Dear Dad

As I cry my silent tears,

You laugh at all those long years,

Promises you never kept,

Make up for the months I never slept,

I smile despite my fears,

Of real instead of silent tears,

And even though I try,

I can't help but cry,

Cast in the shadow of a doubt,

You'll never care even if I shout,

How long has it been?

5 and a half years since then,

I haven't spoken to you for that long,

And now it's like I don't belong,

I try to make sence of you every day,

But you're the reason I don't pray,

A fear of being hurt by men,

Came from your abusing women,

And even though that's a stupid excuse,

On me I fear men might use abuse,

Because of all those mental scars,

I'll never lay underneath the stars,

With the guy of my dreams,

So because of you it seems,

That I'll cry every night,

In my mental tomb out of sight

As little as my worth may be,

Some one has to care for me,

Right?