Goodbye everyone, and hello God

The minutes tick away like sand through fingers, each minute rushing past the 60-second line. The vest feels heavy, the bag feels heavy, and each step feels heavy. Yet despite all these, I walk briskly on, a purposeful stride towards my destination.

I know what I am supposed to do, and it is a task assigned by God.

God has specially selected me to do this task, and I will do it with honour, without doubt, for it is my task. I will not fail God, I will not shirk my responsibilities in disgrace, I will complete this honour-given task successfully.

I will devote my heart, blood, life to this task.

My palms feel sweaty with the control in them, and I wipe them on my pants. Yet within a few seconds they get sweaty again, and the control feels slippery in them. I grip it more tightly, the green veins showing translucently through my thin skin. I wonder if any of the people walking past me suspect anything.

I wonder if they know that they are going to die.

For they have committed crimes, they have offended God. They have not obeyed Him, and He is displeased with them. They will not go to Heaven, they have sinned too grievously. No, they will end up in Hell, where the burning fire and piercing knives will force them to repent for their sins. But I will go to Heaven, and receive my deserved honour, the limitless honour bestowed on me if I complete my assigned task successfully.

And I will.

As the subway station looms into view, I smile, the first smile in many days, for I have spent days worrying about today. Today, everything is going to end, my worries will be gone, for today is The Day. All my meticulous planning will show its results today, and all the people will go to where they deserve to go – Hell.

And me, Heaven.

The people walk past me without a second glance, all engaged in their selfish thinking of their lives. That is one of their crimes. They claim to put their faith in God, but do they? Only when they want something do they go to God. When they reap the rewards of God’s efforts, they spend the rewards in glee, spend the rewards for themselves without a second thought for God, thinking that they should deserve all the rewards for their effort spent. Yet it is God who spends His effort helping them, and his effort goes by unappreciated. Stuck in their selfish lives, sinning freely and thinking that all sins will be erased if they go to Sunday church every week.

They are wrong.

My backpack seems to be getting heavier, and I know that signals the end of the race, the end where I will run past the finish line with glory. Just a press of the button once I get into the midst of the crowd in the subway, and I will have run past the finish line, ready and prepared to meet my creator.

Am I ready?

I believe I am. I have chosen this path, I have taken on the task assigned to me. As I walk into the thickening impatient crowds in the subway, tightly packed with them as though we are cells packed tightly in a vein, I stretch a trembling finger out. The button sits there, smiling away at me, and I know I have made a right decision.

Goodbye everyone, and hello God.

The button is pressed, and the last thing I feel is searing, tortuous pain, as though my internal organs are being ripped out by a minute knife, and the last thing I know of is my smiling face, and the screaming crowds.

A.N.: I just thought it would be interesting to do a story in the point of view of a suicide bomber in the recent London bombings.

Same as before,
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