggling me with Will; he could have you all to himself.”

“Jess—“

But he cut her off, continuing, “And really, the only difference would be that you wouldn’t sleep here anymore. I mean, then he could marry you and probably somehow push me out entirely—he could dig up some long-forgotten piece of dirt on me and turn into a full-scale reason that I’m an unfit parent, that way he could just adopt Claire.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Janie said. “I’m never going to marry Will, and he isn’t going to adopt our daughter—nor would he probably even do that.”

“You have to say he probably wouldn’t even do that, and I’m the one being ridiculous?” Jess asked in disbelief, his voice rising as he stood up.

Janie quickly stood up as well. “Please don’t yell, I don’t want the kids—“

“You don’t want the kids to hear?” he asked, nodding. “Yeah. Well, you know what, I don’t think they should have to hear us fight anymore. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of fighting.”

“We don’t fight that much,” she said.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “That’s because I normally don’t say anything to you. But I fight, Janie. I have to fight with this shit every time you get up and go to work in the morning, every time Nathan brings home a new present from Will, every time you drag him along to one of Will’s publicity stunts. Do you know where my wife and son were on father’s day, Janie?”

Closing her eyes, she said, “I know, and I begged Will not to make me bring Nathan to him on father’s day, but I left Claire here so she could be with you.”

Shaking his head, he said, “You just don’t get it, do you?”

Having no idea what to say, Janie just stood there, looking at him.

Jess added in a shrug and glanced down at the floor saying, “I just don’t want to do this anymore, Janine.”

“We don’t have a choice, Jess,” she said tiredly.

“No. That’s where you’re wrong, Janie. You may not have a choice, but I don’t have to keep letting Will run my life.”

Her heart dropped and she felt instantly sick to her stomach. She swallowed, and whispered, “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” he said, sounding just as tired as she felt. Jess shook his head and said, “I’m sorry, Janie, but I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t… the life I had in mind when I asked you to marry me.”

Sinking down onto the couch, Janie tried to focus on breathing. “Are you saying…?”

“I want a divorce,” he said quietly.

Hearing the words felt like a physical blow, and Janie let out a gasping breath as tears welled up in her eyes. “Jess, please don’t do this. I love you,” she said, looking up at him tearfully. “Please. I’m so sorry that it’s hard for you, but… I’ll try to fix it, I’ll talk to Will…”

“Quit your job,” he said.

“I’ll quit my job,” she replied immediately. “I can find a different one, one that’s less demanding where Will isn’t… present.”

“No more photo ops and publicity events with Nathan,” Jess added.

Hesitating, Janie said, “Jess, you know that’s not within my control…”

“Yes, it is,” he stated. “We could move; we don’t have to stay in the city. The kids would be happier if we could live somewhere they could play, a back yard, a swing set…”

Trying not to believe he was right, she said, “Jess, you know that I can’t do that. It isn’t because I don’t want to, but at this point I would need Will’s permission to move Nathan away, and he’ll never let me do that.”

“So don’t listen to him,” Jess said in frustration. “Don’t let him run your fucking life anymore, Janie—all of our lives.”

“I can’t,” she said tearfully, her voice raising a little. “I can’t do that. You don’t understand, I can’t just pick us up and move, Jess—where are we going to go? I can’t leave the state, Will would never allow it and I’d get arrested for kidnapping my own damn son.”

“I don’t care where we go,” Jess stated, his eyes widening. “But I’m not staying here, I’m not going to live like this anymore.”

Taking a breath, Janie said, “Okay, I can talk to Will… maybe we could move… just a little bit away, just outside of the city so that he could still see Nathan whenever—“

“No,” Jess said, stopping her. “I don’t want you to be at his beck and call anymore.”

“I can quit the job, Jess, but I already told you I can’t keep him from Nathan.”

There was silence for a second, then Jess said, “You should have never let him in Nathan’s life.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” she said quietly. “Caroline threatened to take Nathan from me altogether, the only choice I had was to compromise.”

The living room fell silent again for a minute, only the low sounds of the television and the ceiling fan above them.

“Can we just… take this one step at a time?” Janie asked. “I know now that you aren’t happy and that things need to change, but can you please… just let me figure this out? Let me talk to Will…”

“Why?” Jess asked quietly. “It isn’t going to change anything.”

“But it might,” she said.

“No,” Jess said calmly. “I knew before you walked in that door tonight how this conversation was going to end, and it’s going to end the same way if we end it tonight or in three months. Why drag it out like that?”

“Because… our marriage is worth it?”

“But it’s not,” he said simply. “Not anymore. It hasn’t been for a long time.”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Janie said, “Jess, please don’t do this. We can talk about this—“

“I don’t want to talk,” he told her firmly. “I don’t. I’m done, Janie. You can try to… fix what can’t be fixed if you want to, but I don’t want to watch you lose the struggle. You can do it on your own. I’m leaving.”

“You can’t just up and leave, even if you’ve made up your mind. You’ll need time to pack and figure out where to go, so just give me that much time to try to figure out a way around this.”

“Time’s already up, Janie.”

Her eyes widened a bit and she sniffled. “What?”

Sighing, he said, “I already packed. I have a bag in our room. And… I already have somewhere to stay. I’m leaving tonight, after Claire goes to bed.”

