|I Want A NonAlcoholic Bar
Author: WakkoRyan PM
No way that's going to happen.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Words: 765 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-06-05 - id: 2021876
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I want a non-alcoholic bar.
I'd like to be able to hang out with more than two or three people every once in a while without having to deal with drunk people and ridiculous costs. Where I'm from, you can't even play pool without dealing with drunken people, since all the pool halls are also bars (actually, the most popular one is an extension built onto a popular bar.)
I know that there would be no chance of a non-alcoholic bar making money for several reasons, like these:
1.) People seem to think that they can't possibly socially interact unless they are drunk. This includes the designated driver. Believe me, I've been the DD often enough to know that when you are the DD you shut the hell up and hide in the corner to avoid all the crazy drunks.
2.) If the drinks aren't alcoholic, why have so many that you have to piss every half hour? If it were all just pop and shakes, you'd have 4 at the most. So the business would not make money unless the drinks were expensive. Which they certainly could not be, since they don't have alcohol in them. And although it works for a certain alcoholic drink, putting gold shavings in a glass of lemon-lime pop just to make it prettier and more expensive won't result in more revenue. Only people that are drunk or are trying to get drunk are dumb enough to stick metal shavings down their throats.
3.) People would consider anyone that went to non-alcoholic bars to be a total geek. There would be gangs of people waiting outside these non-alcoholic bars to beat up the "wimps" that came out. Of course, the people in these gangs would most likely be drunk, so it'd be pretty easy to run from them, but that's not my point.
Still, I'd love a non-alcoholic bar. I even have a general idea in my head, just no money to follow through with it. And as mentioned before, there is no way this venture could be profitable.
I think it would be great to go to a place where everyone could just hang out, drink pop and shakes (there would be food too but that's not what I'm getting at,) without too much worry about a barfight or someone puking on you.
There would be pool tables in one room. Maybe arcade games too. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't know of a bar that has video game systems, since you can't trust drunks with electronics. It'd be great to play games with people you don't know, and as an added bonus, you wouldn't have to deal with their drunken ramblings. Some would still ramble, but again, that's deviating from what my point is.
Another room would be devoted to live bands or CDs on speakers, and in a more perfect world (one that would accept such a place,) people might even dance and/or sing along, finally realizing that they don't need to be drunk to engage in this type of activity.
Think of some of the differences that are negatives when drinking. You can party even on days when you have to work early the next day. You might have a bit of a hangover, but that would be exhaustion from staying up late and comedown from sugar rush. And when it's time to go home, guess what? You've just saved from seven to forty dollars, depending on how far away you live, because you can drive home instead of paying some guy you've never met to drive you home in his dirty cab. You'd just have to look out for all the drunk drivers coming out of the alcoholic bars (but there hopefully would be less, since the non-alcoholic bar would logically be popular. Logically. You know how well logic works these days.)
As my best friend pointed out, a community center can kind of provide these things, but I'm taking large-scale, organized, well-staffed, and, um…not creepy. Really, most popular bars around here are quite nice looking. That's what I want, without the alcohol.
I know there's no chance this would ever work, because the average member of society is too dumb (and too drunk,) to realize what a great idea this is. But that doesn't mean I can't dream.