So you screw up once, try to make everything right, and get it all thrown back into your face? Is that how it works? Do you go forward, say you’re sorry, only to be told that it doesn’t count for anything? Apparently so.

I knocked, tried to whisper “sorry” through the doorway, but my voice caught and your response to me coming in was a final no. What am I supposed to say to that? How am I supposed to fix it if you won’t even let me say sorry for the things you think I did? How am I, as a person myself, supposed to go forward in my life if every time I try to apologize, it means nothing to you? How the hell am I supposed to fix that?

Was there some memo sent out today that my feelings don’t count? That what I’m comfortable with doesn’t mean anything? Because I must have missed it. I must have missed that little message that flew through one ear and out the other while I was trying to whisper “sorry”, and I guess it must have been important. Really damn important, because all you can say to me is no.

And as you do, I lash back automatically. My fault my fault my fault my fault is all I can hear echoing in my head anymore. That’s what the scars say from when you used to scream before, and what my empty stomach is trying to whimper to you. All I want to do is say I’m sorry and make everything okay again…even if I don’t believe I did anything wrong.

Please, I just want to make this go away.