Feeling as if he had just punched her in the stomach again, she said, “Tonight? You’re leaving tonight?”

“Yes,” he said with a nod.

“You’re just… going to be abandon me with no warning? You don’t think this is a little sudden?” she demanded.

“No, Janie, I don’t. I think I’ve already stayed about five years longer than I should’ve. I don’t owe you anything else.”

She could only stare at him in disbelief, heartbroken and about a million other emotions she couldn’t put a name to.

“Jess… please don’t do this,” she whispered desperately.

Shaking his head, he said, “I didn’t do this Janie; you did.”

There was nothing she could say to that, so just swallowed, not looking at him.

“I’m going to go… spend some time with Claire,” he said a little awkwardly, turning around and walking down the hall to the room Claire and Nathan shared.

Janie sat there in shock, staring in front of her at nothing, trying to process what had just happened.

Nathan finally came bounding down the hall and jumped on the couch, and Janie was too distracted to scold him for jumping on the furniture.

“Jess said he’s gonna play with Claire so I don’t have to,” Nathan informed her.

Nodding silently, Janie didn’t move.

Nathan started talking again, but Janie couldn’t hear him. All she could do was sit there, numbly aware that her whole life was falling apart. Jess was leaving her. Her family was going to be broken apart. More broken apart than it already was. He would fade away, become an every-other-weekend visitation for Claire…

“Mom, you okay?” Nathan asked, poking her in the shoulder.

“Mommy needs to lie down,” Janie told him quietly.

“Are you sick?” he asked, frowning.

“Yes,” she said simply, lying down on her side on the couch.

Standing up, Nathan looked at her for a second and said, “I’ll get you a blanket.”

Again, she said nothing, just closed her eyes and tried to numb the pain that was making itself known in her heart, the thought of losing everything that mattered to her sinking in, as well as her utter helplessness to even stop it from happening.

Closing her eyes, Janie wished there was some way the pain could just stop and she could have the life she had wanted all those years ago.

--

Opening her eyes, Janie stared up at the ceiling, and for a split second she was disoriented.

The room was dark, and she tried to focus, to figure out how the room had gotten dark. What time was it?

Turning her head to look over at the clock, she stopped short when she saw Jess sleeping soundly on the pillow next to her. Her heart skipped a beat and then began racing as she absently reached out to touch his face and make sure he was real.

His nose twitched.

Suddenly Janie’s hand flew to her stomach and landed on a large bump, and she closed her eyes, so relieved that she thought she might start crying.

Janie reached out and grabbed Jess by the shoulder, shaking him awake.

He groaned, struggling to open his eyes.

“Wake up,” Janie said urgently.

“No,” he said, trying to close his eyes.

“Jess, please, open your eyes.”

His eyes shot open at the sound of her voice and he quickly started to sit up. “Are you okay? Is it the baby?”

“No,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “No, nothing like that.”

Squinting, he looked over at the clock and then back to her. “It’s 4:30 in the morning,” he stated.

“I know,” she said. “But I need to talk to you.”

“At 4:30 in the morning? Can’t it wait?”

“No,” she told him, shaking her head. “I haven’t been honest with you.”

Frowning at her, he went, “Huh?”

Sighing, Janie said, “Jess, you know how I told you earlier that I had to go meet with the florist because my bouquet got messed up?”

He just looked at her.

“I didn’t go to the florist,” she said quietly.

“Well…where’d you go?” he asked.

Swallowing, she said, “I went to meet Will.”

Instantly awake, Jess’ face first fell and then hardened and he pushed himself up and away from her.

Grabbing his hand, she said, “It’s nothing like what you’re thinking right now.”

“Explain then—quickly,” he said, his tone not very friendly.

“Okay. But first you have to promise me that you aren’t going to try to do anything stupid.”

“Like?”

“Like… beat Will up or tell John.”

Frowning, Jess said, “If it’s nothing like what I’m thinking, then why are you afraid Will’s going to get beat up?”

“Because… I’m in trouble, Jess. I’m in trouble and I thought that I could take care of it myself, but… I can’t. I need help.”

After a pause, he said, “I’m listening.”

“The other night when we were at Will’s apartment… I found a picture in his room… a picture I was in… from the night I was raped.”

“You… didn’t know Will yet…”

Swallowing, she said, “I didn’t think I did. Before I go any farther I need you to promise me you’re not going to go after him.”

“I can’t promise that,” Jess said.

“You have to.”

“Janie, are you saying Will is the one who raped you?” he asked, throwing back the comforter and climbing out of bed, bending down and grabbing his jeans off the floor.

Jumping up off the bed, Janie ran over to stand in front of the door with her body against it. “If you leave this apartment and so much as lay a finger on Will, he is going to make sure you go to jail and I lose custody of my son.”

His jaw fell open at first, and then he said, “That’s the most fucking ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, Janie! If he raped you, he’s the one who needs to go to jail.”

“Sit down and I will tell you everything.”

He stood there for a second, looking torn, but eventually he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Janie hesitantly moved away from the door and sat down beside him, taking his hand in hers and saying, “It all started that night at his apartment…”

A/N: :) Hope you guys… well, enjoyed wouldn’t be the right word, but I hope you were at least immersed in this update. :)